kevinlovesbecky Posted July 2, 2014 Posted July 2, 2014 Ok so my name's Kevin. My mom's long childhood friend and the friends sister( cougar I'm falling for her name's becky) recently came on vacation to philly to stay with us. So since the first date we met at the airport I fell for her. Why u ask? I'm 21 she's 34 and looks like she's 25. Ever since she's been at my house she's always talking to me. Great eye contact, she's always smiling, when we a go out she sits next to me all the time 24/7 . I don't say anything and she smiles. I love her smile, laugh, voice, personality, up until a few days ago when we took a beach trip, she sat next to me and the trip was long on the way there and back, so she's never done it before. She laid her head on my shoulder put her hands in my lap . She wasn't tired. I know that. She smiled and asked if it was cool I said yes. The whole day at the beach I was with her. She wanted a lot of pics of everyone but she was always asking for pictures of us. She took ALOT. On the ride back she sat again with me. We got home took a shower etc. She's always dresing in tight tank tops and short shorts. When I have to run errands she always wants to come along. When we all go out she gets me little gifts as I do get her a lot of gifts too . Plz help me I don't know what to do and she's leaving soon. But she's coming back next year. But I'm going to guatemala in a few months and she wants me to stay with her. She has a great carrier, her own money, house. Etc. NOW DONT BE CRUEL GUYS OK BUT IM IN LOVE WITH HER. SHES BEAUTIFUL. I DONT CARE ABOUT THE AGE DIFFERENCE AND IT SEEMS SHE DOESNT CARE ABOUT AGE EITHER. should I tell her??? Help me pz
Assasda Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Naa, you shouldnt tell her anything. I never can understand why guys feel the urge to tell feelings. Anyway, Keep on doing what youre doing, and before she leaves tell her you hope to see her soon, or ask for her phone number 2
Baller25 Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 No 34 year old looks 25, I think the blood being sent to your eyes is being rerouted elsewhere — I think that applies to your brain as well brah. It sounds like she's just trying to befriend her friend's son and your immature ass is misunderstanding that completely. Add her on Facebook and see what happens. You need her to call all the shots until it's blatantly obvious that she's actually into a guy that can't even spell career. I never can understand why guys feel the urge to tell feelings. It's because of the all the rom-coms and lack of self-control. 6
haribogumsnickers Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Age difference is a big deal maybe not now in the short time you've spent together. But the timing doesn't help you either. Not enough time to see how things would go. For now, just like the other people advised, don't tell her you love her. Ask for her number or ask to add her on FB. Remember she's a coug. Resist the urge and don't expect anything.
todreaminblue Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 (edited) you don't rest your head on a guys shoulder unless there's something more...especially when it is in relation to someones mother friend of, or otherwise, the fact she asked you if you were cool with it to me, implies that she knows it could have made you uncomfortable....why would she need to ask that if she didn't know what she was doing...... i feel that age gaps need to have a sense of maturity behind them on both parties, a knowledge that the age gap isn't going to lessen and the associated stigma behind having an age gap relationship i suppose, would be the same as any sort of difference such as cultural and or race etc.......differences on how you handle or view things may become more apparent as time wears on...... i believe if you feel strongly about her, you should let her know, but, dont include love in that conversation, you want to get to know her better, say you feel for her as more than a friend and see how things go, get to know the lady behind the smile and personality, you said you appreciate,progress can be made from there.....find some common bonds ...you havent told me any so i dont even know if you have common bonds, likes or dislikes........building common areas of interests, values held, goals and aspirations for a future relationship ...sort of thing.....you have to have commonalities because age is out obviously..... ....dont go in with high hopes take one day at a time get to know more about her...i feel you know next to nohing about her really, you cant read her for one..that takes time and effort and it happens when you know someone better....... from what you have posted........and i hope it works out for you...i do believe age gaps can work with relationships but it takes effort......and understanding...and most of all a maturity that is higher on the younger side........deb Edited July 3, 2014 by todreaminblue 3
EmptyinNV Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Boy she is gonna chew you up and spit you out. Enjoy the ride, don't expect to wife her up though, I doubt she is about that life. 4
PogoStick Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Boy she is gonna chew you up and spit you out. Enjoy the ride, don't expect to wife her up though, I doubt she is about that life. Could be right on that one. But definitely enjoy the ride! Make a move and get her in bed before she leaves. Take it as far, and as long as you want. Nothing wrong with the age difference, except that you are in over your head.
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 My advice? F*ck the nay-sayers and GO FOR IT! You're legal and she's flirting and life is too short. Take it from a woman who's dating a man 13 years younger; ENJOY! 7
ja123 Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 My advice? F*ck the nay-sayers and GO FOR IT! You're legal and she's flirting and life is too short. Take it from a woman who's dating a man 13 years younger; ENJOY! Wow! I just started dating a man 13 years younger, too! I guess 13 is a lucky number, eh? 1
atmandu Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 Something that I may have missed, but not mentioned: What will your Mother think? No, really...what will she think of her long time friend and you? Is it worth putting a strain in your relationship with your Mother and between her and her friend? Do you have siblings? How will they feel? Your family is a strength to you (I'm assuming...if I'm incorrect please let me know) and shouldn't be tossed around like it's nothing. My first instinct is to say you should "hit that" but this is very dangerous. Options: a) Bang her and keep your **** together and to yourself (and hope she keeps hers). You will be blessed with awkward encounters and joyous memories of banging something crazy (unless she turned out to have a dick) b) Keep it friendly but with some distance, but don't make a move. Don't let her make a (overt sexual) move either. (If you let her make a move...you are passively choosing option a) ) c) Make a list of how she/someone could be manipulating you for any reason. Seriously. Consider the consequences of falling into someone's game. Assign a probability to each outcome. Then meditate on each. Act accordingly. d) Consider Marrying her -- be honest and REFLECT. If you think you love this women, then take things slow. It's much easier to talk to your Mother and others when you have intentions to build something long term. Damage will still be done to your Mom and friends relationship however. Remember that the first 6 months (or so) of a relationship are very different from everything after it (honeymoon phase is over)
Author kevinlovesbecky Posted July 3, 2014 Author Posted July 3, 2014 I don't know what to do. My gut is telling me to tell her I'm in love/ like her a lot. I'm not saying I'm in love tho. It's too soon and pushy I think. I feel stuck because I'm good looking Hispanic 21 year old and she's 35 looks very young and no I don't see her young in my eyes bcuz all the blood is mis i Nguyen my brain and going straight to my dick. No it's not. I actually don't really care for sex. I love her company. I love everything about her. We have the same likes and dislikes. OK AND NO SHE ISNT MY MOMS FRIEND!! SHES MY MOMS FRIEND SISTER who is also here on vacation. I told my mom how I feel about becky. She said son I know she looks young and beautiful. My own mother said go for it. I know she likes u bcuz she's always talking g about u when it at work and she likes to be in my room laying on my bed and pillow. I honestly think Im going to tell her and I want to see how it plays out.but then again she's leaving tomorrow to go back home. I have her on FB I have her cell. I have a whole bunch of selfies she's taken on my phone. I'm going to her house in a few months. Its all planned out. I'm convinced I should tell her. All the signs are there. My mom, also said she doesn't care if me and her friends sister become a thing. And no my mom isn't nut for saying that. She's cool. Becky has also said she wants a I'd. She's said I have good features, looks, genes. AM I ****ING NUTS TO THINK ME AND HER COULD WORK OUT? And we haven't kissed on the lips but she's always kissing me on the cheeks and I return the favor all the time. Well I lime her so I'm always giving he kisses on the cheek. THANK U EVERYONE FOR YOUR THOUGHTS AND SUGGESTIONS. I STILL DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO AND TIME IS NOT ON MY SIDE... SHES LEAVING.
MoreCoffee Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 The best advice I think is don't break out the flow charts and pie graphs, just smooch her when you're close and not in view of others. It doesn't have to movie quality, maybe just brush her lips and gauge her reaction. I have talked myself out of so many romantic situations it's ridiculous. Please don't make my mistake. You will kick yourself if you don't. A kiss will say everything much more eloquently. I don't know what to do. My gut is telling me to tell her I'm in love/ like her a lot. I'm not saying I'm in love tho. It's too soon and pushy I think. I feel stuck because I'm good looking Hispanic 21 year old and she's 35 looks very young and no I don't see her young in my eyes bcuz all the blood is mis i Nguyen my brain and going straight to my dick. No it's not. I actually don't really care for sex. I love her company. I love everything about her. We have the same likes and dislikes. OK AND NO SHE ISNT MY MOMS FRIEND!! SHES MY MOMS FRIEND SISTER who is also here on vacation. I told my mom how I feel about becky. She said son I know she looks young and beautiful. My own mother said go for it. I know she likes u bcuz she's always talking g about u when it at work and she likes to be in my room laying on my bed and pillow. I honestly think Im going to tell her and I want to see how it plays out.but then again she's leaving tomorrow to go back home. I have her on FB I have her cell. I have a whole bunch of selfies she's taken on my phone. I'm going to her house in a few months. Its all planned out. I'm convinced I should tell her. All the signs are there. My mom, also said she doesn't care if me and her friends sister become a thing. And no my mom isn't nut for saying that. She's cool. Becky has also said she wants a I'd. She's said I have good features, looks, genes. AM I ****ING NUTS TO THINK ME AND HER COULD WORK OUT? And we haven't kissed on the lips but she's always kissing me on the cheeks and I return the favor all the time. Well I lime her so I'm always giving he kisses on the cheek. THANK U EVERYONE FOR YOUR THOUGHTS AND SUGGESTIONS. I STILL DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO AND TIME IS NOT ON MY SIDE... SHES LEAVING. 3
ASG Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 No 34 year old looks 25, I think the blood being sent to your eyes is being rerouted elsewhere — I think that applies to your brain as well brah. It sounds like she's just trying to befriend her friend's son and your immature ass is misunderstanding that completely. Add her on Facebook and see what happens. You need her to call all the shots until it's blatantly obvious that she's actually into a guy that can't even spell career. It's because of the all the rom-coms and lack of self-control. I'm gonna assume you haven't been around many women in their 30's. I'm a couple of years shy of 34 but most people who don't know my age put me in the mid 20's range. Same goes for most of my friends. As for the OP, go for it! What's the harm?? You're both adults! 2
Baller25 Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 I'm gonna assume you haven't been around many women in their 30's. I'm a couple of years shy of 34 but most people who don't know my age put me in the mid 20's range. Same goes for most of my friends. As for the OP, go for it! What's the harm?? You're both adults! Everyone always say stuff like "she's 40 but looks 30" or how women always say "I'm xx years but people say I look xx". I understand that unlike men, a woman's attractiveness is very much tied to their age but It's all BS compliments or fake humble brags. I think at this point most women would be insulted if they were told that they look their age as if somehow everyone looks younger than they are, which is impossible by definition. Girls in their mid-twenties don't have crows feet, so that's the huge giveaway when it comes to older women. The OP saying that the woman is 34 but looks 25 is like saying that a 34 year old bald guy looks 25 — there is almost no way because very few guys under 30 lose their hair and even then being bald on its own makes you look 35+.
thefooloftheyear Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 Gotta love the hypocrisy.... If a guy does it...the women call him a cradle robber, a creep. a predator, etc.. and call the girl names like "she has daddy issues".or that she is naive and stupid..etc... When they(women) do it...Its all high fives, hats and noisemakers...sheesh.... If I had a dollar for every time a woman said she looks younger than she is, id never work another day in my life..Ive never met a woman in my life that didnt look at least her age or older...Maybe J-Lo or Cindy Crawford...But I never met them.. TFY 2
preraph Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 I dated a guy 21 when I was 30-something but quickly realized he was way too immature for me. She may look 25, but she's 34, and there's a world of difference. But the main thing is, you have to respect some boundaries -- and the boundary both you and she need to respect here is that she's more or less your mother's friend. Your mother would have a cow if she found out and it would probably ruin her friendship with both women. So please respect that and just stay out of it. Out of a gazillion women in the world, there is no reason to focus on this one.
Baller25 Posted July 4, 2014 Posted July 4, 2014 Out of a gazillion women in the world, there is no reason to focus on this one. I don't think this guy does well with women which is why he doesn't see it the way you do. To him this is the only girl, I mean woman, he can get.
ASG Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 Everyone always say stuff like "she's 40 but looks 30" or how women always say "I'm xx years but people say I look xx". I understand that unlike men, a woman's attractiveness is very much tied to their age but It's all BS compliments or fake humble brags. I think at this point most women would be insulted if they were told that they look their age as if somehow everyone looks younger than they are, which is impossible by definition. Girls in their mid-twenties don't have crows feet, so that's the huge giveaway when it comes to older women. The OP saying that the woman is 34 but looks 25 is like saying that a 34 year old bald guy looks 25 — there is almost no way because very few guys under 30 lose their hair and even then being bald on its own makes you look 35+. Er... I don't have crows feet... That does not and should not happen when you're in your 30s! Certainly not if you take any care of your skin! I'm not offended if people think I'm my age. Not at all! I actually get really irked when I'm asked for ID to buy alcohol at the supermarket, since I'm CLEARLY over 18. And... do you know anything about baldness? Because it happens in your early 20s! My cousin has been bald since he was 21. As have all my other bald friends. By 25, they were well and truly bald! A receding hair line will happen later in life, but that's not baldness. You sound really young... 1
kaylan Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 Gotta love the hypocrisy.... If a guy does it...the women call him a cradle robber, a creep. a predator, etc.. and call the girl names like "she has daddy issues".or that she is naive and stupid..etc... When they(women) do it...Its all high fives, hats and noisemakers...sheesh.... If I had a dollar for every time a woman said she looks younger than she is, id never work another day in my life..Ive never met a woman in my life that didnt look at least her age or older...Maybe J-Lo or Cindy Crawford...But I never met them.. TFY Guys do the same thing. Just look at the hater above your post trying to tell someone how old they look and seeming to get bothered that some women actually do look younger than their age, especially asian and black women in my experience. 3
Trimmer Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 But the main thing is, you have to respect some boundaries -- and the boundary both you and she need to respect here is that she's more or less your mother's friend. Your mother would have a cow if she found out and it would probably ruin her friendship with both women. Already asked and answered - mom is fine with it. So please respect that and just stay out of it. Out of a gazillion women in the world, there is no reason to focus on this one. Except that the other "gazillion" are not currently and actively showing interest in the OP, and "this one" is. That is usually considered a reason. Incidentally all this argument about how credible it might be that she could be 34 and look mid-20's - am I the only one who sees this as completely irrelevant to the topic? She's obviously interested in him, he's obviously interested in her, and the timeline is limited. How she looks doesn't have any bearing on that. 3
hotpotato Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 It's not like she's 67. Go for it! I wouldn't say I love you yet. Baby steps, baby steps. Gotta love the hypocrisy.... If a guy does it...the women call him a cradle robber, a creep. a predator, etc.. and call the girl names like "she has daddy issues".or that she is naive and stupid..etc... When they(women) do it...Its all high fives, hats and noisemakers...sheesh.... If I had a dollar for every time a woman said she looks younger than she is, id never work another day in my life..Ive never met a woman in my life that didnt look at least her age or older...Maybe J-Lo or Cindy Crawford...But I never met them.. TFY Lol oh really? I'm 27 and people can't believe how old I am. If I dress right, I am mistaken for a child. I look younger now than I did when I was a teen because of my lifestyle. I'm cool with age differences to a degree. Thirteen years isn't much. My ex is about 17 years older than me. 1
hotpotato Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 Guys do the same thing. Just look at the hater above your post trying to tell someone how old they look and seeming to get bothered that some women actually do look younger than their age, especially asian and black women in my experience. Yep. There are many women who look young, especially ethnic women. No 34 year old looks 25, I think the blood being sent to your eyes is being rerouted elsewhere — I think that applies to your brain as well brah. It sounds like she's just trying to befriend her friend's son and your immature ass is misunderstanding that completely. Add her on Facebook and see what happens. You need her to call all the shots until it's blatantly obvious that she's actually into a guy that can't even spell career. It's because of the all the rom-coms and lack of self-control. Elsa Pataky? Don't listen to guys like this. On LS, women expire when they are 35, so it's utterly unbelievable that any woman that old could look so young. 1
ktya Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 Wow! I just started dating a man 13 years younger, too! I guess 13 is a lucky number, eh? Haha. I got you both made. My new FB is 18 years younger. 1
RonaldS Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 You're not in love , but you should be banging her. 1
Author kevinlovesbecky Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 Ok so we hung out. We kissed. Yeah we did more than kiss and feel eachother. So she said she really×3 liked me i told her i did too. So we took her sister/ MY MOMS FRIEND and her to tje airport. We kissed. We held eachother until she had to board her flight. We promised t k text, talk, skype. We have a common interest in horoscopes and im a scorpio and shes a gemini. We r compatible. So she left and we talked on the phone for hours and skyped alot too. For a weeks. I jumped the gun and i told her i fell in love with her. She replied i know babe me too but i was embarrassed and i didnt talk to her for 2 weeks. She would make statuses saying come back with my initials. She also left voicemails. I shut down. Im mysterious and she loves that. She said she read my life horoscope and knew that i shut down etc. Ok so i love her. She said she has evaluated her past relationships and im very mature. Etc she asked me to put a baby in her. Before she left. So thats why i said i love u and she knew that the whole time i didnt talk to her it was bcuz i felt dumb. It was foolish and childish of me to say it but come on she wants to get married. Wants a kid by me. Keep in mind my mother is fine with us dating. We have her blessing. Her sisters too. So i just need advice on what i should do. She seems very happy, we talk everynight for hours. Time flys when were on the phone or when we skype. I have money. A great job, a streetbike. I go to school. Whats missing is her. She"ll be back in a few months to see me this time alone. And shes staying here 6 months. and when shr leaves i will leave with her for 6 months. Tickets r bought. Moms cool with it. 2 more weeks and she"ll know if shes pregnant. If not. Im definetly going to put a kid inside her for sure. She asked me this bcuz shes 34 and she believes all that bull**** about babys bieng born woth with special needs. Shes beautiful. Im handswe will make one great lookibg kid. Haha. So i need advice. Am i doing the right thing? I want opinions not advice lol. And dont say ur too young or shes just using u bcuz she isnt. We dont care about age.
Recommended Posts