Wisecrack Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 I have two friends of separate circles. I'd rate them both solidly as good looking people with the personality to match. The female was never interested in my mate; pursuing other options and it's taken him 8 months that he has now finally bagged her. They are really happy together. What I am getting at is he was the second option yet he is now with her. This begs me to ask the questions of this board. Everyone says to move on when feelings are not reciprocated. We're told to have some self respect in ourselves etc etc. Yet I look at the above situation and it almost goes against everything we preach here. And yet they are happy and so many here are asking questions about their dating problems. So I beg to ask the question then does this change anything? Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Maybe she was interested in your mate, but was purposefully playing hard-to-get. (not that I agree with that method) Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Well you left out a lot of important details. Usually if it's stated that someone should move on and deserves better is because one person was toying with the others emotions. Was the woman mean to your friend, stand him up several times, abusive and then it worked out? If your friend just chased a girl for eight months and she finally "chose" him because none of her better options worked out then that's different too. Need more info. Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 There is a fine line here and a lot of people don't see it. Maybe your friend is a 'second choice' but it doesn't mean she thought 'I will date this one guy and if that doesn't work out I'll date him'… Sometimes there is something right in front of us and we just don't see it right away. It doesn't necessarily mean he isn't respecting himself at this point and deserves better. Now, if she is manipulating him and using the fact he 'waited around for eight months' to have her way with him, and he lets her, then he isn't respecting himself and deserves better. But if, as you say, they are happy and have a healthy relationship, then good for him! I guess good things does come to those who wait Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 And he 'bagged' her how long ago? Give it time before calling it a success story. I have given chances to 'second choices men' and at first it was nice and dandy but then it died on my end. I was with these men because I wanted to be in a relationship, not because I wanted to be with this specific man, and it catch up to me. Link to post Share on other sites
kane30us Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Your story misses a lot of details. When we say "we need to move on" and "keep our self respect" its usually dealing with a heartache due to a breakup. We need to move on because we need to heal and work on ourself. Your story sounds like a guy chased after a girl for 8 months and finally landed a date. Two different things. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts