sgirl728 Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 If you have been cheating on your husband with more than one man or have had several affairs and then you find out your husband is has been having a physcial and emotional for a year and a half, what would you do?? Would you try to work on the marriage or kick him to the curb? Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Why would the woman care that her husband is having an emotional and physical affair if she's been boinking several men on the side? I hardly think that either person is in the position to "kick anyone to the curb". Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Pocky, you're not a MOW are you? Well, anyway, I agree with you.Would you try to work on the marriage or kick him to the curb?What's the matter? You can do what you want, but when your husband indulges, you get jealous.....? I hardly see where that's a fair arrangement, (if there is such a thing with infidelity). Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 I agree with Pocky. Makes NO sense...Why try and save a marriage if both spouses are cheating?? Unless it comes down to control and ego. It's okay for ME but not YOU kinda deal. Work on the marriage if BOTH are willing to stop cheating and really be together. Otherwise there just is no point. I'm not a MOW, I just wanted to jump in and say what I though about it. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 I can understand the 'logic' behind it. A wayward person who intends to cheat but doesn't intend to end the marriage lures themselves into a sense of security - knowing that cheating doesn't mean that they are going anywhere and that they still love the spouse even though they are cheating on them. But... if the other spouse starts cheating too, then that 'marriage security blanket' is threatened. You can know and be comfortable with your own motives, but you can never really know the motives of another person. You feel that your cheating doesn't affect how you feel about your spouse, but you don't know if the spouse is cheating on you with the same amount of 'security' about it. Even though you cheat with no intention of divorce, you wonder - is your husband doing it because he just wants sex? Is he going to divorce me? So, what to do? You'll have to decide first and foremost if you want to divorce or stay married. If you do want to stay married, then you'll want to set up heavy duty marriage counseling and decide what direction to take your marriage. It may not be possible to make it work 'traditionally' after being so far gone on both sides, but maybe you'll be able to do some serious reconstruction or decide to go with an open marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Originally posted by Moose Pocky, you're not a MOW are you? I'm not even sure MOW stands for. Married other woman? I generally just ignore the "only reply if" statements. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sgirl728 Posted February 18, 2005 Author Share Posted February 18, 2005 Thanks for the replys, but this actually isn't me, I'm not even married. I'm just curious about what others would do if this were their situation... Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 I'm not a MOW either, and while I don't agree with the situation I can understand it to a certain extent. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Originally posted by sgirl728 Thanks for the replys, but this actually isn't me, I'm not even married. I'm just curious about what others would do if this were their situation... Okay, sure. Originally posted by sgirl728 Just need advice on how to move on from my MM. I work with him and we work only a few feet away from each other so it is impossible to stay away from him. I'm completely in love with him too, but I feel like he will never be able to leave his wife. She is a liar and a cheat and has cheated on him numerous times and that is what has lead to our affair, but he has still been unable to leave her. We have been together for almost a year and a half now. I have since left my husband and divorced (he had also cheated on me numerous times). I know it is time for me to move on, but so far because I am completely in love with him, I have been unable to do so and it is tearing me apart....any advice??? (this was posted 11/28/04) You can atleast be honest with us. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Ah, now that is a very interesting approach to asking the age old question "Will my MM ever leave his wife"? Link to post Share on other sites
izzybelle Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 hmmmmm maybe she's not referring to herself. perhaps it is about someone else. she does say in the quote that she left her H. so..... anyway, i've always wondered this about my exMM and his W since i'm pretty dang sure she was stepping out as well! sounds like a solid basis for a good marriage to me! unless it's an open marriage....what's the point? but then again, some people believe that a marriage should be saved no matter how miserable they make each other. their choice! Link to post Share on other sites
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