bentleychic Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 (edited) I really don't understand this reasoning at all - makes no sense to me. Or that she believes that the person who makes the vows is the person responsible for keeping them and would feel very strongly about keeping her own vows if she took them. And that everyone isn't responsible for making sure everyone else sticks to their vows. No, it means I got in to a situation that I am even morally against. I got in over my head without meaning or intending to and I am still, to this day, horribly ashamed of it. I would never advise or encourage an affair. Ever. I was married for almost 20 years and never cheated in any way, shape or form, despite multiple offers (including current MM years ago). It is the worst thing (being with a MM) that I've ever done in my life. I was a damn good person, but I feel like this error in judgement, this sin, has totally deleted and overshadowed all of the good that I did for so many years. Do I regret it? Absolutely! Do I regret the hurt that we've caused by doing this? Absolutely. Have I come close to walking away hundreds of times due to the guilt, hurt, fear, regret? Hell yes. But I'm still here and I still love him with all of my heart, no matter how wrong that is. I don't know what tomorrow brings and I cannot justify what the past has held. There's no justification for it. I write all of this out and I KNOW that none of it makes sense. That's why I didn't answer that original comment for so long. There's no answer for it, really. There's no way to explain it b/c there IS no good explanation for it. I'm not writing this for judgement so don't bother. I'm only responding because I feel it's rude not to, but I won't be someone's forum punching bag, either. Edited July 23, 2014 by bentleychic 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chelsea2011 Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Well since I have a child with my exMM I do at some point have to be honest with any future partner. It is never something I discuss when I'm just dating someone casually or getting to know them (not because I'm ashamed but because it is mine and my family's private matter) however since my daughter's birth I have been in one semi-serious relationship, I'm still with this man and have been for the past year and he knows the story. I was a little worried that he might start looking at me a certain way (you know, the slutty mistress way) but he was very understanding and supportive. It's kind of a good test for a man - if he has any problem with it he obviously is not right for me or my life. Totally agree with this especially the bolded part. If a guy is right for you and loves you for who you are then he won't judge you. Won't judge you for your past and make you jump through hoops to gain his trust. That is exactly what would happen if a guy has a prblem an it means he's not good for you. Good for you noelle! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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