abcxyzzz Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 I am planning to get divorced and wanted to clear up a few things before completing the paper work. I am thinking of doing it myself instead of going through an attorney, hopefully it will be no contest with my wife. Dividing the assets is where my questions fall. I live in California which a a community-property state: 1. I bought the house in a few months before we got married. At the time, only my name was on the title, and my name and social security number is solely on the mortgage (even to this day) - so 100% liability rests with me in regard to the mortgage. A couple years ago, she wanted her name on the title in case something happened to me (i.e, death). Does her name on the title now deem her to HALF the property or is it still considered "Separate Property" and technically mine? I don't have a problem to pay her back whatever money she's put into the mortgage since she is working, but wondering if she's entitled to HALF being that her name is on the title. 2. I take care of all the Finances, so she doesn't know where all our money is or even how much we have. I have a couple of brokerage accounts, and several bank accounts (I've showed her a list of some of the bank accounts, but not all) and she's not aware of the brokerage accounts. Is there a way to not declare those? My income is double of her income, so that makes her income equate to 1/3 of the household income. At one point she was unemployed for 2 years and just sitting around not even wanting to find a job, so I started to put away money into some other bank accounts in case the unfortunate day would come where we'd part ways, so I don't feel she's entitled to that (even though that's not what the law would say), so if she doesn't know about it, can I just exclude it when declaring the assets on the forms? 3. Do amounts really have to be calculated out, or if I just tell her, "Look, I'll give you $80000" and she agrees, is that sufficient to put/submit on the divorce forms? (I assume that's what is meant by "No-contest") Thanks for any insight... Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 First things first, you are going to get screwed either way. Especially considering the difference between both of your incomes. Secondly, your idea to not go through an attorney is a terrible one (no offense). Like I said, you WILL get hosed. The attorney is the only person that will limit the amount of screwed you end up. It will be the best ~$10,000 you'll ever spend. I mean.... unless spousal support is more your cup of tea. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Are there children involved? Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 (edited) I take care of all the Finances, so she doesn't know where all our money is or even how much we have. I have a couple of brokerage accounts, and several bank accounts (I've showed her a list of some of the bank accounts, but not all) and she's not aware of the brokerage accounts. Is there a way to not declare those? In some states, any undeclared assets that she later discovers will be awarded 100% to her. So it is a high stakes game. Your choice. Edited July 9, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 (edited) <Hyperbole redacted> It is NOT a good idea to go around asking people stuff like this (much less writing such outrageous declarations on a computer and sending it out to Cyberspace). When you are looking at a divorce, EVERYTHING is open to discovery. Maybe not today, tomorrow, next month, or even 5 years now - but one day, like Solemate suggests, it's gonna bite you, and "it" will bite hard. As the Greeks say: You cannot hide behind your finger. Go see a an attorney - and show the Council what you wrote on this forum. Maybe you need some therapy or something. Yas Edited July 9, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author abcxyzzz Posted July 9, 2014 Author Share Posted July 9, 2014 (edited) No children involved. Yusuaindo, when she was sitting around for 2 years, she WAS NOT cooking and cleaning and doing laundry! I STILL WAS! It's a one sided marriage, I was the one that actually found her job for her even and she only cooks the things she likes (which is like once a week) and cleans the things that bother her. She doesn't know about all the incomes and money because she doesn't care to! She doesn't even care to shop for groceries or care that I was supporting a california mortgage by myself. Anyway, I don't need to go into all the details and you also don't need to judge. She is Bipolar by the way and has Bordeline Personality Disorder and is actually abusive (physically - do you want to see pictures of the scars etc), so I was asking for an objective answer I concluded my initial response with stating that if I offered to give her a certain amount of money and she was fine with it, then is that sufficient? I read that that is called a "No Contest" Divorce. Anwyay, would appreicate productive responses Edited July 9, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator References to redacted postings Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 If, for any reason, your wife gets an attorney and you have not (by trying to do it yourself), you will be screwed. Seriously. If you own property AND have mortgage accounts, protect your assets with proper legal counsel. I didn't have nearly the assets you have and I tried to do my own divorce - only to discover after-the-fact that my husband bribed the mediator in his favor and completely screwed me financially in the process. What you don't know about dividing property in California could end up costing you dearly. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 Why risk moderation or ban by taking pot-shots at our members? Sure, getting that pound of flesh may feel good and assuage one's personal pain to a small degree but we simply won't tolerate it and you'll be gone. Try something else. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 You can't get good legal advice for free off a computer message board populated with people who didn't go to law school. Every state & country has different laws. Whether putting her name on the title constitutes co-mingled assets will vary by state. If there are no children & you will not be paying alimony as long as she agrees to a split after being told all of the facts, most courts will uphold what you have agreed to. When you try to hide stuff, that is where the problems are. Most of the costs in a divorce come from when the parties fight. Look for a practitioner who believes in collaboration & mediation. Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 My husband had his house before we married he had little equity earned on it. He asked if I wanted to get a new home I decided we would stay and fix the house up under certain circumstance because the price was affordable. He was in debt so he had to get a loan on it which started it all over again so we both decided to keep it and put me on the title which we both have contributed. Where we live everything is split in half when divorcing. I do not know what the laws are where you live or if you owning the house before would be in your favor but putting her name on the title could harm your case. Hopefully she will be honest about the reason you did it and they will consider that I would defenantly call an Attorney. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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