Orije Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 So I'm 19 and my girlfriend is 18. We have been in a relationship for a month now. The problem is that she used to use dating apps like Tinder and I didn't find a problem with it because she told me she used to use it, but not anymore. Today I got a facebook message from a guy stating that he was talking to my girlfriend on Tinder and they talked about meeting up and was talking sexual and he had to tell me because she told him that she has a boyfriend and he felt he needed to contact me. Knowing myself i immediately called her to confirm this. She went on to tell me that she was talking to him, but just to have normal talk and he was being an ass. She said she told him that she had a sweet boyfriend and she wouldn't cheat. I told her to be 100% honest about it and she said she was honest. She then began to tell me that she used the app because guys at high school called her ugly and fat, but on Tinder they treated her well and now that she has me, I'm filling in that void and keeping her happy. I feel like i should believe her, but at the same time i don't want to be an ******* of a boyfriend and go through her phone to confirm any cheating. she said she is faithful and she wouldn't cheat, but i dont know if to believe this since it strikes my trust issues. What can i do to make things better? Any advice guys it would help alot Link to post Share on other sites
nousername21 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 I would've replied to him with "pics or it didn't happen" if he didn't send you screenshots. It's unlikely that what he's saying true since most phones can screenshot. What she's saying makes more sense than what he's saying. Though it does seem weird that a guy would get that mad at a girl turning him down over Tinder but if he didn't send proof I wouldn't worry about it. If she really did it, he would've replied with screenshots and if he's on tinder I'm pretty sure his phone can take screenshots. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Orije Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 I did ask for proof or wasn't true. He said he would have showed me, but she removed him from snaptchat and from Tinder. I asked about it to her and she said she deleted the messages, but if she had them she would of showed me. I want to take her word for it, but its tough cause I don't know her activity and if he was the only guy. She said she is faithful. I say actions speak louder than words. Link to post Share on other sites
nousername21 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 I'm not sure how tinder works. I had one for a short amount of time but that's suspicious on both parts. If he had felt inclined to tell you immediately after finding out she had a boyfriend, it seems like he would've screenshoted it then. It's weird on her behalf too though because why delete messages? I personally never delete messages just in case a situation arises in which I need it to prove something. I wasn't even aware that you could delete messages on tinder. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Orije Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 Yes I googled it up, but when you block a person on tinder, their messages from both sides are deleted. The thing that sucks is there is no way to unblock a person and no way to get messages back. So I have to go with what is said. Link to post Share on other sites
nousername21 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Well that makes sense with her story. If she turned him down and he acted really angry, it makes sense that she would block him. I'd say trust her this time but be a little wary. Not so much so that you push her away though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Orije Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 I'm going to see her today at a party. Would it be wrong to ask her to log onto her tinder and show me what messages she does have? To clear up any suspision, cheating and or lying Link to post Share on other sites
Author Orije Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 Nevermind you already answered it on my other thread. Thank you very much. I will update reply after I find out what happens Link to post Share on other sites
nousername21 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Good luck! I know how terrible trust issues are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Orije Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 Quick question. Should Iask just to see her Tinder, or ask to see text messages on tinder, facebook and snapchat because what's not on one can be on another. What exactly should Isay to her so she can let me go through her phone? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 You don't have trust issues. You are thinking clearly & rationally. People who have trust issues suspect the worst even in the face of evidence to the contrary. You have valid reasons to worry & are appropriately concerned about her deceptive behavior. She has broken your trust. Question now is what is she doing to earn it back & are you willing to let her try? It might not be worth it. Anybody who boosts their own self esteem & seeks validation from random guys on Tinder might not be all that. Link to post Share on other sites
Zeurich Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 So I'm 19 and my girlfriend is 18. We have been in a relationship for a month now. The problem is that she used to use dating apps like Tinder and I didn't find a problem with it because she told me she used to use it, but not anymore. Today I got a facebook message from a guy stating that he was talking to my girlfriend on Tinder and they talked about meeting up and was talking sexual and he had to tell me because she told him that she has a boyfriend and he felt he needed to contact me. Knowing myself i immediately called her to confirm this. She went on to tell me that she was talking to him, but just to have normal talk and he was being an ass. She said she told him that she had a sweet boyfriend and she wouldn't cheat. I told her to be 100% honest about it and she said she was honest. She then began to tell me that she used the app because guys at high school called her ugly and fat, but on Tinder they treated her well and now that she has me, I'm filling in that void and keeping her happy. I feel like i should believe her, but at the same time i don't want to be an ******* of a boyfriend and go through her phone to confirm any cheating. she said she is faithful and she wouldn't cheat, but i dont know if to believe this since it strikes my trust issues. What can i do to make things better? Any advice guys it would help alot Hi there, First of all admit that you are still 19, your life still just at beginning in the sens of relationship world but there are lot more and more to come! If you have seen her for a month there is nothing established, and also if you experience this at the beginning I don't think that I need to tell you what to expect in the future! Relationships always a challenge but if you are experiencing trust issues, better you hit a full stop and move on. I am sure like her and you appreciate her presence with you but just think clearly does it worth? May be there is a beautiful relationship waiting ahead for you! Don't think that you can make things better in a relationship, what is more important for a relationship trust between each other and if she really care for you does she do flirt chatting? Does she ever need a chat programs other than that what she use to keep in touch! Don't let love to make you blind and take your common sens away from your body with giving that butter fly tingeing feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts