LoveHurtz Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 My MM/best friend finally owned up and left his W. It CAN happen! If it's true love and you are willing to WORK at trust and the relationship...it can work out. I have been the OW for a year. I thought he would NEVER leave. I found solace in this site when I was down and missing him. But...he finally told his W that he wanted out. Don't get me wrong...it isn't a bed of roses. They are seperated and the divorce process will take time...but, they have no kids and no property to speak of. I have to be understanding that he has to deal with her pain too. I don't expect him to abandon her completely. He does talk to her when she needs to talk about her feelings....but I'm ok with that. I am 2 months pregnant also....and we are both very happy. I love him with all of my heart. I have loved him for 5 years, I wish I had come to terms with that before he met her, but hindsight is always 20/20. So....there are happy endings guys...! Now his W can be with a man that deserves her love, not just settle with a man that made a mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinTX Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 [font=century gothic]My H came back after 2 months of being with the OW. So don't get to excited yet, never say never. I am sure I heard all the words your MM told his wife. Now DH says he tried to believe it and make others believe it. We had lawyers as well. [/font] Link to post Share on other sites
Grinning Maniac Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 *suddenly gets a picture in his head of a lottery winner running into a room full of people and telling them that they can win* Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Originally posted by LoveHurtz My MM/best friend finally owned up and left his W. It CAN happen! If it's true love and you are willing to WORK at trust and the relationship...it can work out. I have been the OW for a year. I thought he would NEVER leave. Oh great...a relationship based on deception, lies, betrayal, and cheating. And trust?!!? well you better bet your sweet a$$ you'll will be WORKING REAL HARD ON THAT ISSUE. 'Trust' and 'infidelity' two words that essentially have opposite meanings. Yet you claim that now that he's left his wife it's all going to work out just fine. Well good luck to you - you're going to really need it, since you made the choice to be with a man who thinks nothing of cheating on his SO. I don't know why I decided to browse this forum tonight, it was a mistake...all it does it make me upset and angry. I'm outta here....byeeeeee Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Congrats for you if that is the person you love. Good Luck........... Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHurtz Posted February 20, 2005 Author Share Posted February 20, 2005 Thanks for your support Daddy's Princess...I expect cynics though so thanks to all who replied even though there was a negative disbelieving undertone. My story is far from the "typical" affair scenario and even IF it was typical....no one story has the exact same outcome. I will create my own reality...THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! Link to post Share on other sites
BoatingBabe Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 Lovehurtz, I really hope it all works out for you.....Hopefully he'll be the one in the million that won't do it to you....but odds are stacked against him....you know how the ol' adage goes, "be careful of what you wish for". but Good Luck and I hope he doesn't break your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
newby Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 keep positive. its good things have worked out for you. everyone else, love hurtz didnt have to post on here, im sure she is trying to spread a little positivity, whatever anyone thinks, no need to dampen it. Link to post Share on other sites
lynnered Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 "My MM/best friend finally owned up and left his W. It CAN happen! If it's true love and you are willing to WORK at trust and the relationship...it can work out. I have been the OW for a year. I thought he would NEVER leave. I found solace in this site when I was down and missing him. But...he finally told his W that he wanted out. " i am so happy for you ,i wish you the best you deserve it!!!,I'm glad you shared don't let cynics chase you away!! Link to post Share on other sites
kkat Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 I wish you all the best and hope that he has left his marriage for the right reasons, will handle his divorce fairly, and that you two will have a long and happy relationship. Some of the other posters have presented their views on this, and I hope I can share mine in a positive way. The reality is that any relationship has difficulties, and you are entering a new phase of your relationship with him at a time when he is going to be going through a tremendous amount of difficulty. It may not be easy. My Ex-MM left his wife "to be with me", and we lived together and had a relationship that included his children, his family and friends, etc. - for about 3 years. From talking to other women, and reading on LS, it appears it's not uncommon for men to leave, connect with another woman, and then go back home after a period of time. Please just remember, he is still married until he is divorced, and please be careful of how far you go with integrating your life with his until he has divorced and made an appropriate commitment to you. Be careful, be cautious, and know that I am sending you good thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHurtz Posted February 21, 2005 Author Share Posted February 21, 2005 Thanks alot kkat and newby and other positive posts. I do come here for peoples experiences and views pos. and neg.....so thanks for your honesty!! You are all right, it is hard and I am by no means portraying to be the "winner" in this situation. There are no winners here. We have all suffered. Especially his wife...and the guilt is there for me believe me. But, I do have faith and think that it will all work out regardless. Even if he did go back to her...I would dust myself off and keep on going. I know that is a possibility, but I don't dwell on the unknown. I do have a baby growing inside me to think about. I'll keep posting and let yall know how it goes! Take care all!! Link to post Share on other sites
uberfrau Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 LoveHurtz You are so lame and transparent. You get yourself knocked up in order to try to keep him around. Do the kid a favor and abort it. Romeo will realize how expensive a divorce will be, and will ditch you with the kid. As I said elsewhere, poor kid and a stupid mother. Of course, the father is stupid, that goes without saying, but YOU have a choice to not make YOUR life more miserable and the kid's. If people want to screw up their lives with needless drama, have at it. IT's when morons like YOU drag kids into the picture, and screw THEM up. A child shouldn't have to suffer for it's mothers emotional immaturity and doormat ways. Link to post Share on other sites
anon Posted February 22, 2005 Share Posted February 22, 2005 uberfrau, i am curious, what is your life like? please share with us all the details of how a perfect person lives a perfect life. how else will we learn if you wont tell us exactly what you have done and are doing. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 If he left his wife for you, what makes you think he won't leave you for somebody else?? You must be pretty young and neive.. Link to post Share on other sites
Shiraz Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by LoveHurtz I'm happy for you to! WIsh I could be the one saying that my MM picked me! I know it'll never happen. I hope it works for you! What people forget, is we never know the full story, when people post here. None of us are perfect, so none of us have the right to judge others. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHurtz Posted February 24, 2005 Author Share Posted February 24, 2005 Thanks Shiraz!! You're right. How dare anyone judge anyone. No one is perfect or without sin. But, I expect ignorance and rudeness from complete strangers. I just thought this was a SUPPORT site...not a condemnation site. But...THANKS guys for the encouragement and the warnings...I know they are all love. Link to post Share on other sites
portableversion Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 I was just thinking that this forum is located closely to the forum where the betrayed people go. Maybe this should be in a different site all together. Cause right next door are people posting about maybe even wanting to hurt the "other". Not all the time but the emotional torment and pain is huge. A real sad day for me was reading about a betrayed who was connected with people at the other forum.They knew each other from "both sides of the aisle"!!! At this forum are people who post about disappointment of no divorce between the married people. IMO the interests are in direct conflict. There are alot of chemicals being mixed here at LS and I think a combustable situation will be ever present and sometimes the Love Shack will catch on fire. I admit somedays I want to stroll by just to toss in a lit match. But I resist. Its a good thing we can be anonymous. With all the ideals of family, love, quality time, happy holidays, kids, the whole thing can either be a happy dream or a horrid nightmare. The train stops here at love shack Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 I pop in once in a while their. It helps me understand them. And I kinda give them a lil insight as to why we're not such bad people.. the OW Or in my case, exOW. Anyways, we're not being rude or ignorant people. Most of us here have been through it. We just like to give our insight and save somebody else from going through the pain and heartbreak we went through. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 I pop in once in a while their. It helps me understand them. And I kinda give them a lil insight as to why we're not such bad people.. the OW Or in my case, exOW. Anyways, we're not being rude or ignorant people. Most of us here have been through it. We just like to give our insight and save somebody else from going through the pain and heartbreak we went through. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 I pop in once in a while their. It helps me understand them. And I kinda give them a lil insight as to why we're not such bad people.. the OW Or in my case, exOW. Anyways, we're not being rude or ignorant people. Most of us here have been through it. We just like to give our insight and save somebody else from going through the pain and heartbreak we went through. Link to post Share on other sites
aroha Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 people are just posting in their opinions i suppose and here is mine - Life is just too short when there is love there is always hurt its one in the same isnt it, they might have true love, what if the H didn't leave his wife for the OW just to save W feelings then he might of missed a oportunity at true love and he himself would be hurting as well, people are always hurting other people it's part of life too, people are divorcing all the time and not over OW and OM but because it wasn't true love in the first place, Flings are a part of life always has been and always will be, attraction for the opposite sex, how do you think we populate, males and females make up the world, some of us might look down our noses at people who they think do the wrong thing, dress funny, are poor, drive a heap, sleep with married people or who have flings, that is their decision, we are all not perfect, and those who think they are are up themselves and know it too. What ever makes you happy you go for it, thats what i reackon any ways. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 But as I think I've said, if he cheated on his wife for you, what makes you think he won't cheat on you?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveHurtz Posted February 26, 2005 Author Share Posted February 26, 2005 ERIKA2610....I can't guarantee that he won't cheat on me. All I can do is follow my heart. I love him deeply and if I didn't give it a shot, I would regret it. I can't live my life by cliches either...."If he did it to her, he'll do it to you"...not necessarily anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 First off, I don't know how I posted the same message 3 times, my bad Second off, I don't know as to how you won't regret dating him.. I think you will. But I know that no matter how many times you tell someone not to do it, they'll do it anyway. I did. My own mother basically turned on me, but I still went with him. I just took from the whole thing, a learning experience and I came out of it stronger. Try to get at least that out of it.. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts