tendaloven23 Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 OKAY, I am new here and I hope I get some info on this one! Me and my guy are working on three years, we just got a nice home after living really rough.When we first met he told me, him and his ex has hooked up while they were with someone else.This is before my time,well anyways--we got our new home in dec 04 and he got a settlement,well,he has his ex wife's brother-in-law up here working for him on our porch and lil nitpick things and he's paying him for it even after he just gave him $4,000.00 for child support to keep him out of jail.They(ex wife brother-in-law or ex wifes sister)had nothing to do with him until he got his money.His ex calls all the time and i understand they have a 14 yr.old son whos capable of calling on his own,instead she insists.Not to long ago she sold her son off to my boyfriend if hed pay off her truck,she went to the arcade instead.Well,after his son moved in,she came to our house supposably to watch him ride his new motor cycle,but ended up staying all day,riding four wheelers,cooking out,along with her sister,brother-in-law,ect.which made me uncomfortable.Not to long ago I found out he gave her $6,000.00 behind my back and lied.I confronted him and he swore to not lie again no matter how bad it was.So now I'm stuck up here with my love and his ex's family and her calling all the time.Not to mention,he told me the other day that her sister and her husband was moving on his land next to us he just bought.He asked for my opinion but I told him I didn't want the ex wife coming overall the time.She lives in Tennessee,when she comes down to visit without her boyfriend she stays with her sister.I'm just scared that were never going to have alone time even though we live in the country.Also,today he told me he has been thinking about something and wanted to talk to me.He said he ran into this guy the other day andhe ain't seen him in a few years and he wants to visit this weekend,Guess who it is????his other ex girlfriends brother.You tell me honestly,I mean he says he wants to marry me,done bought my kids new bedroom suites and other things and i got a 2005 pontiac out of it,his ex wife even told me they don't like eachother like that anymore.But why does he insist to have these people in our life?My mother could use the help of moving somewhere but he acts like he dont care he'd rather have the ex wife's family here,is it so maybe he can see her more or what does it seem like to you???????please respond so i can get someone elses p.o.view. Link to post Share on other sites
dan123 Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 i dont evne know what to say about that, but if one thing is for sure you have every right to be HAPPY and to be comfortable in life and your relationship. If your not, than the love of your life has a responsibility to fix what is making you not happy. If not than he is choosing those people over you. just my opinion. But nobody should live not happy or not comfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
MassiveAtom Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Originally posted by tendaloven23 You tell me honestly,I mean he says he wants to marry me,done bought my kids new bedroom suites and other things and i got a 2005 pontiac out of it,his ex wife even told me they don't like eachother like that anymore.But why does he insist to have these people in our life?My mother could use the help of moving somewhere but he acts like he dont care he'd rather have the ex wife's family here,is it so maybe he can see her more or what does it seem like to you???????please respond so i can get someone elses p.o.view. Quite honestly, I didn't understand most of this post. But what I think I've gleaned from it is that you feel threatened or at least uncomfortable with yous S.o. continuing to have his family in his life. We all handle things differently, some people NEVER want to see their exes again, some actually become DEAR FRIENDS over the lifetime thay will know each other. then some (very rarely) fall back in love. What is it about him having his good relationships in his life, no matter where they come from, that makes you uncomfortable? (suspicious?) Are you afraid that you'll be competing with his ex. Trust me, NEw love vs. ex-wife NO CONTEST, You win! I find the materialistic stuff a little distasteful, but that's just me. Who gives a bulls butt about a 2005 Pontiac? I'm sure if you ask his son, he's probably very happy that the usual nastiness that comes with divorce/breakups didn't take one of his parents out of the picture. You can insist on some boundaries, but don't EXPECT to have them honored. Again that's just me, I been burned like that. Discuss some ground rules for the household, and let him know that you are uneasy around these individuals. Introspect and find ways to cope with these things for you, if he indeed is ALL that, he'll support you through this by showing you his compassion for your feelings. MA Link to post Share on other sites
Author tendaloven23 Posted February 19, 2005 Author Share Posted February 19, 2005 thank you for your comments even though the second one is a bit distasteful himself and dont even understand his own words/ Link to post Share on other sites
MassiveAtom Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 Originally posted by tendaloven23 thank you for your comments even though the second one is a bit distasteful himself and dont even understand his own words/ Yeah, TL that happens here sometimes. You're in a community of people who sincerely WANT to help, and some who want something else. Just remember that we're all bringing our own experiences to the table and this should in no way replace the competent advice of a professional counsellor. There are some really wonderful people in this communtiy, and some rotten eggs. Take what you CAN use and apply it. Leave what you can't use right here as a testament to the fallability of all of us humans. I really wish you the best in your relationship. come back often and keep us posted on the progress. MA Link to post Share on other sites
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