xxxDantexEmmelixxx Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 Okay, so this may sound odd... I've had sex with so many girls I can barely remember (albeit drunk half of the time haha) but me and my girlfriend are in a long-distance relationship, and we've agreed to have a 'special night' when we finally meet eachother... I'm going to take her virginity, and be really romantic (and not drunk) but I'm very worried, because I'm afraid she might change after we do it... I've heard a lot about girls chaging and wanting sex with other guys after their first... now she is the most loyal, sweet girlfriend in the world - but I'm afraid after we do it, she will change, and get depressed or be mad at me and cheat... I'm afraid of ruining her already low self esteem... and can't be sure if she wants it because she feels she HAS to have sex with me.. or if she really want it... I've already asked her, and she says she really does want it, but I'm afraid afterwards, her hormones and emotions may change a lot... and I'm just afraid of how out of control she might be... anybody on here had experience with virgins (that they can remember cuz they weren't drunk ) and tell me their emotional changes after their first time? thanks ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 when you finally meet each other? please explain....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author xxxDantexEmmelixxx Posted July 5, 2014 Author Share Posted July 5, 2014 long distance relationship, we've been together for 4 months now and are planning on meeting up in the autumn break for the first time ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
FrostBlaze Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Just be done with it and hope for the best, stop thinking like this, if anything these insecurities will make everything worse for both of you. YOu are insecure we get that, still just do it and let it play out, if the SEX opens up her sexual appetite and she may want to experiment on others.(what yer worried about it semms XD). You can't stop that, if it happens you will move on. Believe me, if you don't stop worrying about **** like this, you will only make it worse. As long as you do a good job, love her and don't push her towards this, she shouldn't. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 You are planning to take her virginity the 1st time you meet her & you have so far only been "together" for 4 months, so it will be about 6 when you do meet? YIKES! That's awful. Yes, she will change. You will most likely destroy her. Because she has low self esteem she most likely thinks that she has to have sex with you in order to keep you. You are also in effect expecting a virgin to give it up to you the very night she meets you. This whole "on line relationship" is BS. It means nothing. It doesn't count until you have that kind of time together for real. Having sex with a stranger (again sorry but a guy on the computer is a stranger) is going to screw up her psyche in ways neither of you understand. Since you are long distance, you won't be there to pick up the pieces & when she hears the little voice in her head telling her she's a bad girl for doing what you did, she may say the heck with it & start behaving like the immoral person she thinks she has become. If you genuinely care about this woman, do not have sex with her at your 1st meeting -- I don't mean just that 1st day, I mean the entire time you are there. Instead woo her, court her, be the knight in shining armor she wants. Give her a while -- like six months of actual not long distance dating -- & then do the whole romantic night. Tell her before you get there that you have changed your mind about sex the 1st meet or she will think that you changed your mind because you don't find her attractive FWIW your whole post broke my heart. What have we become as a society that young people think virginity is something to be dispensed with and young women are throwing it away on guys they met on the internet? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dragon_fly_7 Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 (edited) This is kind of depressing in the way that the OP is actually planning this. Having sex with a gf (virgin or not) shouldn't be something a man has to plan and think about how romantic he should be to get her in bed. That comes natural and if anything, the girl doesn't even want to feel he's trying to convince her into it. Still not sure what virgin girl would want to lose it to an online bf right on the first night she meets him. I'm not a virgin but I wouldn't have sex with a ''bf'' I'm not even seeing in person and have yet to meet. Edited July 6, 2014 by dragon_fly_7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xxxDantexEmmelixxx Posted July 17, 2014 Author Share Posted July 17, 2014 erm.... thanks...I...guess... ^^" well I don't ever remember saying virginity is just something to throw away... in fact I think the total opposite... I'm glad my girlfriend is a virgin... so I can have the honor of being her first, and it means she hasn't got that emotional connection with another guy... to be honest, I actually worry about my girlfriend NOT being a virgin, because I think "if she's got such a lack of self-esteem and discipline to lose it at that age... then surely her self esteem and discipline are low enough to do something else stupid... like cheating :/ but back to the original question... experiences... like, what happened when you lost yours? did you change? did you want sex with other guys? just afraid of her turning slutty or something... but yeah... virginity means a lot to me... probably more so than to other people ^^" Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 Yeah, definitely don't have sex with her the first time you meet her. She's only 15. She's not ready. Use your time with her to build connection and trust, to get to know each other's hopes and dreams and goals. To start building a romantic physical connection such as holding hands and cuddling on the couch together. Even if she says she is ready for sex, tell her there is no hurry and you want your first time together to be special. So you can look into each other's eyes and truly KNOW the person you are looking at. There's no rush. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xxxDantexEmmelixxx Posted July 17, 2014 Author Share Posted July 17, 2014 Yeah, definitely don't have sex with her the first time you meet her. She's only 15. She's not ready. Use your time with her to build connection and trust, to get to know each other's hopes and dreams and goals. To start building a romantic physical connection such as holding hands and cuddling on the couch together. Even if she says she is ready for sex, tell her there is no hurry and you want your first time together to be special. So you can look into each other's eyes and truly KNOW the person you are looking at. There's no rush. I've already told her that ^^ all the time in the world... I could wait until we're married to do it... but she sees pretty eager, I love to just cuddle under some blankets and game, or watch a movie and tickle and make out and stuff, yes, I admit, I love sex... and I love foreplay even more... but she really does want it, she's shy... but she really wants to do it ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 I've already told her that ^^ all the time in the world... I could wait until we're married to do it... but she sees pretty eager, I love to just cuddle under some blankets and game, or watch a movie and tickle and make out and stuff, yes, I admit, I love sex... and I love foreplay even more... but she really does want it, she's shy... but she really wants to do it ^^ I know. But she is very young, and doesn't understand the consequences of that choice yet. If you want better odds of a long term relationship, it is better to slowly build one rather than jumping into the deep end right away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 She doesn't understand what she's saying. She feels pressured to not be a virgin any more but if you two have sex now when you are only 15 you will not be helping her. If she is this eager now, I see great potential for her to become that person you fear her turning into. Link to post Share on other sites
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