Recently separated I live in Mexico

[Tammy_Cabo]

Hola everyone. I'm glad I found this forum. I'm a Canadian and live in Cabo San Lucas Mexico. My husband is a Mexican very Latino. We have been separated for about 1 month.

 

 

Basically we had an argument and he left, hasn't been back. That being said he contacts almost every day, he invited me for coffee a few days ago and last night sent me a text saying he would find out what he is working this weekend and let me know so would could maybe go to the pool or beach on his day off.

 

 

He is very pendulum type of person. One minute very angry says 'good luck and adios' next minute inviting me for coffee.

 

 

He started with you are now my very good 'friend' and last chat we had it was more lets go do some things together like we did and see what happens.

 

 

I am very nervous about this because he is all over the place with this.

 

 

I will admit I was and still am very upset about the separation and do miss him a lot. We had a long distance relationship, I married in the end and moved to Cabo from Canada. Thing were great for a while then the wheels kinda of feel off. He is definitely a man that admits to really no wrong doing at all. I do know areas where I did some incorrect things and have admitted to them and taken responsibility.

 

 

I guess my wondering is why does he contact me, why is he wanting to get together in some manner. He is not run around guy and does not make any physical advances towards me except to greet me with a hug and kiss on the cheek which that is traditional for a man to great any woman, friend. At this point his is kind of avoiding romantic physical gestures. We did go for dinner about a week ago and then walked to the beach where he held my hand. He does not attempt at this point to kiss me on the lips.

 

 

I know my approach him and our get togethers by keeping things positive and light hearted and fun. I don't bring up nor does he any 'dicy' subjects and I certainly don't ask him to come home.

 

 

For me in past relationships when I was done with it I didn't call them, nor did I see invite them to do anything or agree to see them.

 

 

I'm trying to reconcile with him in a process of positive attraction, in other words keeps our time together positive and light hearted. I'm not sure what is going here and I know that I can't really see myself as his 'friend'. Anyone have a similar experience? This is my first time with this situation.

 

 

Note he is not dating anyone and neither am I. That's for real.

 

 

Thank you

Edited July 11, 2014 by Tammy_Cabo

[carhill]

Respecting he hasn't been living with you for a month, I'm struggling to get to 'separation', as you and he are apparently in consistent physical contact and you stated he simply left after an argument. A separation is a formal cessation of the marital agreement, even if it isn't always a legal cessation.

 

If you want to be married, state that and what you need to be married. If not, follow whatever the rules are in Cabo San Lucas to end your marriage and move back to Canada or remain in Mexico or whatever you want to do. If you don't mind the current arrangement, go with it and live the single life while he figures out what he wants.

 

Marriage takes two like-minded people who agree on the essentials of being married. It appears you and he have different viewpoints on these essentials. Whether that is resolvable is unknown.

 

I recall, when my exW and I were in MC, our psychologist opined that people separate to get divorced. I don't think that's true 100% of the time but I did see his point, when reflecting on our period of separation. It was easy to grow further apart. It all depends on the couple. Good luck!

[Tammy_Cabo]

Thank you for reply and good advice. A few days ago on Sunday, we spent most of the day together. We went the beach then he came over to my home, he ordered in Chinese food and we watch football game together, he left at 11 PM. He did not try to get me into bed. Which I'm actually glad about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

See what happens. I have my business here so I focus on that.