Thegreatestthing Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Such wisdom as treat them mean keep thrm keen etc,I shouldn't be reading "the rules" but I am and I want to know how much contact I should have with this guy ,I like to be carefree about these things. I met this great guy online days and days ago but we only started talking In depth today, from this morning till now non stop and I feel like that is excessive I should say I'm busy or something. But at the same time I love those films like before sunrise where they talk all day and night about everything in the world,deep conversations, so I'm kind of confused about it all.like should I just keep talking. Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Balance is the key .... Link to post Share on other sites
Elias33 Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Just let things flow naturally. I think relationships would be much easier if there was less game playing by both genders. I agree. Go with what feels right, enjoy these moments. Getting to know and like someone is always a risk. Where ever it may end, it should be nice to know it went there without manipulation. If it makes sense to you to not go all out, do so, but the reasons have to be right. Common sense is one thing, manipulation is something you may regret if it doesn't turn out the way you'd planned. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Targetlock Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Such wisdom as treat them mean keep thrm keen etc,I shouldn't be reading "the rules" but I am and I want to know how much contact I should have with this guy ,I like to be carefree about these things. I met this great guy online days and days ago but we only started talking In depth today, from this morning till now non stop and I feel like that is excessive I should say I'm busy or something. But at the same time I love those films like before sunrise where they talk all day and night about everything in the world,deep conversations, so I'm kind of confused about it all.like should I just keep talking. I'm kind of going through the same thing but from the male point of view and yes i would suggest go with the flow, if they want to keep on chatting with you that long its because they want to and are probably just as excited as you are. go with the flow 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Scales Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I am one of those people that dislikes texting/talking on the phone all day. I have things that really need to get done, or things that deserve my focus. I am the type of guy who will reply to a text and then wait a couple hours. Honestly, it hasn't worked in my favor. The people from the "Rules" and the "Game" have a lot of good advice mixed in with some bad ones. Both will tell you to never get invested and let the person on the other end chase you. This results in a lot of "see who can care less" flirting where both people turn their attention off in order to starve the other into pursuing it. 9 times out of 10 it doesn't work. Why? Because there are too many people out there now and too much competition. Unless you proved to a person you were the best guy/girl they have ever met in their life from the first interaction, they can just go somewhere else. True story, I lost a girl I liked to another guy doing this stuff simply because he occupied more of her time. Their relationship blew up after 2 months, but still. TL;DR If you take attention away from people, they will get it from somewhere else. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Playing HTG went out in the '90s, but every once in a while someone tries to bring it back. It sends the message that you're not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 You shouldn't PLAY hard to get but you do need to have a life beyond the person you just met & are trying to begin dating. One or two all night conversations are fine. Having them all the time makes me wonder why you both have so much time on your hands. When do you sleep, do chores or go to work / school? Link to post Share on other sites
TheyCallMeOx Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 If you play hard to get when you've already been having great conversations, he's going to feel a bit "off." He's going to be all "we had such great conversations and now she's all the sudden busy all the time." Why should people play hard to get to begin with? If it feels right, it is right. If it's really bothering you, designate a time to talk, and get all the stuff you need to get done beforehand. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I understand this honeymoon phase, but there's two things to consider when just pouring out everything right away. One is that if you tell each other everything right at first, there will be no mystery going forward AND every time something reminds you of that same story, from now on, it will be a repeat and no one likes repeat stories. So I say hold back from disclosing everything and limit stories to when you're in person, one a date. The other thing is how you get started now, with gazillions of texts daily, will be how one or the other of you expects the other to go forward --and one of you will likely get sick of texting about nothing and then the other will be hurt because they're the chatty type. So I say have some restraint and limit really getting to know each other to when you're face to face. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thegreatestthing Posted July 8, 2014 Author Share Posted July 8, 2014 Have to agree with this,there's a lot more options now if someone ignores us,I said goodnight and he kept wanting to talk I kept saying goodnight etc And then didn't reply ,this morning no word from him. He likely thinks I lost all interest and it did make things weird, I noticed too after I stopped talking to him that I started to think of other people. Won't be doing this again. I am one of those people that dislikes texting/talking on the phone all day. I have things that really need to get done, or things that deserve my focus. I am the type of guy who will reply to a text and then wait a couple hours. Honestly, it hasn't worked in my favor. The people from the "Rules" and the "Game" have a lot of good advice mixed in with some bad ones. Both will tell you to never get invested and let the person on the other end chase you. This results in a lot of "see who can care less" flirting where both people turn their attention off in order to starve the other into pursuing it. 9 times out of 10 it doesn't work. Why? Because there are too many people out there now and too much competition. Unless you proved to a person you were the best guy/girl they have ever met in their life from the first interaction, they can just go somewhere else. True story, I lost a girl I liked to another guy doing this stuff simply because he occupied more of her time. Their relationship blew up after 2 months, but still. TL;DR If you take attention away from people, they will get it from somewhere else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thegreatestthing Posted July 8, 2014 Author Share Posted July 8, 2014 Actually I just messaged him then and weirdly he replied at the exact moment I wrote it and now were happily talking but things feel weirder so I won't be doing that again. Still he seems keen from the being a bit aloof so maybe it works,or maybe he was already like that,I don't know,I don't care I'm just not going yo bother with the rules. Link to post Share on other sites
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