Question about men

[karlym3]

When a guy says he doesnt want a relationship at this time .... does that mean its definately not gonna happen. Do u wait it out or.. move on. ANy stories from ya'll where you wound up getting the man anyway. despite his initial statement?? What did you do to change their mind...??????? Or is it a lost cause?

[meejessica]

[color=indigo]Well to me that says he's not ready to be serious, settle down, u know, or maybe he's not interested in you, or maybe he's just coming out of a relationship. Could be lots of reasons.

 

Try hanging out w/ him just as a friend to try and find out why he doesn't want a relationship. Communication is the key, asking him could possibly answer your own question. : ) But for sure I would back off him if he made it clear to you that he doesn't want a relationship. Back up but still be there for him as a friend. Maybe if he and you still wanted, later things could possibly take off!

 

Just my opinion

 

~Jess

 

: ( [/color]

[Hund1976]

I would usually take it as meaning "I don't want a relationship with YOU right now"

I remember actually saying that to a girl once, I liked her but I didn't really think we had potential for a relationship. Anyways I ended up meeting a different girl about a week later and got into a relationship with her. So I would take it as a nice way of saying he's not interested in a relationship with you.

[meejessica]

[color=indigo]Sorry to say, that's how I would take it too. [/color]

[dan123]

I've said that before to a girl, and it definatly wasnt going to happen, she totally wasnt my taste.

 

if he isnt attracted to you i would'nt plan on anything happening. Most guys are looking for a certain kind of girl, personality and look, maybe you have a big nose or something hat juswt bugs him or you have an annoying laugh.

 

So either that or he just plain isnt ready for a relationship, in that case if you want him than stay friends with him and slowlely try to get closer or something, i dunno.

[Guest]

I had a guy tell me that once and now we are engaged.

 

We started out as friends, dated a bit, then went back to friends. I finally just came out and asked him what was on his mind and he said he wasn't ready for a relationship. We continued to see each other on a friendly, casual basis.

 

Then, one night, we just both kissed (hadn't done that before,) and then started regularly dating. We are both nice looking but not really physically attracted to each other. We are more emotionally and intellectually attracted to each other. We have alot of the same values and goals. Women always chased him, but because I was more just laid back and let him "steer the boat," things worked out nicely.

 

Good things come to those who wait. Men prefer to do the chasing ... I know that sounds like something our grandmothers would say - but it is true.

[insearchofhope]

There could be many reasons why a guy might say “I’m not ready for a relationship at this point in my life” Many women fall victim to the age old myth that guys are afraid of commitment, wrong! Put the right kind of carrot in front of us and we’ll be inclined to eat and keep eating. For example:

 

1. He could have just ended a relationship and needs to get his head straight.

2. He may not trust you as a female at first and therefore needs to test the water.

3. He might be playing the field and doesn’t want to put all his eggs in one basket.

4. He may see your relationship as purely platonic or sexual and wants nothing more.

5. He might be using you to cheat on his partner out of spite for something.

6. You may have said or done something that really freaked him out causing him to re-evaluate your relationship.

7. etc.

 

My advice to you would be to ask him what he is presently looking for in a relationship? Maybe discuss how he defines your relationship presently and where he might see it in 3 months, 6 months, a year? However, you can only ask the later after spending some significant time with him and really discovering each other on a soulful level. Otherwise he might think you’re rushing him into a commitment. Whatever you do, do not rush into things sexually, ever. Get to know him first, what makes him tick, his beliefs, morals, how he was raised. Once you know who he is and what his true intentions are, provided he has been honest, you can decide if investing your time in him is worth the effort.

 

Hope that helps. =)