spiderowl Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Why are so many young guys on dating sites searching for older women? Seriously? Are they just looking for sex or do they really think they could have a proper romantic relationship with someone 15-30 years older than them? They fake their ages on their profiles, they'll travel across the country, if you let them. What is the deal with these guys and why don't they chase girls their own age? It seems absurd! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Being a cub to a cougar is trendy. They think that some older women will be happy to play Mrs. Robinson & teach them a few things in the bedroom. Some may very well be pure of heart but that's unlikely. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author spiderowl Posted July 8, 2014 Author Share Posted July 8, 2014 Being a cub to a cougar is trendy. They think that some older women will be happy to play Mrs. Robinson & teach them a few things in the bedroom. Some may very well be pure of heart but that's unlikely. Where are they learning this stuff! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 the tabloids & trash TV 2 Link to post Share on other sites
D.Mc. Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 On a few of my OKC notifications on "matches" last month I noticed there was another section below: they were advertising for something called a "ToyBoy" party (the co. was called FastLife-they do speed dating events in NYC). The event was specifically for over 40 women & under 30 guys as I remember. I could only think why would a women who doesn't want to pay $$ for sex attend? Eventually a much younger guy will need some financial support if he doesn't start out that way already. The young'uns looking for cougars are also looking for $upport. It really is no different from the "sugar daddy" that young women are looking for. Yes, I know that there are people on this forum who have old/young age relationships but I would hope it happened "organically", & not that the younger partners specifically sought them out like a fetish seeker. I would be interested to know just what the financial arrangements are though. On the plus side, I guess this really is equal rights for women, since now we are looked at as provider$ too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Teraskas Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Personally, as a 22 year old guy my preferred age range is 18 to 30. I generally tend to prefer the upper range women as most of them (although not all) have outgrown the bad boys phase. I've known several people who go after older members of the opposite sex. One example which comes to mind is my 25 year old cousin (female) who is now married to a 39 year old guy. Why she never bothered to go after guys her own age, I dunno. From what I heard, they met through happenstance and a similar hobby, hehe. Link to post Share on other sites
LLQ1986 Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 yeah...i was wondering the same thing too. I'm 28 and younger guys (not much younger but about 25 & 26 y/o) have been talking to me on tinder. Link to post Share on other sites
Moonborn Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 yeah...i was wondering the same thing too. I'm 28 and younger guys (not much younger but about 25 & 26 y/o) have been talking to me on tinder. Being 26 myself, I for one would love to date a girl 2 or 3 years older than me (not hitting on you I promise ). My last two relationships where with girls quite younger than me, and I would like to find somebody who is a bit more mature next time. But I don't think this is what the OP is talking about... 2, 3 or even 4 years difference is a thing, but when it goes to 15-30 I agree that there is probably something fishy going on. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 yeah...i was wondering the same thing too. I'm 28 and younger guys (not much younger but about 25 & 26 y/o) have been talking to me on tinder. That's not really the same thing. The issue is when one person is old enough to be the biological parent of the other which requires a 14+ year age gap. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 I think there's a certain intrigue these younger men have. Be it sexual, emotional, mental, or a combination. Older women can come across as very confident, sexy, funny, laid back, and interesting. We've got some older women on this very site who are all that, and more!!! 7 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 It has nothing to do with trend. Guys can have mom issues just as easily as girls can have dad ones, which makes them hot for women that are older. It's just becoming more socially acceptable to pursue that need in the open. It doesn't hurt there's a lot of 40, 50+ year old women who can put their 20 year old counterparts to shame physically either. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Just to add too, most of that nonsense about how younger guys are just looking for sex comes from women themselves who don't understand how guys could go against what's traditionally accepted as the truth. That women somehow lose value as they get older. There are many, many examples of great relationships where the guys are younger. And many example of same age relationships where the guy uses the girl for sex. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 In many cases its beacuse of limited options..... The desirable older men their age are seeking women younger(or the cream of the crop of women their age)-so for those older women on the outside looking in, better to be some kids novelty than some old, shriveled up guys prize.. In the case of the younger guys, its because the desirable younger girls are very picky and wont go for the average young guy...So these guys think the only way to go is look for an older woman.. The dynamics rarely work due to the age gaps, so often its a road to nowhere if one is looking for more than a hookup.. Sorry if I offended anyone with these comments, but just my observations, thats all... TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Just to add too, most of that nonsense about how younger guys are just looking for sex comes from women themselves who don't understand how guys could go against what's traditionally accepted as the truth. That women somehow lose value as they get older. There are many, many examples of great relationships where the guys are younger. And many example of same age relationships where the guy uses the girl for sex. It has nothing to do with trend. Guys can have mom issues just as easily as girls can have dad ones, which makes them hot for women that are older. It's just becoming more socially acceptable to pursue that need in the open. It doesn't hurt there's a lot of 40, 50+ year old women who can put their 20 year old counterparts to shame physically either. Beat me to it. I don't see the big deal. I know men who think it's fine to chase someone 40 or 50 years younger. Also, just because a man is young, doesn't mean he's trying to live off of an older woman. Many young men already have good job, make good money, have their own house or apartment and car. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 (edited) Yes, I know that there are people on this forum who have old/young age relationships but I would hope it happened "organically", & not that the younger partners specifically sought them out like a fetish seeker. I would be interested to know just what the financial arrangements are though. On the plus side, I guess this really is equal rights for women, since now we are looked at as provider$ too. We both have jobs and split the bills equally. Here and there one went through a period of unemployment or a slow season for my business and as a married couple, the other just picked up the slack for those couple months. I have slightly more savings and a slightly better car, but otherwise I don't see any difference from a same age couple ! Also, I used to be a "rock chick", managed a recording studio, but haven't been to shows in a while. My H recently befriended the guitarist of a local band, nice guy, and we've been going to a few of his shows lately and YEAH: I may be 20 yrs older than a lot of these chicks, but seriously, I'm in better shape and get hit on more often than the chunky, drunky 20 somethings ! *Note: husband is 20 yrs younger, 18 inches taller and 120 lbs heavier, there are some numbers for ya ! ( And yes, it happened organically. We worked together and became friends and I tried to deflect the situation but finally gave in and am glad I did ! When I DID try OLD I too was INUNDATED with guys in their 20's ! ) Edited July 9, 2014 by melodymatters added 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Scales Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 My best relationships have been with women who were 8-12 years older than me. Women in their 30's make for FAR BETTER relationship partners compared to women in their 20's. They have had their experiences, they have often spent time alone and aren't that needy, and are less likely to play games especially when it comes to the physical relationship. Whats wrong with dating a younger guy? Salary cap not enough for you? Not mature enough to handle all your book reading, weekend jogging, and netflix watching? Ageist stereotypes are a limiting belief. Maybe give one of them a try (obviously ignore the poor grammar and over sexual messages). Older guys will be shooting younger as well, the ones worth anything anyways. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 OP, I did a fair amount of online dating back in the day and can't recall being able to quantify what others actually did offline or, with any accuracy, what their proclivities were. I'm curious as to how you discerned all this. I'm guessing it's from reading profiles; if so, then, out of millions of profiles floating around in cyberspace, you picked those profiles to read. Something about those young men appealed to you and the profiles apparently drilled down to an interest in older women. Apologies if dating sites now publish such metrics as to which age groups their members prefer. I haven't seen that but don't get on dating sites much these days. As to why, there's nothing new about it. It's old (no acronym intended). From my youth, I'm reminded by the portrayal of a young man falling in love with a woman twice his age, poignantly played by a quite young Warren Beatty against the mature older lady portrayed by Vivien Leigh who, ironically, had married a man 20 years her senior at a younger age. The movie was 'The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone' and I saw a lot of similar in my youth and I trust such had gone on long before I found my way to this earth. People are just more 'out there' with such proclivities now and we have instant communication to share them with everyone. Such preferences were simply less accessible and more private in prior times. Why is pretty simple. A young man is essentially a walking erection looking for a willing female to procreate (or try to) with and, whether she's post-pubescent or grandma Jones, doesn't really matter in that realm. His only constraints are his socialization and general societal inhibitions and how he processes them into personal behavior. Any disdain for such couplings would be indicative of general societal inhibitions, or social pressure, essentially the control by others over one's personal behavior. As people are all different, each of us responds differently to exertion of such controls. Some comply. Others will not be controlled. That's life! Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 I think there's a certain intrigue these younger men have. Be it sexual, emotional, mental, or a combination. Older women can come across as very confident, sexy, funny, laid back, and interesting. I hope it's something along these lines! I'm 44 and recently separated from husband of 25 years. I not doing any online dating stuff and not really any IRL dating, either, exactly. But, I have been going out a lot and dancing several nights a week and having a great time. I've been shocked to meet several interesting and fun and HOT younger men and very few single older ones. Even more shocking is that they seem interested! Gah! Right now I've got two guys I'm hanging out with some. One is probably about 27 (he won't tell me how old he is!), the other is close to my age, maybe a couple of years older. If age was not an issue for me at all, it would be a no brainer. Younger guy is just a blast to hang out with and sweet as hell, not to mention he's HOT. lol I never saw this issue coming in my life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Looks like someone's having a mid-life crisis. lol I hope it's something along these lines! I'm 44 and recently separated from husband of 25 years. I not doing any online dating stuff and not really any IRL dating, either, exactly. But, I have been going out a lot and dancing several nights a week and having a great time. I've been shocked to meet several interesting and fun and HOT younger men and very few single older ones. Even more shocking is that they seem interested! Gah! Right now I've got two guys I'm hanging out with some. One is probably about 27 (he won't tell me how old he is!), the other is close to my age, maybe a couple of years older. If age was not an issue for me at all, it would be a no brainer. Younger guy is just a blast to hang out with and sweet as hell, not to mention he's HOT. lol I never saw this issue coming in my life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 I don't understand why are you upset? Like tons of guys have married and been with girls who were 20 years younger than them and everyone seems to accept that. Now when few seems to prefer girls and women who are older them, you are upset and make it sound like the end of the world. Why! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Youngest guy I have dated is 15 years my junior. And no, he wasn't looking for a sugar mama because he is way more successful than me. He is a kick ass lawyer who liked me because I am independent and not needy. A lot of people would say that the young guy learns from the older woman but I seriously learned more from him, he has so many tricks I picked up (sex-wise) lol. I often asked him where he learned all those things, but from then on, I never underestimate a guy's young age. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
grays Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Looks like someone's having a mid-life crisis. lol Possibly. But my midlife crisis is pretty tame. It caused me to dye my hair for the first time ever and possibly pay too much attention to some younger men. Sadly, it was husband's midlife crisis that has destroyed our family. I'm going out dancing every night because I need to make a new life for myself now that he's imploded. I can't say that I don't think it's a fun idea to have a roll in the hay with someone else (not to mention this particular way too young someone else), but that is only after about six months of serious heartache. I was crazy about my husband and he would have been my first choice for a roll in the hay up until very recently. But now that he's not an option, I don't think enjoying my freedom a bit is a bad idea. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 The same reason why old men chase after young girls...because they can! It's not a secret that most men are open to the idea of finding their own Mrs. Robinson experience (from the movie "The Graduate") just as young girls are looking to be swept away by some smitten Sugar Daddy. Although these relationships aren't always based JUST on sex, there is something to be said about the fact that sexual peaks of men and women in both scenarios are typically more in alignment. Link to post Share on other sites
Trane Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Why are so many young guys on dating sites searching for older women? Seriously? Are they just looking for sex or do they really think they could have a proper romantic relationship with someone 15-30 years older than them? They fake their ages on their profiles, they'll travel across the country, if you let them. What is the deal with these guys and why don't they chase girls their own age? It seems absurd! It's very real and practical. Older women know what they want, ask for what they want, and usually get what they want without all the headaches and dating nonsense. More importantly if they don't get what they want they're not going to go pyscho on the guy but will look over his shoulder for the next guy. I'll admit to one time being a horny young guy and wanting nothing but older women. They don't mess around. When you're young and horny, you don't always want to deal with that hot young chick who's trying to keep you in her back pocket. At the same time she holding out on sex with you while dating and banging 4 or 5 other guys. Why spend copious amounts of dollars on dates with a youngin' who's way too concerned with how your looks compliment hers and whether her hair is going to get messed up during sex. Older women want action and most don't care about the stupid stuff to enjoy good sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author spiderowl Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 OP, I did a fair amount of online dating back in the day and can't recall being able to quantify what others actually did offline or, with any accuracy, what their proclivities were. I'm curious as to how you discerned all this. I'm guessing it's from reading profiles; if so, then, out of millions of profiles floating around in cyberspace, you picked those profiles to read. Thanks for your reply Carhill. I actually found this because lots of young men have contacted on online dating sites. I guess it's just hormones and they are not thinking straight. I think they'd be better off finding younger women local to them rather than trawling sites for older women. Just seems bizarre or even sick? Link to post Share on other sites
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