Dog Woman Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 It been over 6 weeks since I posted on here when ex MM was last in contact. Im posting again because there has been a significant development that I need to share on here. Non of my friends and family know about ex MM. Basically he has left his wife and wants me. I have seen for myself that he is living on his own as I went to see him. Before anyone tuts and shakes their heads Ill explain why. Basically he contacted me, told me he has left his wife and is seeing a solicitor about a divorce. He wanted to prove to me he was serious so he invited me to his new house. I decided to go with an open mind. When I got there he didnt answer the door at first. His neighbour was in their front garden and started talking to me. He commented it was nice having ex MM as a neighbour again and it was a shame hed split with his wife. Apparently ex MM had been living there for a few weeks. Ex MM answered the door and invited me in. I spent a few hours at his house. He showed me around. There was no evidence a womman was living there. It was surreal. Not once did he try and get me into bed.. We just talked. He also showed me correspondence from his solicitor. He told me that once his divorce is through he wants to be with me. I told him how I felt about him too. My meeting was on Sunday and my head has been in a spin ever since. I managed to keep my head on Sunday and told him that I still dont want to be the other woman and that I need to know I can trust him. I left that I would leave him to sort the legalties with his wife without any influence from me. I said I would keep my distance and only if and when his divorce is final should he contact me again. So it was a kind ofvgoodbye on Sunday. I am relieved that its hopefully the end of him playing games. Have I done the right thing. Part of me still does believe what happened on Sunday. Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I definitely think you're doing the right thing. Wait until his divorce is final and then pursue a relationship if that's what you all want at that point. Moving out and getting his own place is a nice gesture, but not the signal to fall headlong into a relationship with him. He's still married. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Gunthar Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I hope you're feeling supremely honored and giddy (And let him know you are too, or he'll be terribly disheartened- He's leaving for you- You must be an amazing catch), but stick to waiting until the D is complete. Happy for you 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dog Woman Posted July 8, 2014 Author Share Posted July 8, 2014 I hope you're feeling supremely honored and giddy (And let him know you are too, or he'll be terribly disheartened- He's leaving for you- You must be an amazing catch), but stick to waiting until the D is complete. Happy for you Thank you. I feel brilliant. He knows exactly how I feel. I told him on Sunday and I didnt hold anything back befote I made it clear he cant have a proper relationship with me until his divorce is final. I want to make sure he means what he said and that he doesnt change his mind and cancel his divorce plans and gets back with his wife. It should be easier to keep my distance for the next few months at least as we wont be goung to the same shows. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Hi Dog Woman, This is amazing news! I am so happy for you and hope that, if this is what you want, that it'll all work out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ap05 Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Happy for you and just take it one day at a time 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lovemesomehim Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Happy for you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppygoodwill Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 It's true - he needs to live the separation and face the reality of divorce on his own - and stick it out - before you can believe that he's for real. Even before he knows for himself what is real. Loneliness might set in and he runs back to the marital home; then you'll know for sure. hold the line. If he's serious, then he'll wait. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gunthar Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 It's true - he needs to live the separation and face the reality of divorce on his own - and stick it out - before you can believe that he's for real. Even before he knows for himself what is real. Loneliness might set in and he runs back to the marital home; then you'll know for sure. hold the line. If he's serious, then he'll wait. Not to pick a fight here (sorry Poppy), but in contrast... I'm just compelled to say please be careful, because you absolutely influence this process for him. He is coming for YOU. If he senses you don't believe in him and may not be there on the other side... omg... you will have an uncontainable mess. Someone here has posted about how to be supportive in this time and maintain your integrity of both yourself and your R with him. Find those threads! Asking someone to take on some sort of "unnecessary injury" might debilitate them (you guys) irrecoverably. I think there is a middle ground where you believe in each other, keep this time special (as hard as it will already be for him), and not sit there with any sort of the same skepticism that so many bitter people (and justifiably so) have here... Keep it special and it will be. But don't 'give in' until it's final (no question about that). All the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dog Woman Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 Hi Dog Woman, This is amazing news! I am so happy for you and hope that, if this is what you want, that it'll all work out. Thanks. Nearly a week later and I still can't believe what happened last Sunday. It's almost too good to be true, hence why a little of part of me is a bit sceptic. I do want him in my life but only if I am the only one. It's early days and he ha a lot to sort out so nothing is going to happen for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dog Woman Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 Not to pick a fight here (sorry Poppy), but in contrast... I'm just compelled to say please be careful, because you absolutely influence this process for him. He is coming for YOU. If he senses you don't believe in him and may not be there on the other side... omg... you will have an uncontainable mess. Someone here has posted about how to be supportive in this time and maintain your integrity of both yourself and your R with him. Find those threads! Asking someone to take on some sort of "unnecessary injury" might debilitate them (you guys) irrecoverably. I think there is a middle ground where you believe in each other, keep this time special (as hard as it will already be for him), and not sit there with any sort of the same skepticism that so many bitter people (and justifiably so) have here... Keep it special and it will be. But don't 'give in' until it's final (no question about that). All the best. I understand what you are saying. My guy knows exactly how I feel about things, including any reservations and skepticism I have, and he understood where I was coming from. It has taken a lot of courage for him to leave his wife and he has a few understandable uncertainties too but he is clear about wanting me. He knows I am behind him 100% in every step of the way. The one thing he doesn't want to happen is for me to end up being named in the divorce and this is reason why we are going to keep our distance. Like me, he too hasn't told any of his close friends or family about me and he wants to keep it that way until his divorce is finalised. I have unblocked his number from my phone so he has a means of contacting me now. My door is open and he knows where I am. Link to post Share on other sites
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