Mr3putt Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 My wife of 1 year cheated on me with an old friend of hers (ONCE) and she cant bare to look a me due to guilt. I want to work things out as I realize people do make mistakes and make stupid decisions. She was expecting me to throw her out the house (which I didn't do) and now we are going to separate for a few months so she can try get over the guilt of screwing me over. She said that she couldn't look me in the eye after what had happened and needs space from me. My wife doesn't want a divorce yet. I don't really know what to do after we separate. Is LC an option? Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 (edited) That's great about what she needs and doesn't want yet...but what is it that you need? And want, and deserve? I wouldn't accept what she's offering...which is nothing. You're worth more than that, Mr3putt. For example, what is her plan for "trying to get over" her guilt? Why does she think, believe she can do that more effectively just because you're living separately? Assuming you've offered real forgiveness and a genuine chance for a do-over, as it were...why is she sabotaging her marriage by not accepting your forgiveness and giving you her solemn promise that it will not happen again? There is an excellent web resource for overcoming infidelity...which I've had to delete because it's against LoveShack policy to name it (I just found out through a PM from management.) So...Google "infidelity support" and just do your own research and choose whatever resource you feel is best. Then tell her you expect her to use it with purpose and diligence...and to seek counseling for her self-sabotaging habits...or you are the one who wants a divorce...now. Don't put up with crap; don't tolerate so much less than is fair and proper. (Also for yourself...read up on everything you can about overcoming infidelity, guilt and shame, why people self-sabotage...why you don't feel worth and worthy of more than this...why you don't or can't ask for what you want, need and is fair and proper. Stuff like that.) Best of luck. Edited July 13, 2014 by Ronni_W the thing about LS policy preventing sharing a very excellent resource. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 She was expecting me to throw her out the house (which I didn't do) and now we are going to separate for a few months so she can try get over the guilt of screwing me over. She said that she couldn't look me in the eye after what had happened and needs space from me. Seems strange that she feels guilty about cheating on you but not about leaving you. Is it possible that she's still in touch with her affair partner? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
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