Evileve27 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 I have been living with my bf for three months and out relationship began as close friends so we moved in together very quickly after beginning our physical relationship. He is 15 years younger than me, and spends a great deal of time on the internet via cell phone (almost constantly-even in bathroom, bed, etc) and on his laptop. He plays hours of video games and claims that this is all he is doing online. Not long after we moved into our place, he was sitting alone in a room that we don't use looking at his phone. I snuggled up beside him and saw he was looking at my Facebook profile at photos. He said he was looking for a good picture of me because he didn't have one. After saving one to his phone, he pressed the back key which led him to a Facebook messenger between him and someone that I didn't know. She had sent him a photo of herself in a bra and very fitting pants and asked if she was better looking than his gf. I couldn't believe my eyes and he immediately began making excuses. He also deleted the message thread refusing to let me read what he called "innocent" communication. Since then I have seen messages on his Facebook from many girls, and even found photos of other girls saved to his PC which he claims were from before we met. Yesterday I was using our computer and when I went into Google, a search popped up for a girl on an okcupid website. He says this is because she sent him a friend request in his "steam" game account and he was looking to see of she was real or a "bot". Is he chatting with these girls to find a better relationship? I do everything for him, iron his clothes; cook; clean; shop; and we have regular amazing sex. The thing that I can't understand is why he feels he needs the intimacy of private conversations with all these young girls if he claims to love me and appreciate the sexy, amazing woman that I am. I am never insecure but this is beginning to make me doubt the sincerity of his intentions to stay with me. I have considered posing as a girl on one of these sites just to see how far his chats go. Isn't that a sign that I should make him leave; or would I possibly find that he's just talking? Link to post Share on other sites
iiiii Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 She had sent him a photo of herself in a bra and very fitting pants and asked if she was better looking than his gf. I couldn't believe my eyes and he immediately began making excuses. He also deleted the message thread refusing to let me read what he called "innocent" communication. Yeah, that's a bit of a red flag. It might be perfectly innocent, but you have reason to worry. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 She had sent him a photo of herself in a bra and very fitting pants and asked if she was better looking than his gf. I couldn't believe my eyes and he immediately began making excuses. He also deleted the message thread refusing to let me read what he called "innocent" communication. INSTA DUMP Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Don't waste your time creating fake profiles to trap him. You have all the information you need. He is covering up his inappropriate actions, he is gaslighting you, saying you're insecure for not letting him flirt with other women?? He's making you feel something is wrong with YOU for his terrible behaviour. He is a liar and a cheat. Dump him NOW. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Evileve27 Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 INSTA DUMP Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Don't waste your time creating fake profiles to trap him. You have all the information you need. He is covering up his inappropriate actions, he is gaslighting you, saying you're insecure for not letting him flirt with other women?? He's making you feel something is wrong with YOU for his terrible behaviour. He is a liar and a cheat. Dump him NOW. I have read this term before, "gaslighting" and you are 100% correct. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 haa hahahahhaaa. He says it's just "innocent" when other women send him underwear pics and ask if they are hotter than his gf:lmao: Look. I hope that, like me, you can come out of this thinking it is LAUGHABLE that he says it is all 'innocent' I was in the same boat as you not so long ago. It doesn't get better. I know a lot of relationships and let me tell you, NONE of the men who are madly in love with their partners go online to dating websites. Not one man that is smitten with his partner has ever done anything your partner has done. Not a single man I have met has done as your bf has done if they have been truly in love with their gfs. Look my ex loved me as a person but he wasn't IN love with me in a romantic sense. Hence he browsed women online. I wasn't "it" for him. You can either leave now or he will leave you if he ever meets a woman who knocks his socks off. Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 So, she asked if she was better looking than you, and his solution was to send a pic of you, to her? I have steam, if I wanted to look someone up, I'd ask for their facebook info. How am I suppose to know if they are on a dating site, what their info are, etc.. He's lying, indeed. He's cheating or has all the intentions to. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Look, it is quiet disgusting of him to have women sending half naked pics asking if they are hotter than you. What sort of skanks do that? None that respect your relationship. And what sort of man accepts these messages? You deserve so much better. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Being friends with women on FB & liking funny posts is innocent. Underwear pictures & comparison conversations cross the line. Either he stops or you walk. If you stick around you are asking for more trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Yeah, that's a bit of a red flag. It might be perfectly innocent, but you have reason to worry. How could it be perfectly innocent? OP your bf is cheating on you, or at the very least trying to w/ these Facebook girls. You have only been dating a few months, you should be in the honeymoon stage! He isn't into you, period. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Not that it really matters, but how old are you and how old is he? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Evileve27 Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 I am a very young, vibrant 42 and he is 27. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Walk. You're not insecure. He's a jerk. Go get another 27 year old who worships the ground you walk on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Evileve27 Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 (edited) Walk. You're not insecure. He's a jerk. Go get another 27 year old who worships the ground you walk on. This sounds like my plan. He says he adores me, but maybe he just likes being taken care of. (And I am adorable, by the way.) Edited July 7, 2014 by Evileve27 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 His actions certainly do not say he adores you. His actions say he is looking around and trying to get with other women, and may have already. Which do you believe, his words or his actions? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Evileve27 Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 His actions certainly do not say he adores you. His actions say he is looking around and trying to get with other women, and may have already. Which do you believe, his words or his actions? Certainly the actions. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Certainly the actions. Good. So, your next move...? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Evileve27 Posted July 8, 2014 Author Share Posted July 8, 2014 Good. So, your next move...? Freedom! He's gotta move out. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts