Has anybody experienced emotional/mental abuse?

[Georgia2014]

I have and then it got physical.

You don't get over it, you get out of it. Fast!

 

Best of luck!

 

I've been in that type of abuse. You get out of it. You are wrong saying you don't get over it. Once you are out of the abusive relationship you then need to heal from it. It is a long process if you put up with the abuse for months like I did. I am still recovering from it 2 years later. It was intense night and day emotional abuse I put up with for 6 months that did turn physical.

[Zeurich]

I'm out of it now. He actually has grabbed me, pulled my hair , pushed me and punched me in like my legs and back once so I would considered it physical as well. (I never told anyone about that) thank god I'm out of that.

 

Yes my ex was that sort of. But more than physically he was bullying, controlling my phone via network some sort of system, log in to my email and sending dirty email to my friends working colleague such manipulative stuff.Collecting my passwords when we were using one PC at home, using my credit card for porn films oh completely disgusting, I got out of those also from him too... now I live in peace and harmony honest to say

[saz123]

Would manipulating, mind games and being controlled be considered emotional and mental abuse? If so how do you get over it?

 

Yes it would. Currently experiencing all of that now. It's slowly turning physical though.

[Mirages]

Ahh, take it long enough it will change you. I have time in the service, saw people die. I was told it would change me. Truth is, my wife of a decade and a half, did more damage to me than any of that. I recommend time-frame departure plans. For me, married with kids, we saw several MC's and it was clearly a non-helper. They saw me at the large, tough, solid thinking guy, and did not believe fully that she was a full-scale abuser. Unfortunately the divorce courts were less than perfect either. Personal policy: collected no evidence, did no surveillance, out of respect. That was noble, but unhelpful. The list below was good, highlighted points matched my situation.

 

I cannot stress enough that my friends 15 years ago told me with confidence "get out." I was late, but I did. Don't sit around waiting for a rainbow.

 

• Threats of violence or abandonment
  
• Intentionally frightening
  
• Making an individual fear that they will not receive the food or care they need
  
• Lying
  
• Failing to check allegations of abuse against them
  
• Making derogative or slanderous statements about an individual to others
  
• Socially isolating an individual, failing to let them have visitors
  
• Withholding important information
  
• Demeaning an individual because of the language they speak
  
• Intentionally misinterpreting traditional practices
  
• Repeatedly raising the issue of death
  
• Telling an individual that they are too much trouble
  
• Ignoring or excessively criticizing
  
• Being over-familiar and disrespectful
  
• Unreasonably ordering an individual around; treating an individual like a servant or child
  

[carhill]

I'm out of it now. He actually has grabbed me, pulled my hair , pushed me and punched me in like my legs and back once so I would considered it physical as well. (I never told anyone about that) thank god I'm out of that.

My sympathies. That guy deserved some alone time with men in the big house (jail). Here's the issue....once he makes a move like that, every emotional or mental maneuver is colored by the flavor of that battery and its effects on the victim.

 

Over time, especially if the approach is subtle, one can become accustomed to such abuse and even come to see it as normal.

 

As to your question, yep I have and it occurred most markedly while I was caregiving and in a weakened emotional state. TBH, getting into MC, as well as joining LS, straightened me out. At this juncture, I hold no ill will towards my exW; she was merely using the only weapon she had available to deal with something she now admits she would have dealt with completely differently. People do what they know. I was actually no saint either, 'getting back' by having an open affair. In the battle to see who could care the least, we both lost.

 

Since you're out, good on you. In time, and interacting with people who don't treat you like your ex did, things will settle out. If there are triggers, accept them as part of an imperfect life and canaries to look at things, and the person who triggered you, more closely.