I don't like talking to people

[Dooda]

As the title says, I don't like talking to people. It's not because I don't want to talk to people, it's because I'm always worried about what they're thinking about me. I can never be myself and 'socializing' just makes me really anxious.

 

I'm very hard on myself because of this... It's like there's something wrong with me. People tend to not like me because I'm very quiet and reserved and they interpret it as me not liking them or thinking that 'I'm better than them' when in fact I actually feel like I'm worse than everybody.

 

I'm coming to the realization that there's no point in feeling guilty about it, though. All it ends up doing is making me feel worse. It's like this constant pressure I'm putting on myself to be 'social'. Whenever I see people who are really social and easy-going I wonder how the hell they do it.

 

I avoid doing activities and living a full life because I'm afraid of people and interacting with people and most of all I'm afraid of people not liking me.

 

I guess I should just NOT care about what other people think and if people don't like me then so be it. There's this constant urge, though, for me to people-please and no matter how much I try to consciously tackle it, I can't seem to surmount it.

 

Can anyone relate? Have you gotten over it? What do you do to stop caring about what others think and start caring more about what you think?

[carhill]

I used to have that problem, not severely but often with strangers, and I fixed it by volunteering for a job where I'd be 'elected' every so often and would have to address a large crowd, mostly unknown, as part of the job and being elected. Forcing myself to do public speaking was a trial by fire that hardened my sensitivity with regards to interacting with strangers. I can laugh now but I recall using the mind trick of imagining the people in the first couple rows as being naked to break the tension, all of which existed only in my psyche.

 

Tip: It's a large world and there are always going to be people who won't like you, or me. That's life! Their existence is no more or less valuable than yours or mine. It's OK to not like other people. Sounds harsh, right? Not really. It's how the world works. Up to you where you take your life. You always have choices!

[todreaminblue]

knowing you cant change perceptions others hold of you , the only perception you can really change is your own.......that not every one has to like you nor do you have to enjoy every ones company.....that you are as good as everyone else........that you remain open to friendships but you dont have to be the life fo the party.......that the right people fpr you will always come your way

 

that if you want to dance like no oen is there you do it.......i saw a video this week and it was o fa woman dancing at a bus stop had to look twice and make sure it wasnt me up there...because that is what i do ...i dont care when i am dancing its like no one is there because i feel joy when i do it.......so i do it...regardless of others......that's how i am now....i am however a multiple personality....lol....i hide out when i need to or the part of em that needs to feel protected hides out...........i accept myself.......thats the biggest thing....so others accept me...and want to spend time with me ..because i make them feel happy too..i normally have to juggle this.....and have tioem fro myself....doing what i love to do ....which is private time meditation.....because i often feel drained aroudn people

 

 

 

but most of all i am happy to be me warts and all...no i do not really have warts....;0) you know what i mean.........deb

[hope2014]

As the title says, I don't like talking to people. It's not because I don't want to talk to people, it's because I'm always worried about what they're thinking about me. I can never be myself and 'socializing' just makes me really anxious.

 

I'm very hard on myself because of this... It's like there's something wrong with me. People tend to not like me because I'm very quiet and reserved and they interpret it as me not liking them or thinking that 'I'm better than them' when in fact I actually feel like I'm worse than everybody.

 

I'm coming to the realization that there's no point in feeling guilty about it, though. All it ends up doing is making me feel worse. It's like this constant pressure I'm putting on myself to be 'social'. Whenever I see people who are really social and easy-going I wonder how the hell they do it.

 

I avoid doing activities and living a full life because I'm afraid of people and interacting with people and most of all I'm afraid of people not liking me.

 

I guess I should just NOT care about what other people think and if people don't like me then so be it. There's this constant urge, though, for me to people-please and no matter how much I try to consciously tackle it, I can't seem to surmount it.

 

Can anyone relate? Have you gotten over it? What do you do to stop caring about what others think and start caring more about what you think?

 

A friend of mine has suffered the same before and Ms Lisa Baker has helped her out of it. Now she more confident and sociable than ever.