I am not sure how to continue

[Takenfordead]

Very confused over best friend type girl need a bit of advice

So basically, I met this girl back in mid January, and right from the start we've gone a handful of days of not texting because of trips. To start ever since we met there's been a strong connection between us.

 

Two weeks after we met she called me after the bar one night saying she didn't know where her friend was and needed help, so I left where i was and picked up her up and brought her to my place where we had a very romantic morning the next day. She said it was crazy that we just met and that she barely know who I was but trusted me enough to get her to a safe place... Later on she explained that she wasn't looking for anything serious, because she was fresh out of a complicated relationship with a crazy stalker type guy and still dealing with a serious divorce and wanted to figure out who she was and become happy again. I figured it'd be great to be friends with someone I felt so connected with so I was ok with that, a few months of hanging out every few days she started liking me and really liking me but didn't want to be my girlfriend or have anything to serious, so we ended up going on a road trip for snowboarding and when we can back three months of seeing each other I introduced her to my two kids, and since then for the last three months it's been pretty good, she's stated that she really likes me, that I'm really good to her, and that she loves that I am very motivated to do better for myself and caring of my very dysfunctional family.

 

She's helped plan and tagged along with my boys and I for outings, she's helped me with a lot my goals, evening helped me figure out how to get out of debt and get better financially on track, basically helped me start a better life for myself even helped push me to apply for college, and guided me through all the doubts I had about going back school. She started saying a month or ago that I make her really happy, and fixed a lot of doubts she had about me getting serious, and said that I would be the perfect boyfriend if only I had a much more stable job, I work at a group home as a support worker, and do freelance design work, but was willing to give me a year to figure my stuff out to see how serious I am.

 

Now she is a very successful in the health care field, has a lot going for her, owns a house, new car, has goals in life and likes to be a free bird and I've always supported and liked that about her, but recently spent three months upgrading and that has put a ton of stress on her since it was an intense course load. She had also tried doing renovations on her house which has added to her stress, and caused a lot of tension between us... I've offered to help her out with the renovation work but it's been a lot of butting heads over costs and what she wants and what she can afford. It's caused her to want to take a step back from me, because we never really used to fight, or argue... She says it's to much drama and scaring her, that we might lose our friendship.

 

I guess where I'm starting to get confused is, she says she does not want to be with anyone and has said that from the start, but she started to fall for me really bad saying it a lot. But she wants to make new friends since she lost a lot of them in her divorce, she wants to have more time for her self but wants to spent a lot of time with me, but does not want the complications of a relationship. Yet we were never really in one according to her, and I was fine with that. But started to feel like one... I told her that I really care about her, and she says for how long, how long before that takes before I stop caring I said it will never change because you would never do anything to willing hurt me... I said I'll stay by her side while she figures her troubles out because I care about her that much. But she said she doesn't want me to do that because she thinks I'll start to resent her. If I waste my life waiting for her, she says, what if she finds someone else and I said so be it at least we still have our friendship. Thne she says for me to move on, because she doesn't know what will happen, but the thought of me moving on would hurt her..

 

Now since this all happened last weekend, I've been super confused, because she still messages me all the time, still wants to me plans with me, wants me to come over, and gets weird when I don't reply in a certain amount of time with out giving her a reason, she's always thought it was rude when people leave others hanging, but it's worse then it was.

 

She even made plans to go the beach with me and my boys. Which was a great time, saying she is having a wonderful day and giving me hugs and staring into my eyes like she really wants me. Later that night after I dropped my boys off at there mothers. We spent the night cuddling in bed. The next day when we woke up, we went golfing, but nothing, she would stare into my eyes yet it felt cold and didn't really want any affection. But when she dropped me off so I could get ready for work, I said I'll talk her later and she said oh, I was gonna hang out with you till you got ready for work, I said ok fine I didn't know, then she said she would just go home, and I said no, you can come up if ya want, I just thought you were going for a work out. She ended up coming up and it created tension because I had to get ready and I am completely unsure why she wanted to come up, since she knew I had like 20 minutes to leave, but she ended up going home messaging me saying wishing me a good shift.

 

Since this whole friends state came into place we've only had sex once. And kissed a few times but then it comes to a boundary and it stops...

 

I'm not to sure what to do, I really like her, and the thought of not having her in my life breaks me even as a friend. I feel like I've become a better person in the short six months we been hanging out and seeing each other, I've quit smoking, started drinking less, got back into biking and overall a better healthier lifestyle. Started spending more time with my kids, and just not with her around, I was headed down a dark path before, lots of nights out, lots of partying and just not a good person, but never doing drugs and that's what she found really attractive about me...

 

I know it seems like she is stringing me along, but she said she feels tensions between us over not having what we used to, but still wants to hang out to see how the friends thing goes for a while till the fighting and drama stops...

 

Help, advice, any other guys been stuck in this?

 

I feel like I've been put in the friend zone, but why would she still want to act like she wants more then friends with out the sexual romance...

 

I'm 28 and she is 30, where only a year apart in birth but the months cause it to seem 2 years.

 

Sorry for the mis spelling or grammar, I'm on my phone and feeling like I got a hole in my gut over this!

 

Thanks in advance for any advice or direction...

 

Think girl of your dreams that any guy would be jealous to have, and she wants you just as much but lost in her own mind of confusion over past mistakes. Who will never admit her feelings.

 

And one last thing. My gut instinct is telling me to move on and limit the amount of time I spent with her, but at the same time, I feel like if I do that, I'll miss out on such an amazing girl!