Female Posted February 10, 2001 Share Posted February 10, 2001 I am to be moving in with this guy I love in a few weeks. Today when I saw him I asked him if he trusted me. Well huge mistake I don't know why i asked, except maybe for the fact that I am getting divorced over a trust issue. I need to give him an answer to hepl fix this. I do trust him completely and I have been trustworthy......... Please help, I am losing him fast........... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 10, 2001 Share Posted February 10, 2001 You need to explain to him simply why you asked the question. If he is too small minded to understand and overlook this after your very excellent explanation, he's certainly not worth worrying about. You have to understand that words, questions, conversation all have consequences, good and bad. You have to watch what you say. For my money, I will not remain with a women with whom I cannot have completely free discussions and, if I were a woman, I would not be around a man I could not communicate with freely. Of course, this presupposes tact, consideration and good manners accompany all communication. However, you have no choice here but to talk this out with him. If he is young, immature, classless and without much life experience, he may not have the depth to understand how you feel. Have this talk and be ready to take the consequences. If he's not immediately receptive to overlooking this, time always has a way of healing things. But you need to look at the overall picture here and decide if this is really the kind of guy you want to be around in the longrun...a guy you can't say things to without getting a radical response. Of course, he very well may grow up in time. Hang around!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Female Posted February 10, 2001 Share Posted February 10, 2001 Tony, Thank you for the advice. I just don't really know what to say to him, I want things to progress with this guy, I don't really know why I would ask a question like that........I don't know know why it came out of my mouth.......... he is actually order than I, around ten years. It's hard to explain something you said when you don't even know why you said it Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted February 10, 2001 Share Posted February 10, 2001 Sorry but I don't understand. Okay..you said you're getting divorced over a 'trust issue'....so right now, you're not yet divorced? When will your divorce be final? What caused your marriage breakup.....did you do something to lose your husband's trust? If so, what? Does the guy you're with now *know* the reasons for your past marriage breakup? Why did you feel the need to ask him if he trusted you? Did you suspect that maybe he didn't fully trust you? Why would you "lose him" all because of a question you asked? That seems a little extreme to me, don't you think? If you're going to 'lose' someone all because you asked a harmless question, wouldn't that indicate that you're relationship isn't all that stable? Wouldn't it also say something about your ability to communicate with each other? So you're moving in with him in a few weeks. Are you currently living with your husband or have you been living apart from your husband for some time now? (how long for?) Do you have children? Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
Female Posted February 10, 2001 Share Posted February 10, 2001 Sorry but I don't understand. Okay..you said you're getting divorced over a 'trust issue'....so right now, you're not yet divorced? Not yet When will your divorce be final? within a month or so What caused your marriage breakup.....did you do something to lose your husband's trust? If so, what? Nope, I found out my husband was gay Does the guy you're with now *know* the reasons for your past marriage breakup? YES Why did you feel the need to ask him if he trusted you? Did you suspect that maybe he didn't fully trust you? I don't really know. Why would you "lose him" all because of a question you asked? That seems a little extreme to me, don't you think? If you're going to 'lose' someone all because you asked a harmless question, wouldn't that indicate that you're relationship isn't all that stable? Wouldn't it also say something about your ability to communicate with each other? We are very honest wiht each other, I think he is more upset that I would ask him something like that when it is so close for us moving into together So you're moving in with him in a few weeks. Are you currently living with your husband or have you been living apart from your husband for some time now? (how long for?) living alone, about four months Do you have children? nope Link to post Share on other sites
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