22 year old Transgender girl! Hot Italian man is tempting me! HUGE MESS

[illuminaughty]

Hello everyone so I am a transgender female. I am 22 years old and I started taking hormones in October 2013 so my body is not fully feminized yet.

 

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since October 2012 and to make a long story short he has an illness called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. So he always takes out his anger on me and can be really emotionally abusive and we have had issues. But deep down inside I know he loves me. I honestly only stay with him because I depend on him for certain things and because it's much better being with him than being alone.

 

I feel lately even though our sex life has been better than ever his physical affection is just not doing it. As is I don't get butterflies and excited or happy being touched by him or kissed by him anymore. I know this fades with time but I feel like I have lost my attraction to him.

 

So I lost my virginity to him and have only ever been sexually involved with him.

 

In a HUGE out of character move on July 1st I made an ad on craigslist of all places just emotionally vomiting about the cuddle buddy that I was looking for that might turn into more. I made it very clear I didn't want just a sexual relationship and I was looking for a deep connection.

 

Honestly I am even confused what I am looking for.

 

But I of course got many replies of creepy men, then this one extremely handsome 27 year old Italian man sent me an email. I instantly had this weird butterfly reaction.

 

We exchanged photos and everything and I know he is who is says.

 

So he told me he was attached and my Ad said I was as well.

 

Now I am finding myself extremely attracted to him but I am catching feelings already and I am scared and confused.

 

He has made a few sexual comments, but mostly we have been talking ALL DAY long about our lives and issues we have dealt with. He even told me about him being sexually abused and he said I was the 2nd person he's ever told. Our conversations have been very personal.

 

I am not a total fool, we met on craigslist 2 days ago I know.

 

But is this typical with someone who is just going to probably use me for sex? I would really like to eventually be with him, we have so many things in common like anxiety issues and depression.

 

I have never done any of this before, so I am not sure if he actually really might like me in a possible boyfriend girlfriend way.

 

Maybe I am just kidding myself to make myself feel better but wouldn't he just be talking about sex and sending dick pics and asking for dirty pics from me and ignoring me basically otherwise if all he wanted was sex? And not telling me such personal things about himself and his life?

 

Also he has to always leave at like 9 or 10 when his girlfriend tells him to come to bed and he dosen't want us to get caught talking.

 

I have been sitting here FUMING thinking about how he is laying in bed with another woman while we are talking so intimately and he is making me really really like him

 

Can I have some advice please? I am so emotionally charged right now about this

 

Edit: I forgot to add he said that him and his GF have been together 2 years in May and that he is stressed partially because they are fighting all the time about stupid things. Isn't that a good sign? I feel so terrible saying that but I really like him already

Edited July 3, 2014 by illuminaughty

[Hope Shimmers]

Hello everyone so I am a transgender female. I am 22 years old and I started taking hormones in October 2013 so my body is not fully feminized yet.

 

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since October 2012 and to make a long story short he has an illness called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. So he always takes out his anger on me and can be really emotionally abusive and we have had issues. But deep down inside I know he loves me. I honestly only stay with him because I depend on him for certain things and because it's much better being with him than being alone.

 

I feel lately even though our sex life has been better than ever his physical affection is just not doing it. As is I don't get butterflies and excited or happy being touched by him or kissed by him anymore. I know this fades with time but I feel like I have lost my attraction to him.

 

So I lost my virginity to him and have only ever been sexually involved with him.

 

In a HUGE out of character move on July 1st I made an ad on craigslist of all places just emotionally vomiting about the cuddle buddy that I was looking for that might turn into more. I made it very clear I didn't want just a sexual relationship and I was looking for a deep connection.

 

Honestly I am even confused what I am looking for.

 

But I of course got many replies of creepy men, then this one extremely handsome 27 year old Italian man sent me an email. I instantly had this weird butterfly reaction.

 

We exchanged photos and everything and I know he is who is says.

 

So he told me he was attached and my Ad said I was as well.

 

Now I am finding myself extremely attracted to him but I am catching feelings already and I am scared and confused.

 

He has made a few sexual comments, but mostly we have been talking ALL DAY long about our lives and issues we have dealt with. He even told me about him being sexually abused and he said I was the 2nd person he's ever told. Our conversations have been very personal.

 

I am not a total fool, we met on craigslist 2 days ago I know.

 

But is this typical with someone who is just going to probably use me for sex? I would really like to eventually be with him, we have so many things in common like anxiety issues and depression.

 

I have never done any of this before, so I am not sure if he actually really might like me in a possible boyfriend girlfriend way.

 

Maybe I am just kidding myself to make myself feel better but wouldn't he just be talking about sex and sending dick pics and asking for dirty pics from me and ignoring me basically otherwise if all he wanted was sex? And not telling me such personal things about himself and his life?

 

Also he has to always leave at like 9 or 10 when his girlfriend tells him to come to bed and he dosen't want us to get caught talking.

 

I have been sitting here FUMING thinking about how he is laying in bed with another woman while we are talking so intimately and he is making me really really like him

 

Can I have some advice please? I am so emotionally charged right now about this

 

Wow, you are 'fuming' that he is with someone else after only two days of communication from a craiglist ad? Remember this feeling and how much it might be multiplied over and over again if you get involved further.

 

You are using the wrong avenue to meet someone for a long-term serious relationship. As for what this guy wants from you, who knows. There is no rule book for how people respond to craigslist ads. He may be telling the truth but it's more likely he's playing games.

 

Did you tell this man that you are transgender? I hope so.

 

I think that you were wrong to seek another man for a "cuddle buddy and more" when you have a partner in your life. You are setting yourself up for a huge amount of trouble... end your current relationship because it isn't meeting your needs and isn't fair to your partner.

 

I wish you the best!

[illuminaughty]

Wow, you are 'fuming' that he is with someone else after only two days of communication from a craiglist ad? Remember this feeling and how much it might be multiplied over and over again if you get involved further.

 

You are using the wrong avenue to meet someone for a long-term serious relationship. As for what this guy wants from you, who knows. There is no rule book for how people respond to craigslist ads. He may be telling the truth but it's more likely he's playing games.

 

Did you tell this man that you are transgender? I hope so.

 

I think that you were wrong to seek another man for a "cuddle buddy and more" when you have a partner in your life. You are setting yourself up for a huge amount of trouble... end your current relationship because it isn't meeting your needs and isn't fair to your partner.

 

I wish you the best!

 

Thank you for the reply!

 

The title of my craigslist ad was " Pre Op Trans girl" and we have talked a lot about it he certainly knows, I would never keep that from someone.

 

I can't leave my boyfriend, it's really complicated.

 

Also ok I really don't think it's possible to make up so many things about your life though. It comes off as sincere and the way he was talking about his anxiety with me, as a sufferer myself the terms he was using lets me know he was being real.

 

I know it sounds crazy and but I think I would rather have him however I can than not at all.

 

Meeting him will answer many questions, I just hope maybe I will make him leave her.

 

Obviously there is a reason he contacted me and is speaking to me so intimately?

[Lernaean_Hydra]

You met on Craigslist, he already has a girlfriend and he's sneaking around talking to you....what do you really expect from him and how do you honestly think this will end??

 

I mean lets be real here, you are a pre-op transgender woman who took to a site known to cater to people with certain "proclivities" under the guise of looking for a "cuddle buddy" do you really think he's out for anything but secret sex?

[illuminaughty]

You met on Craigslist, he already has a girlfriend and he's sneaking around talking to you....what do you really expect from him and how do you honestly think this will end??

 

I mean lets be real here, you are a pre-op transgender woman who took to a site known to cater to people with certain "proclivities" under the guise of looking for a "cuddle buddy" do you really think he's out for anything but secret sex?

 

Ok yeah that's why I am asking.

 

But being a pro op transgender woman itself does not just make me an automatic sex object, men date and love transgender women penis or not you know that right?

 

The way you worded that comment was you think I was using it as a "hook" for men when really it was about being honest.

 

So I guess all of this talk really means absolutely nothing then?

 

Telling me such things so quickly? I feel he is emotionally cheating as well and for a reason and no one is saying it.

 

If he was JUST talking for sexret sex like you say, why would he really tell me anything?

 

Wouldn't he just send pics of his penis and talk really gross to me any time he did text me?

 

He keeps saying things like all he can think about is me, and he can't stop smiling from talking to me and a whole bunch of other stuff.

 

I know you can just say that to draw me in but I don't know this seems different...

[violet1]

Talk is cheap! He might be telling you a few personal things about himself, but that does not mean you know him or that he will leave her for you. For some people, they like to get to know someone before he or she jumps into sex. Getting to know you first doesn't mean he's not planning on using you for sex. He might be curious of what's like to be with a transgender person. Or he might have a fetish. There are some strange people in this world we live in. It's hard to say, but remember it's just the new attention, anticipation, and excitement that has you so high right now.

 

I met my exMM online so I know exactly how you're feeling right now. You're on cloud 9 right? I strongly suggest you take a step back and think things through very carefully. Cheating will not only destroy your BF, but it will destroy you too. You will experience the awful hot and colds. It's a roller coaster ride with more lows than highs.

 

If you're truly unhappy in your relationship than you need to sit down with your BF and tell him how you feel. If you don't feel it can be fixed than start making plans to get out. Are you in therapy? It concerns me that you'd rather be in an unhappy relationship than alone. Take care of yourself and be very careful if you choose to meet this man. Best wishes!

[Lernaean_Hydra]

Ok yeah that's why I am asking.

 

But being a pro op transgender woman itself does not just make me an automatic sex object, men date and love transgender women penis or not you know that right?

 

Honey, I have several pre and post op transmen and transwomen friends. I know how people can fall in love with whomever. However I also know how the game goes. No, being pre-op in and of itself doesn't make you a sex object.....but being a pre-op gal AND being on Craigslist sure as hell does..

 

 

 

So I guess all of this talk really means absolutely nothing then?

 

Telling me such things so quickly? I feel he is emotionally cheating as well and for a reason and no one is saying it.

You seem dead set on believing just because he claims he's being open and honest with you that must be the case. If you don't want to hear opposing opinions, so be it but I'm not here to lie to you.

 

If he was JUST talking for secret sex like you say, why would he really tell me anything?

 

Wouldn't he just send pics of his penis and talk really gross to me any time he did text me?

 

He keeps saying things like all he can think about is me, and he can't stop smiling from talking to me and a whole bunch of other stuff.

 

I know you can just say that to draw me in but I don't know this seems different...

Guys who are just looking for an easy lay don't always appear so sex crazed and stupid. A skilled manipulator will "open up" to you or even shy away from mentioning sex very much if at all in order to throw you off your guard.

 

My thoughts? His big plan is to secretly woo you and lull you into a false sense of whatever in order to sleep with you on the side. After your first few rolls in the hay he'll give you some line about his family/friends/girlfriend and how he just has to stay with her to "keep up appearances" but feed you a ton of lines about how he "really wants to be with YOU". But of course he can't because of circumstances/finances/whatever.

 

This is all of course based on the assumption his girlfriend was born female. Why? Because it sounds like he has a fetish and uses Craigslist to indulge in it. I mean how else would an average guy just so happen to stumble upon a post from a lonely, vulnerable pre-op gal? And not only that, but then engage her in intimate conversation behind his girlfriend's back?

 

Hell, lets set your transition aside for a moment and really look at the facts here. You are a woman talking to a man she met online who has told her upfront he already has a girlfriend whom he lives with. Have a bit more respect for yourself than to play the role of other woman to any man for god's sake!

Edited July 3, 2014 by Lernaean_Hydra

[cocorico]

Add into the mix this potent cocktail of hormones you've been taking these past eight months... Chances are that between your relationship concerns, your emotional adjustments to your changing body, and the hormonal havoc, you're not best placed to make rational, sensible, sober decisions you'd be proud of right now. You're 22 - it's a perfect age for living dangerously and making mistakes of the kind you can chuckle about when you're an old lady, but what you don't need is to turn your entire world into an emotional maelstrom during a period when you're facing other radical changes - to your body, your social and legal identities - when stability and security are generally needed.

 

You say you "can't leave your BF" - but involving yourself with another man might make that decision for you. Your BF may not tolerate that! and you may find yourself ejected from your R, with the Italian Guy no longer interested either. If you can't afford to leave your BF - for whatever reasons - then don't put that R at risk by starting a new one in parallel.