tide Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Well here's my story...I met this girl through mutual friends when I went to Vegas. Shes from Fresno and Im from Hawaii. We started trading emails and hit it off greatly. We started getting serious, and started a LDR. Well its been going good, till a few days ago. She hasnt really called me back, and when I call her and she answers, we talk for a few minutes then she says shes gotta go and she'll call me back. But she doesnt. She doesnt really respond to my messages on Yahoo or hardly comes on. But im thinking maybe its because she's really been busy with work and school, and recently her dog got injured. The dog is gonna have surgery Next week, and the bill is pretty hefty. Do you think it could be shes just really stressed and needs space to deal with these issues? It hurts me that she doesnt really talk to me as much in the past few days, but it seems like I might be just overanalyzing things. Shes told me that if she met someone shed be honest and tell me so, and shes been honest. So should I worry or stop being a worrywart? Thanks for reading this Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Maybe its not a matter of her meeting someone, its just a matter of her putting distance between you in general. I can understand being busy, and I can understand being worried over a well-loved pet being injured - but unless she's the type who normally withdraws from everyone under pressure then you can be assured that she's withdrawing from you specifically, and it has very little to do with anything other than the fact that she wants to move on and is putting some distance between you to make it easier. You won't know, though - unless you let her know how you feel and ask her what is really going on: (remember, calm and logical - not angry or defensive) "I understand you have a lot going on, but I get the idea that you are putting distance between us (list your reasons here). Are you thinking about breaking up?" If she gets overly defensive, angry, gives you a bunch of "feel sorry for me" excuses, or evades the question then you'll pretty much know your answer. Listen to your gut when you get her reaction. A lot of time when people are on the way out, they'll turn any questions back on the person asking - telling them that they are 'paranoid' or 'unreasonable' or that they are 'smothering' them, pretty much anything that would make them the victim, and give them more reasons to justify to themselves why they are leaving. Like I said though, you won't know til you ask. If she is the type of person for whom withdrawal is normal under stress, then it could just be a coping mechanism. Just play it calm and logical and see if you can get to the bottom of it. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 Ask her if she wants to proceed with the LDR. If she says 'yes' then let her know that you've noticed a chnage of attitude and what the reason might be. If she says everything is just fine then let it rest for while. Maybe she has certain expectations from you and uses the old tactic to make you take certain steps. Maybe she wants to try and live with you. Or she could just be tired of online dating. If that is the case, let her do her own stuff; she will start missing you soon enough. Howvever if she wants to break up for whatever reason, but is not sure about it, you don't need to push her. You will find out what's going on sooner or later. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts