Author smile95 Posted March 15, 2005 Author Share Posted March 15, 2005 No I do not want to hear those things....the thing is if he does call it will be him tryig to get me back and that would be bad too. I found out today after much research that he is Narcissistic. It is actually a mental disorder and I am in shock right now. At least it tells me that this was not my fault. It is hard since I love him, but he will never be who I need him to be. How are you feeling?DO you still cry? Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 What do you mean after much research? Did you talk to one of his doctors? If not, how could you know for sure? Maybe if he does have this mental disorder, then it would help explain his actions though... Nope, he won't be who you need him to be. So happy that you're seeing it even if it's hard!! Keep keeping yourself busy. Overly busy. But also, don't forget to feed your emotional side too by talking about what you're feeling and writing about it. Do you keep a journal? It helps to see your progression from feeling crappy to feeling better. When I look back in my journal, I see that I knew my relationship with my ex wouldn't work a year into the four-year relationship... If only I had listened to myself earlier!! I'm doing OK (had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics though and back to the doc today). More new meds. Ugh. I don't cry over my ex at all anymore. It makes me sad that it didn't work, but we originally broke up in April, were apart for 6 months and then back together in Oct-Dec. So, it's kinda starting to feel more normal. Sometimes it feels like we've been apart almost a year (since April is just around the corner) and at other times, it feels like the 2 1/2 months that it is now. Now I'm trying hard to focus on myself; getting out of this depression. Going to the therapist, the gym. Cleaning up my apartment, going to the grocery store, simple things. Rearranging my apartment, hanging out with friends, etc., etc. I am hanging out with a new guy too. Keeping him at quite a distance though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted March 15, 2005 Author Share Posted March 15, 2005 Hey! My therapist pretty much told me that he had this from the signs. Ther are 9 signs and if you have 5 or mor you have this. It is sad acatully and scary that he is like this to a T! I am trying to keep busy and it seems to be getting easier, but, I have my moments where it is tough. I am reading stories about wives who married narcissists and it is my life...them not asking how dr appt went, not asking baout your day, bragging, ignoring, needing validation of love, etc. It is weird. Glad to hear the news you sent in the PM! I really am trying to stay busy....but .... want him to call me even if I do not answer, just to know that maybe he did care??? But, if he does not, I am at least able to move on knowing this was not my fault and the way he treated me was very wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
ChristineNL Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 Go out with your girlfriends! Listen to the music u listened b4 u met him i know it makes me feel better^^ Link to post Share on other sites
dan123 Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 beth, can you see youself waking up in the same bed with him in 20 years from now, do you love him enough to spend the rest of your life with him IF he did change and you guys found a common ground? If so I'de say give it another chance. Sometimes love and the relationship can be better and stronger the second time around. Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted March 18, 2005 Share Posted March 18, 2005 Originally posted by dan123 beth, can you see youself waking up in the same bed with him in 20 years from now, do you love him enough to spend the rest of your life with him IF he did change and you guys found a common ground? If so I'de say give it another chance. Sometimes love and the relationship can be better and stronger the second time around. Dan, I don't get this post. Why did you tell her to give the guy a 2nd chance? He hasn't returned her last call, or responded to her last text at all. Beth, I tend to agree with Christine. Go out with your girlfriends and for the time being stay away from the music that reminds you of him. Ah, I see, your therapist told you about the signs. Yes, knowing this info must help about why he treated you the way that he did. Keep yourself busy girl! Remind yourself that this too shall pass... Link to post Share on other sites
LaKeiShA Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 hi beth.....it must be really hard for you. but atleast you have lived past 5 days, i broke up with my boyfriend (he is actually married) i dont even want to go into the reasons why i was so so stupid in going out with him in the 1st place! anyway, he has not texted me back or called, i guess he is thinking i will call him back and he might just turn the tables on me. he had started comparing me with his wifey and making rude comments to me that really got me agitated...the ferking thing is that he is my workmate( another stupid reason for me to have gone out with him,) i know its completely wrong for me to do this because of my christian values too, and anything but to put anything that God has put together asunder! its a sin....so you see im dealing with the 1st day crisis. but this too shall pass. silence works for me. its ok. hey im sorry@ beth. everything will be alright.i believe there is a reason for everything...and shamen im impressed because you really uplifted her spirits.i think thats cool. anyway people, have a blessed easter, and thank God that he sent his son to pay the ultimate price for our sins! Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted March 27, 2005 Author Share Posted March 27, 2005 thanks! You need to hang in there too! Shamen and Merin have really helped me. More than I can explain. I am not sure if you read, but my ex was sep -technically married and I know what you prob went thru. I can see I am getting over this, but I have bad and good days. One day I am a mess and the next so happy. But I actaully had a co-worker tell me that I seemed so much happier the last month. About a month ago we stopped talking. I am so relieved of the drama and emotional conflict that went with it. I am catholic and struggled with sinning as well. It is tough, but I also believe things happen for a reason and maybe it will take a while for me to see it, but I know there is one. Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Lakeisha, I'm sorry that this has happened to you. Keep your chin up and know that you totally did the right thing! Stay strong and if you need to, post a new thread on your situation and we'll help you through it. Beth, I'm glad that our discussion has helped you. You seem so much better even through your posts these days. I'm so happy for you! Soon enough you will have more good days than bad... soon enough. The clouds are beginning to clear for the storm that you've been living in... Link to post Share on other sites
Author smile95 Posted March 27, 2005 Author Share Posted March 27, 2005 I really am improving, but still have days where I feel so alone without hearing his voice(talk about himself-lol). If I were to call it would really set me back so much and I would go thru the pain of being ignored again. I am sticking to this! I have to. Happy Easter! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts