What's going on?

[polaske93]

I have been in a LDR for a little over a month now. I recently made the commitment to move to Oklahoma for a little while before me and this girl got too serious. We dated briefly around February, and had an instant connection. I felt like I was in love with her from the moment I met here, and everything seemed good for awhile. Then I noticed she was growing more and more distant. Not texting me as often, or calling me back. I have had bad relationships in the past which led me to believe she was talking to other guys. I let my in securities and trust issues come into play. Ultimately I pushed her away, she met another guy and left to another city to be with him within a months time. Not 2 weeks into their relationship she started calling me daily telling me how terrible it was, how she missed me, and made a terrible mistake. Within a weeks time my feelings for her came rushing back. This is when I made the choice to leave my hometown for a little while and experience something new. Immediately after she came back to my hometown, we ended up seeing eachother one day which turned into her spending everyday of my last week in the city with me. Since then we have tried doing a LDR, and everything was cherry until a few weeks ago. She started to seem distant again, once again I jumped t conclusion s and broke up with her. The next day she was going on dates with her ex boyfriend. Three days later again she calls me crying, hyper ventilating begging me back. Saying that she was just trying to be with him to spite me, but it only made her realize how much she loves me, and wants me. Once again I accepted her back, and things were going smoothly for a week. However since then we constantly break up and make up as one day she is lovey dovey, we talk for hours and talk about visiting one another, our future together and how much we mean to each other. The next day she goes distant for a few days again which Pisses me off and makes us fight. I know I have been too controlling, and quick to jump to assumptions in the past, but it's too hard for me to trust any girl, let alone her with my past. What do I do? Am I crazy for getting mad when I hardly hear from her, and she never calls me first or texts me first? I want to just drop her and move on, but it's really hard for me, she is the first girl O can say I've truly loved, and wanted a future with. I'm scared to hurt myself and let myself become a floor mat to this girl, but at the same time I'm scared to lose someone I care about like this.

[d0nnivain]

Neither one of you have problem solving skills & you both seem to want instant intimacy without putting in the time or effort it takes to make that bond.

 

Everything about your interactions were too fast & too superficial. She's some kind of bad boomerang & you don't seem to mind.

 

Stay broken up & build your next relationship more slowly.

[Chrissyhly]

I've had a similar experience to this. The guy I dated before, he would always be sweet, caring and kind, always the one who messaged me telling me he loves me and how much he missed me when I was busy with things like school, tutor, work + sporting events for school. We dated for 10 months but in the month before we broke up, he's been mentioning his relationship before our current one, which made me very very suspicious. Plus he's always late when we arranged a time to talk and twice he didn't turn up at all. Then, after a night of long talking, he dumps me the next day telling me he would be lying to me if he didn't have feelings for his ex (the girl he mentioned in his past relationship). After going back to date her, then dumping her the month after, he's been saying that he's sorry and all the things to try and get me back.

To be honest, if someone is treating you like that, they're not worth your time. I know I'm in no position to be telling you this because currently, my boyfriend is going quiet on me (which is hurting me like hell) but really, hanging on to someone because you care so much about them when they are distancing themselves further and further from you really isn't worth it the effort and time, plus it's hurting you as well.