steel74 Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 My boyfriend thinks it is ok to give other girls rides on his motorcycle. I haven't even rode on it. It would be an all day ride. Wouldn't this be consider a date? It just feels wrong to me and disrespectful. Please give me input. Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 It's not cheating. You might feel it's disrespectful, and if so you should make it clear to him. However, it is, most definitely, not cheating. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Concur. The behavior could be anywhere from appropriate to inappropriate, depending on the agreement amongst the couple but, in order to be cheating, he'd have to be doing two things: 1. Doing something you otherwise feel is inappropriate in your relationship and 2. Deceiving you as to performing that behavior or action, in this case knowing you don't like him giving girls rides and doing it anyway without your knowledge or consent. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 No, not cheating. The only way it is wrong is if he is telling you that you can't ride with him, then going off and taking other people for rides. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 Why do they have to be all day rides? Why haven't you gone on the motorcycle? No it's not cheating but there do seem to be problems in your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 A day-long motorcycle ride isn't cheating, per se, but other things that happen that day might be. Sounds kind of like a date to me. I sure wouldn't be too keen on my SO dating others. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Elle1975 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 My boyfriend thinks it is ok to give other girls rides on his motorcycle. I haven't even rode on it. It would be an all day ride. Wouldn't this be consider a date? It just feels wrong to me and disrespectful. Please give me input. I don't know the context. From what you're saying though, it seems like a date. Would need more info. Link to post Share on other sites
marcjb Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 (edited) Even though it's probably not physical cheating, it is emotional cheating. He is not making you a priority, there's absolutely no reason why he needs to give other girls a ride on his motorcycle. Even if you have ridden on it, it still wouldn't be right for him to just be giving other girls rides on it. If you are not enough for him, you should tell him to find someone else that will tolerate his behavior because you deserve better than to be treated as an option, or just another one of his "friends". Edited July 12, 2014 by marcjb Link to post Share on other sites
mercy Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 My boyfriend thinks it is ok to give other girls rides on his motorcycle. I haven't even rode on it. It would be an all day ride. Wouldn't this be consider a date? It just feels wrong to me and disrespectful. Please give me input. Are you this mans number 1 woman? Do you feel like the most loved woman in the room Are you cherished, are you loved, adored. These other women in the whole scheme of things are unimportant unless HE gives them something to feel important about. Me, I'd step back from the situation Link to post Share on other sites
I am Bud Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Dear steel74 It would be interesting to see how he feels if you were to give guys rides in your car. I'm not sure how you feel about fabricating a story in order to test this theory out but the next time that you are going to meet him, and he calls you to see why you are late, just tell him that you are dropping off a guy called Derek that you met in the mall and that you will be right there. If he asks you who he is, just say that it's just a guy who came up to you and said that you had nice hair or something and that you found him charming so you decided to give him a lift. (just a story mind you) If your boyfriend starts getting a bit antsy or jealous about it then he will know how you feel and you will have some leverage over him to demand that he stop giving rides to girls. Mind you this social experiment could backfire and he could be really cool with it. (which I doubt) but in which case you will have to demand a motorbike ride for yourself. Good luck with it - Bud 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 IDK but I will admit when I used to have a bike (I was single and fairly young at the time)I enjoyed giving girls rides on my bike....and would make some sort of pass at them. I didn't give women rides on my bike if I knew they were in relationship for that exact reason...because they were in a relationship and let's face it...perception can be reality to many people. Only you can decide what you are comfortable with but obviously this makes you uncomfortable. I don't know a lot of things, but I do know life is way too short to waste time on people who have no problem overtly providing road blocks in their own relationship. Since you don't go on the rides you can never really know if there is cheating involved however your BF is certainly tempting fate. Take my advice with a grain of salt but if I were you I'd be putting the Kibosh on either the rides, or him. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 See the bike in my pic? I went for a ride on it with the owner about 6 months ago and he's not my fiance, my fiance doesn't have a motorbike! I thought my fiance would be jealous, worried that he'd make a pass or something...but he was perfectly fine with it and told me to enjoy myself, he also told the owner to ride carefully. We had a fantastic day, there was no untoward behaviour, just 2 friends having a blast on the bike. My fiance met us at the pub when we were done. Another male friend of mine has a gorgeous bike I'd love a ride on, but his girlfriend doesn't let him take other females for a ride on his bike, as he's untrustworthy, which I don't blame her for in the least. I wouldn't trust him myself....if only I could get him to let my fiance take me for a ride on the bike we'd all be happy! Seriously, you need to decide whether you trust him or go for a ride yourself, it's fun!! Link to post Share on other sites
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