mb88 Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 I wonder how many break-ups could have been/be avoided and how many relationships could have been/be saved if people changed their conception of love and their expectations of their partner and a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Probably a lot. But the thing is people don't change & very few think rationally when they are upset / emotional. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mb88 Posted July 5, 2014 Author Share Posted July 5, 2014 I think it depends on your conception of 'love' and has it grown or changed throughout your life time? (1) 14 Years old - infatuated with the girl next door. Kissed her. Asked her out. Rejection. It hurt. (2) 17 Years old - infatuated (beyond words, beyond comprehension and beyond explanation) with a girl in school - whom I always continued to be intensely attracted to - became friends and she eventually rejected me. That hurt a lot. (3) 18 Years old - really really liked a girl I met after I started college. Got to know her, became very close friends. We became an item for a short time. Rejection. Hurt a bit. (4) 19 Years old - started to fall for a very close friend (whom I was never attracted to) and became very close. Her feelings were reciprocated. Shortly after - dumped for ex-boyfriend. (5) 19 Years old - Met another girl in college, attractive and intelligent and we got on great. She asked me out. Dated briefly before she dumped me. Hurt a teeny bit. (6) 20 Years old - strangely, just fell into a relationship with a nice girl I met at the gym one day. Wasn't really attracted to her but she was just nice and genuine. Ended up having an extremely serious and intense relationship for about 3 and half years. I broke up with her because I ''fell out of love'' and we grew apart. It took me nine months to recover from the heartbreak and realise it was what's known as GIGS and this caused me to end it. On reflection, 6 years later, I was never attracted to her like I was to other women, and we lacked a connection on some level. (7) 25 Years old - Faith is not without a sense of irony. Girl number (2) [above!!] and I hit it off in a bar one night and after 4 months of dating decided to enter a relationship. The first 6 months were intense and I have never felt such a strong physical and intimate connection with anyone as I did with her. About 4 weeks ago, after a very intense year in work, and a bout of depression, anxiety and over-analysis on my behalf - I broke up with her: why? I actually don't know. And here I am. Which one's have I loved? In a way, all of them. But in very different ways. Girl [6] was a love that was intensely compassionate and caring (perhaps too much for my age and maturity at the time) but it lacked the consistent physical intimacy and attraction. Girl [7] was a love that was a very deep in romantic, physical and intimate involvement but I didn't open up enough in other areas and allow love to flourish. That's what 12 years and 7 girls has taught me. Love is effort. Love is self-sacrifice. Love is the desire to understand your partner. Love is the willingness to be vulnerable in yourself. Love is as love does. Love is a choice. I posted this in a reply to another thread. I suppose, what I'm getting at is that my conception of 'love' and my expectations of partners and relationships has evolved. And I'm beginning to think of things differently. Link to post Share on other sites
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