oceanlove_gx Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Is love a kind of feeling or responsibility. This Valentin's Day my girlfriend dumped me and wanted me to be her elder brother, wow so funny. She was the one which i loved at my first sight, but she got a boyfriend that time. One day she gave me a message that her boyfriend had another girlfriend and she broke up with him, and i found my hope and opputunity there. I was so good to her and i really loved her. However, when she came back to her office after a vacation with me, her boyfriend came back to her and she said they still loved each other. So who am i then? She said she had no feeling of me, what am i going to do? Everything happened so fast like a hollywood movie, she said she was greatly moved by her former boyfriend cuze without her he was going to kill himself. But is that true? Are women so sensitive to that kind of jokes? I just want to be a good man for a warm family, responsible to make money for us, responsible to love the only my lover and never have relation with others, however, what do girls want ? I don't know Thanks for your advice there, it's my first time here, thanks, i'm still missing her~~ Link to post Share on other sites
HotCaliGirl Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 You just have to move on. Usually one person loves the other more in a relationship, leading to an end. You obviously have stronger feelings for her than she does for you and that is the worst thing that can happen, because you can't do anything to MAKE her feel for you. Love is a feeling and with it comes responsibility. But when there is no feeling for love, one does not feel the need to be responsible for the other's feelings...I hope you will get over her soon! That's very sad how it all went down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author oceanlove_gx Posted February 19, 2005 Author Share Posted February 19, 2005 tx hotcali, but the fact is it's really hard to find someone you love and who love you tooo, it's my trouble for several years, it's true. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 To be in love is not a feeling but a state of mind (or being) of each person. That's why 'love' is often unrequited. With it comes the active responsibility for a loved one. Concerning your ex: She went back to her ex because he threatened to kill himself. It shows that the both of them are not emotionally mature enough for a healthy relationship. You should not be guilt-tripped into a relationship, and her ex-bf should not act as if he were a slave to love. Possibly he is a slave to an addiction (her). An emotional mature (wo)man will not be guilt-tripped into a relationship. To be a good man, who takes care of your family you must keep your integrity. Even though it hurts a lot at the moment it means cutting her out of your life and move on. She seems emotionally immature. Accept life with a gentle smile, and you are bound to attract an emotionally healthy and mature woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author oceanlove_gx Posted February 19, 2005 Author Share Posted February 19, 2005 thanks, arthez. I strongly agree you, which i think a man should have integrity and responsible. But the fact is lots and lots of girls are more easily to be moved. I don't think her ex-bf is really good to her, and the threatening is just i trick, not true love, both her ex-bf and i don't think it's true, but my ex-gf believes it, that's the point. For a long time i don't know which women really want, and maybe women and women are different, but for the most time they are the same. The fact is she can't forget her ex-bf, she wanted me to substitute him, but can't, even when the ex-bf comes back to her. Is it? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 Well you gave one possibility, which seems highly likely. Bottom line is, she is not emotionally mature enough for a relationship with you. She cannot expect you to be her 'substitute-ex', as you should behave as someone who you are not. It would drain your energies, and lead to a lot of frustration on both sides. As long as she has not solved her problems and is not single, you better stay clear of her. I don't think you want a relationship with a fickle woman, or a woman without strength of character. And certainly not with a woman who has unresolved issues about her ex('s). Women differ as much as men. Some are extremely materialistic, some are totally not. Same holds for political views, moral views et cetera. If you have difficulty finding a suitable woman for yourself, you might reanalyze what you want from a relationship, and where to find a suitable woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author oceanlove_gx Posted February 19, 2005 Author Share Posted February 19, 2005 tx athez, my msn is may i contact u there, i am still in trouble cuze after all , that girl is my first time~~~ 2 years ago i got a girlfriend with love but not sex, but this time with sex but no love~~~ tx Link to post Share on other sites
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