ponchsox Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 My gf of 1.5 years dumped me 9 months ago after 1.5 years. Her reason was she wasn't given me what I deserved. Translation = I'm seeing another guy. We went NC for 9 months now she wants to be friends and "hang out?" We talked on the phone and she seemed really excited about catching up. Why would someone who rejected me suddenly want me back in their life? Link to post Share on other sites
elseaacych Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 The relationship didn't work out so now she's looking for some familiar grass. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
changchewsoon Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Yes, sounds pretty much like the other side didn't work out and she wanted to come back to someone she is familiar with. If I were you, I'll just continue maintaining NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Mangiafuoco Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Yes, sounds pretty much like the other side didn't work out and she wanted to come back to someone she is familiar with. If I were you, I'll just continue maintaining NC. What's the point on this? Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 My gf of 1.5 years dumped me 9 months ago after 1.5 years. Her reason was she wasn't given me what I deserved. Translation = I'm seeing another guy. We went NC for 9 months now she wants to be friends and "hang out?" We talked on the phone and she seemed really excited about catching up. Why would someone who rejected me suddenly want me back in their life? she doesnt want you back, she broke up with the other guy and you are like an old teddy bear, familiar and comfortable but not exciting, but she is feeling a little down and she is thinking she will hang out with you for awhile, maybe get an egoboost by seeing you are still hooked on her and once she meets someone else you will be tossed away with no thought to the pain she may have reopened. either ignore her or send her a text saying "fool me once shame on you. fool me twice shame on me." seriously. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Why would someone who rejected me suddenly want me back in their life? It's possible that she actually likes you as a person and thinks that after 9 months of no contact, you would both be over it and at a healthy enough place to be friends. You don't have to think the worst of her. Her intentions might be good. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JimmyWeezy Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 9 months is a reasonable amount of time for the dumper to get in touch. I don't know why you guys broke up, but really it's up to you to accept or decline. Do you want to be friends? Do you need it? Would you like to? Are you ok and ready to see them with friendly eyes and heart? Ask yourself. Then decide 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sugarlove Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 If someone dumps you.. why would they want you as a friend? I guess the others are right, you are her "just in case". I always think it's hard to be friends with people I've been physical with and have some love leftover from a failed relationship. But if you reckon you are strong enough to handle the rejection, which it is since you are now friendzoned, go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 her reason was she wasn't given me what i deserved. Translation = i'm seeing another guy. nc nc nc. Nc nc nc nc. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 My question is why did she even have an avenue open to contact you, shame on you OP. Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 My question is why did she even have an avenue open to contact you, shame on you OP. hey that is pretty harsh on him. I have made it very hard for my ex gf to contact me - changed number, job, blocked on fb - but if she was ADAMANT about contacting me she would be able to - I always go to a great supermarket and do my shopping there and she knows which one - if SHE REALLY WANTED TO CONTACT ME she could just stake out the place for a week and eventually she would see me. it hasnt happened cos she is not adamant about wanting to contact me. if your ex wants to contact you and feels they HAVE TO they will find a way. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarlove Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Pride and Ego.. sigh.. is the reason why both parties are not speaking to each other. I have left all my avenue of contact open since he dumped me. I don't feel a need to make an effort to block anyone and if I"m over him, I'm over him, there's no need to block or delete. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 This could set you right back if you see her. Do you want to hear gory details of her RS? The hidden but obvious comparisons? She may want an ego boost? It's yours to call but I hope you don't get hurt. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 My question is why did she even have an avenue open to contact you, shame on you OP. This.^^ OP why didn't you delete your ex from your phone and social media after she dumped you, if you knew her contacting you again would upset you? Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 My question is why did she even have an avenue open to contact you, shame on you OP. How is a dumper supposed to come and say they want you back if there's no possible avenue of contact? I'm not saying that's what's happening in the OP situation, but in general based on your comment. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Moonborn Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 There is no way to block somebody permanently. They could make an alternative email address and send you email with that. Or text you from another phone. Or make a new dummy facebook account. Etc etc etc. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 I've been both a dumper and a dumpee. In neither case did I run back to anything previous or "familiar." I just don't understand that at all. When I need an ego boost I go out with friends and most likely, I will get hit on by men ... that's one way I bounce back. Yes, I pined and begged for my most recent ex to reconsider a few times after our BU but he was the only exception and that seems pretty typical for any dumpee to do. It's not the same as going back after another RS doesn't work out though. Once I move on, I move on. Link to post Share on other sites
MrWhite Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Could be new start, OR, you could reject. You get to choose this time! If you still like them, what the heck. You could reconnect. (start over - new - fresh start) You could be two different people now. It could be a "ego boost" for you also. Have fun with no intention or expectations of "getting back together". Just have fun, hang out, and see what happens. If you hold a grudge, deem what they did as unforgivable, or cannot get past from what happened before; Reject and take the high road. Say what you need to say, or, just 100% ignore all communication. Link to post Share on other sites
symphonyofwolves Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 If you still like her, I'd give it another shot. Not too many people get a second chance at a love lost or potential love. Go for it! Just start over. Fresh new slate:) Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 If you still like her, I'd give it another shot. Not too many people get a second chance at a love lost or potential love. Go for it! Just start over. Fresh new slate:) She dumped him, it's up for her to make that move. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jiivy Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 Think about this question for a while. I don't mean some quickfire, off-the-cuff response. I mean really sit down for a few minutes and think about it: How much do you respect yourself? It is not ok to be treated the way that you were. It's also ok to forgive people and give them another chance...but taking someone back who's wronged you without any apologies or explanation is just plain stupid. A second chance isn't going to work if you and your ex haven't identified what was wrong with the relationship, openly discussed it and have both committed to working on it. So, can you truly be their friend, or do you still want something more? And is it fair if you two have different agendas to keep playing that game? Because jeez, if one of you only wants to be friends and the other doesn't...that's a losing situation for the both of you. Commitment is an easy word. But it's one people seem so unable to understand. Link to post Share on other sites
changchewsoon Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 What's the point on this? Seems like occasionally we still get the one post accounts around here. Let me repeat myself again, it sounds pretty much like the other side didn't work out and she wanted to come back to someone she is familiar with. So my advice is to continue maintaining NC. Link to post Share on other sites
MrWhite Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 (edited) "Why would someone who rejected me suddenly want me back in their life? " I do agree with the other posts here. Old territory, rehash, old type of relationship is something she wants now, familiar ground, rebound ?.... Use it to your own advantage. Why not simple ask her? "You dumped me and now want me back in their life?" Nothing to lose here especially if you do not want her back. Opportunity for you to get answers and closure? Edited July 14, 2014 by MrWhite Link to post Share on other sites
Author ponchsox Posted July 14, 2014 Author Share Posted July 14, 2014 The funny thing is she's initiating more conversation with me now as "friends" than she did when we dated. Maybe she's realizing she screwed up and she's trying to win me back? It doesn't matter because I will never go back in a relationship with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Summerrose2013 Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 Sounds like you have already opened contact with her? I have to agree with others, the remorse seems to set in a lot later with the dumpers and usually after their other RS has bombed or they are getting bored on their own, no one else has come along, and they want the comfort of a fall back on someone who they feel will stroke their ego. I don't know about others definitions of friends, but honesty would be right up there for me and anyone who has cheated doesn't tick this box. Find someone new who deserves your fidelity and move on. I bet you were doing well until she reared her head again. Link to post Share on other sites
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