Author Eternal Sunshine Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 I will go hiking with them next weekend - I enjoy hiking so don't have to force myself. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I say no to my coworkers almost everytime, they haven't stopped asking I get all the socialization/gossip I am truly interested in work and in the occasional outing w/ the coworkers or my bf's friends. I'm not interested in hanging out w/ people every weekend, it sounds exhausting! I'm a loner and introvert and it doesn't bother me at all. My bf is an extrovert so he often goes out w/o me and I'm thrilled to have the apt to myself those nights lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Eivuwan Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Sometimes I think it's difficult for introverts to find each other because we're too busy being introverts lol. Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Sometimes I think it's difficult for introverts to find each other because we're too busy being introverts lol. The internet is a beautiful place for introverts! Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 An introvert likes his peace and quiet or alone time, and they do get drained if having to be social quite a bit. But I do think introverts have to almost force themselves to get out there to socialize because it's not in their nature. If they don't, they become isolated, have no/few friends, and no one to connect with. Everybody does need people to connect with, even introverts, so I would suggest that you accept social invitations when you can, and stay for as long as comfortable. Better to attend for a short while than never to come at all. If you don't show up for parties, etc., when invited, people will think you are anti-social and don't want to be with them, and they will stop inviting you. That's not a good thing. Force yourself to socialize. Introverts tend to isolate themselves, and that is not a good thing if it is done to excess. Would you identify as an introvert or an extrovert? I get plenty of social interaction as I'm friends with people who understand. I'm fine with the few friends I do have and do not feel the need to be the life of the party or have 20 different people messaging me at the same time. It's funny because my brother is the exact opposite and needs to be around people and will invade your space while I'm okay in my little corner and speaking when I feel it's appropriate to add to a conversation. While saying that, I do enjoy myself at parties or going out, however, I will also need about a day to recuperate, sometimes an entire weekend. If someone is literally forcing themselves to go out, they won't have fun or enjoy it. We go when we want to Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I am SUCH a loner! Sure, I get lonely on occasion but not often. I feel the same as you, I'm around people at work so outside of work I just want to chill & be by myself. Seems people I know or who want to hang out with me are obsessed with either talking about their RSs or talking about why they're not in one. And frankly, I could care less. There is so much more to life than being in a RS!! Yes, I was crushed by my ex & spent the first 6 months after the BU in tears. I was a wreck! Then over the next 6 months I came alive again. With newer better perceptions about life & what truly matters. It has now been one year since my BU and during the past 6 months I have been a happy recluse. Lol I go to movies, dinners, shopping, all alone & it doesn't make me at all depressed. I say no to people asking me to hang out ALL THE TIME & never feel the least bit bad about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Standard-Fare Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I will kind of go against the grain here and say that you've GOT TO push yourself to be social, even when it's against your instincts. This is coming from a fellow introvert who has to push myself to do the same. But look, I think as you get older you just have to force yourself to do some things to keep your sanity and mental health in check. Exercise. Being sober more often than not sober. And interacting with other people in both casual and meaningful ways. Getting too coiled up in your own mind is never healthy... it causes you to lose your "personality," since you end up only existing for yourself, and letting your interior dialogue guide all your actions. You need other perspectives. You need to bounce your ideas and humor off other people. Also, being on your own too much can make you get too rigidly set in your ways, like, "Well every Wednesday I'm going to order takeout from this place at 7 pm and watch this show, and if anyone interferes with that I'll be pissed." You've got to be more flexible with your schedule to allow for new people and things. Trust me, I struggle with these things myself so I know it's not easy. Just sharing my thoughts. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I could have written that OP ES I'm starting to have friends in this here town whom I like to see even when I am tired. They are few and far between and they respect the fact I am an introvert. I also made them in spite of the fact that I have refused or cancelled many many plans in the last year. A part of me feels like I should be going out more. I would like to meet a partner and I'm pretty sure he isn't going to show up on my doorstep. At the same time, I'm trying to respect my own needs. Like you, my job is very social and this year it is particularly demanding. Things should ease up starting January and, who knows, maybe I will become a social butterfly again. Link to post Share on other sites
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