Gallaxia Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 I've hit a bit of a dating dry spell while with a FWB so I am not seeing anyone else. He doesn't know this or at least it wasn't an issue that he brought with me. The other day a guy approached me with a terrible & original pick up line , I didn't mention what was said but I made a joke about using a pick up line and how cheesy it was and now my FWB guy is super upset, acting distant and accused me of seeing other people. Before this (I thought) we were fine- as FWBs! ... but we were pretty comfortable enough to be acting almost like bf/gf or at least really good friends even though we are FWB. I really like him so I'm starting to get pissed because I didn't cheat on him. I can't control who approaches me. Why is he getting jealous? Link to post Share on other sites
MrMeh Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 First, there is no cheating here since you aren't together. Second, this guy is obviously insecure if he is simply upset that another guy hit on you. I only warn you that starting a relationship a guy with these issues isn't preferred. Link to post Share on other sites
marcjb Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 When will people understand that a FWB "relationship" will not work out 99% of the time because there will always be at least one person with feelings... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
MikeyBe Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 Why is he getting jealous? Because you guys aren't FWB. Change that to Guy I'm Dating, Guy I'm Seeing, Guy I'm Sleeping With and re-ask yourself the same question. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 When will people understand that a FWB "relationship" will not work out 99% of the time because there will always be at least one person with feelings... I just hope if they keep making awful movies about the subject SOMEBODY will get the message. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gallaxia Posted July 5, 2014 Author Share Posted July 5, 2014 (edited) Because you guys aren't FWB. Change that to Guy I'm Dating, Guy I'm Seeing, Guy I'm Sleeping With and re-ask yourself the same question. Wait, what? We never discussed exclusivity. Was I suppose to just assume we were in a relationship? Or did I misunderstand what you meant? Have things in the dating world changed that much? Now I'm really confused. Edited July 5, 2014 by Gallaxia Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 Wait, what? We never discussed exclusivity. Was I suppose to just assume we were in a relationship? Or did I misunderstand what you meant? Have things in the dating world changed that much? Now I'm really confused. This is kind of why friends should not bone each other. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gallaxia Posted July 5, 2014 Author Share Posted July 5, 2014 Oh. Well, we were never friends before hand. We were actually a ONS that morphed into a FWB... Maybe I had missed some signs? Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 It sounds to me like you want more and you are hoping that his reaction meant that he wants more. He most likely doesn't. Men are territorial especially when they are sleeping with someone. It's all to do with ego and doesn't mean that he has feelings for you. Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 Sigh Rule number one of having sex in non exclusive relationships is to not bring up other people of the opposite sex other than platonic friends. I have made this bonehead error many times and almost every time its caused drama. You agree that you arent exclusive, theres no label, you regularly see eqchother and you get comfortable then something slips. If you have feelings for eachother explore becoming boyfriend girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gallaxia Posted July 5, 2014 Author Share Posted July 5, 2014 Ktya, dually noted. It sounds to me like you want more I think you're right. If we talked about exclusivity, I think I would consider it and give it a chance. I did text him the other evening around dinner time and he didn't reply until well after midnight. He usually gets back to me within about 1 hour. He asked what's up and I said that I wanted to see if he wanted to hang out. He said "it was really late, are you out drinking?" like implying I'm drunk and horny. I said "No, lol, i meant back when I first text you...i was in bed asleep just now" Then he just said "ok well I'm crashing". So I just said "OK". Yesterday I posted a new pic (on social media) and he made a comment about "stop posting selfies..." and then posted the lyrics to Sade's "Love is Stronger than Pride"....... I'm so confused and conflicted. I want to talk to him but he doesn't seem ready to communicate with me yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 I think you're right. If we talked about exclusivity, I think I would consider it and give it a chance. You say you are having communication problems with him, but I think this is all you need to say to him. I did text him the other evening around dinner time and he didn't reply until well after midnight. He usually gets back to me within about 1 hour. He asked what's up and I said that I wanted to see if he wanted to hang out. He said "it was really late, are you out drinking?" like implying I'm drunk and horny. I said "No, lol, i meant back when I first text you...i was in bed asleep just now" Then he just said "ok well I'm crashing". So I just said "OK". It sounds like his attempt at playing hard to get. Which is weird since I thought only women did it, but for each their own. Yesterday I posted a new pic (on social media) and he made a comment about "stop posting selfies..." This is a weird thing for him to say, why doesn't he want you to post selfie's? Does he think you are doing it to attract male attention? That is the only reason I could figure it, but it is still weird for him to ask. and then posted the lyrics to Sade's "Love is Stronger than Pride"....... I'm so confused and conflicted. I want to talk to him but he doesn't seem ready to communicate with me yet. It sounds like he already thinks you guys are together by the way he acts. Posting lyrics to that song, I've never heard of it, but just the title says a lot. I think if you think you could be exclusive with him you should just tell him that. The way he is acting is like he thinks you are already his gf, but it seems he doesn't want to be the one to say it. So I guess he is waiting for you to make a move? I don't know, but his behavior seems like an attempt to get you to say something about how you feel. He isn't exactly going about it the right way, but meh not everyone is super suave when it comes to relationships. If you just want to be friends with him though I would say stop sleeping with him because it will just confuse things since he obviously has feelings for you. Link to post Share on other sites
HomanWater Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 He's really going at it in a roundabout way. If it doesn't change you might have to be the one initiating "the talk". And honestly, start preparing for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I think only one of you thinks you are FWBs. Also, selfies are kinda silly. I say the same to anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
littleplanet Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I suppose intimate relations would be just wonderful if it all resembled Roman orgies where everyone acted like a cardboard cutout. Unfortunately, humans tend to have feelings. That actually change. The cute sophisto dance of endless categories and subdivisions of who means what to whom.....is bound to ruffle feathers in the barnyard. Which is why I hated it. I remember. Somebody who is......something - until something better comes along. It just tends to not hurt quite so bad when it blows over instead of blowing up. If the friend part means as much as the benefit part - one can always try a bit of meaningful communication. Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Even in FWB or open or casual sexual relationships - jealousy and possessiveness are likely going to come up with some people. I suspect many a person only thinks about the freedom on their side to F around. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gallaxia Posted July 8, 2014 Author Share Posted July 8, 2014 (edited) Well, I couldn't take it anymore so I texted him yesterday morning- which was a risky move because it wasn't face to face. Considering how he was acting, I point blank asked him if I might have done something to offend him (to make him act out). He was very pleasant. He said no, I hadn't done anything to offend him. So I asked him "OK, so does that mean we're OK?" He said "Yeah we're cool, I suppose". And I asked him "You suppose? I don't understand, what happened?" It seemed like that "suppose" was leading somewhere. He said "Nothing happened. Are you feeling alright?" So I told him that I had sensed tension and just wanted to clear the air. He immediately asked me to come over "to clear the air LOL" and asked if I could maybe cook him something- that is not FWB behavior, nor the first time I've cooked us dinner. We hung out and everything seemed cool. No pressure, no tension or awkwardness. I didn't bring it up again because he said nothing was the matter... Another thing is, I've been hitting the gym hard for the past few months now and my body is really starting to get back into shape and I have noticed the extra attention I've received since getting confidence (in my body) back. So if I've noticed , it's possible he has too and reacting to it. But is it possible that he could really be interested in more? I mean, we don't go out or do anything. He's typically busy so it's just hanging out at his house during his little time-off. I mean, there's nothing wrong with saving money but an interested person would make the effort to arrange an outing with someone they care about no? Or is it just the spending-time-together?... which doesn't seem very FWB-ity... LOL Edited July 8, 2014 by Gallaxia Link to post Share on other sites
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