Merin Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 Well as some of you might know I was in a serious car accident on Wed night.. My BF and I were driving home from getting my Dad from the airport (we were actually driving my Dads hoop-tee since my Jetta was stolen in December) Anyway.. I was driving, we were in the right hand lane and changed to the right.. hit some gravel with black ice at about 70 MPH and I couldn't adjust the steering when the car started to fishtail.. it rolled 2x and landed on it's top.. all the windows including the sunroof were smashed out.. the roof was smashed in.. When the car came to it's final *resting place* I remember opening my eyes and I couldn't find my BF.. I was terrified! I was screaming his name trying to find him.. he was climbing out the back window from the passenger front side.. I heard him saying "I'm coming babe, hold on" he came around to the passenger side (the drivers side door wouldn't open) he asked me if I was okay.. could he move me. I said I was okay and he got me out.. we stood there in the dark and the cold in disbelief.. the car was upside down in the middle of the highway.. My BF had his arm around me.. a onlooker stopped and ran over to us.. asked my BF "Where are the people who were driving that car?" He said "You're looking at them" the paramedics arrived on scene.. they looked at us both.. I have a fat lip and an abrasion on my shoulder.. my BF has a scrape on his forehead.. we were treated and released.. My BF never left my side for a minute.. he held my hand the whole time and kept me warm while we waited for one of his boys to come and get us.. once we got to his house, he got my ice for my mouth.. got a hot shower for me and got the glass out of my hair.. I cried my a** off for about 2 hours.. he just held me and kept telling me he was okay.. we were okay and he wasn't going anywhere.. I swear I couldn't tell him enough how much I love him.. He stayed with me all the next day.. took care of things for me.. Since then.. we seem to have gotten closer.. like amazing close you know? I've heard that tramatic events like this can bring people very close even if they had been tight before because of the *bond* I guess you share.. he told me that night that either I'm his good luck charm or he is mine.. he isn't a religious person, but he felt/feels we were/are meant to be together.. So anyone ever have something like this happen that brought you tight with your SO? Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 Wow Merin! I didn't know this. I'm so glad you're okay. You are very lucky to be alive! I've never had anything like this happen to me, so far I've been lucky, but I do believe that when you've been through hell and back with someone, a definite bond forms from it. Traumatic bonding also occurs in spousal abuse and child abuse. It's why so many wives and children identify with and love their abuser. I know it's a completely different experience, but it's true. Once again, I'm very thankful you made it through that in one piece. Btw, were you wearing seatbelts? Link to post Share on other sites
Israfil Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 OMG!!! Merin! I am soooo glad you are ok. (((((((Merin)))))))) I fell asleep at the wheel about 7 years ago - my now ex was in the passenger side seat, asleep. I drifted over into the next lane on the freeway going about 80mph. If there were no passenger side mirror that hit the car in the next lane and subsequently woke me up, he would be dead. I'm not sure it brought us closer - but I never got to drive again! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted February 21, 2005 Author Share Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by Lonestar Wow Merin! I didn't know this. I'm so glad you're okay. You are very lucky to be alive! I've never had anything like this happen to me, so far I've been lucky, but I do believe that when you've been through hell and back with someone, a definite bond forms from it. Traumatic bonding also occurs in spousal abuse and child abuse. It's why so many wives and children identify with and love their abuser. I know it's a completely different experience, but it's true. Once again, I'm very thankful you made it through that in one piece. Btw, were you wearing seatbelts? Thanks Girl I hadn't posted on this.. just PM'd a few ppl who had wondered where the hell I'd been lately lol! I do think the event maybe made us both step back and look you know? Just how you feel about someone.. if anything had happend to him.. OMG I would've flipped out! We were both wearing seatbelts.. no drugs or alcohol were involved either.. yay for that! Thanks again Lonestar Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted February 21, 2005 Author Share Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by Israfil OMG!!! Merin! I am soooo glad you are ok. (((((((Merin)))))))) I fell asleep at the wheel about 7 years ago - my now ex was in the passenger side seat, asleep. I drifted over into the next lane on the freeway going about 80mph. If there were no passenger side mirror that hit the car in the next lane and subsequently woke me up, he would be dead. I'm not sure it brought us closer - but I never got to drive again! OMG Israfil that last line of your reply killed me! Thank you though sista, I'm doing okay.. the lip is starting not to look like a bad botox thing It's just odd.. I mean we (me and my BF) were pretty tight before, but since this has happend.. I dunno, I think he worries more about what could've happend to me.. he calls me everytime I'm in the car since this has happend to tell me to be careful.. wear my seatbelt.. that kind of thing.. I think we've asked one another a million times ''are you okay?" As for your accident Miss thang... LOL I'm so glad you made it out okay too! mad love girl Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by Lonestar but I do believe that when you've been through hell and back with someone, a definite bond forms from it. Not always. It can either strengthen a relationship or destroy it. The hell my wife and I went through losing our baby seemed to bring us closer at first. But in the end it was what destroyed us. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 Thanks Girl I hadn't posted on this.. just PM'd a few ppl who had wondered where the hell I'd been lately lol! I do think the event maybe made us both step back and look you know? Just how you feel about someone.. if anything had happend to him.. OMG I would've flipped out! We were both wearing seatbelts.. no drugs or alcohol were involved either.. yay for that! I was wondering where you had been. Hadn't seen you post in a couple days, but this explains it. Obviously, the seatbelts saved your lives. Yeah, when you or someone you love has a near death experience, it will make you appreciate and love them all the more. Most of the time. My ex would have gone to the bar to be with his friends after dropping me off at home... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted February 21, 2005 Author Share Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by Devildog Not always. It can either strengthen a relationship or destroy it. The hell my wife and I went through losing our baby seemed to bring us closer at first. But in the end it was what destroyed us. I honestly cannot imagine anything more painful than the loss of your baby.. You know how I feel on that DD.. (((DD))) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted February 21, 2005 Author Share Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by Lonestar I was wondering where you had been. Hadn't seen you post in a couple days, but this explains it. Obviously, the seatbelts saved your lives. Yeah, when you or someone you love has a near death experience, it will make you appreciate and love them all the more. Most of the time. My ex would have gone to the bar to be with his friends after dropping me off at home... Seatbelts.. yay for those! LOL I'm trying to keep my sense of humor on the whole thing.. but yeah Lonestar, I can tell you the only time I was this scared of loosing someone in a permanant way is when my littlest person had a non-feberal seizure at 10 months old.. I thought she was dead.. and I'm telling you, it changed me as a person forever... thank God she was okay.. but the fear I felt right then was like nothing I had ever experienced before and had not experienced again, until wed night... Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 Girl, as I already told ya...I'm sooo glad that you two are okay! I can't imagine..I bet you were so terrified! I'm sorry so sorry that you have to go through so much!!! I am also very glad that you two are so close...I believe that if he was going to "bail" for any reason, he probably woulda done it by now..... I've heard of tragic or scary circumstances bringing people closer together.....I don't have any experiences to share with you but I've heard of it happening! Girl....you know we're all here for ya...I can imagine you were pretty shook up after that incident/accident and I'm glad to know that your little peeps weren't in the car with you! I don't know what else to say except (((((Hugs)))) Things can only get better! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted February 21, 2005 Author Share Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by Barby Girl, as I already told ya...I'm sooo glad that you two are okay! I can't imagine..I bet you were so terrified! I'm sorry so sorry that you have to go through so much!!! I am also very glad that you two are so close...I believe that if he was going to "bail" for any reason, he probably woulda done it by now..... I've heard of tragic or scary circumstances bringing people closer together.....I don't have any experiences to share with you but I've heard of it happening! Girl....you know we're all here for ya...I can imagine you were pretty shook up after that incident/accident and I'm glad to know that your little peeps weren't in the car with you! I don't know what else to say except (((((Hugs)))) Things can only get better! Thank you sweetie I'm very thankful as well that my wee peeps weren't in the car.. OMG I would've for real fliiiipppeeedddd out then! I'm still coping with what happend.. and reflecting on how very lucky we are.. I'm glad you don't have any tramatic experiences to share LOL Keep it that way! BE SAFE! Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by Merin I honestly cannot imagine anything more painful than the loss of your baby.. You know how I feel on that DD.. (((DD))) I can't either Merin. I think you got a glimpse with what happened to your daughter. I wish you didn't have to have even that much of a glimpse. It's something I wouldn't wish on anybody. Seatbelts.. yay for those! And yay for the built in airbags!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted February 21, 2005 Author Share Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by Devildog I can't either Merin. I think you got a glimpse with what happened to your daughter. I wish you didn't have to have even that much of a glimpse. It's something I wouldn't wish on anybody. And yay for the built in airbags!! It is definately something that will stay with me always DD.. as will yours with much harder consequences.. The airbags.. amazingly enough.. they didn't deploy! The paramedics actually told us that had my BF not tucked down when the car rolled it would've been worse for him because he is 6'3 and it was a small car (a prelude) could've gone out the sunroof... and that it was probably my small size (under 100lbs) *along with our seatbelts* that kept me from being crushed against the steering wheel.. I actually have 2 small crosses I always wear (I'm catholic) and I never take them off... although as I said my BF isn't a religious person, he looked at the crosses.. and kissed them both.. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 yes MERIN, i'm glad you are oK, phew. actually many studies have confimed that when couple go thru danger or a extreme negative or scary event together they become closer faster. the pair-bond becomes tighter, so to speak, utilizing sociological terminolgy, heh heh. actualy some psychologist suggest a scary adventure for a first date, such as roller coaster or the like. hmmm...he should be proposing within 7 to 10 days i would guess, Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 the airbag sensors are usually located in the front and rear bumpers, so a roof impact wouldn't set them off. I wasn't refering to those airbags though It is amazing sometimes though. Kind of like the people that get shot, and if the bullet was just a mm either way they would have died or been paralyzed. Makes you believe there has to be someone up there watching over us sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted February 21, 2005 Author Share Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale yes MERIN, i'm glad you are oK, phew. actually many studies have confimed that when couple go thru danger or a extreme negative or scary event together they become closer faster. the pair-bond becomes tighter, so to speak, utilizing sociological terminolgy, heh heh. actualy some psychologist suggest a scary adventure for a first date, such as roller coaster or the like. hmmm...he should be proposing within 7 to 10 days i would guess, Thank you Alpha LOL I'm glad this didn't happen on the first date.. LOL might not have been a second one uh? I did tell him though that he can never say he didn't do anything "exciting" with me now Proposing in 7 to 10 days uh? LOL Well he did tell me to find the vacation for Mexico, he's taking me.. so yay! LOL Mexico is way better than marriage! Again Alpha.. thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted February 21, 2005 Author Share Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by Devildog the airbag sensors are usually located in the front and rear bumpers, so a roof impact wouldn't set them off. I wasn't refering to those airbags though It is amazing sometimes though. Kind of like the people that get shot, and if the bullet was just a mm either way they would have died or been paralyzed. Makes you believe there has to be someone up there watching over us sometimes. Ohhhhhhh those airbags! LMAO Uh.... LOL Yay for boobs!?! LOL My boobs saved my life yay! I do believe it wasn't my time or his.. the reason why remains to be seen.. but ppssshhhh I'll take it! Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 Your blonde roots are showing Merin! LOL Well, I for one am glad it wasn't your time yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted February 21, 2005 Author Share Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by Devildog Your blonde roots are showing Merin! LOL Well, I for one am glad it wasn't your time yet. LOL Thank you DD I'm pretty glad too.. I actually bawled my a** off again when I picked my little person up from school the following day.. To add a little more *wierdness* to this.. I was walking with her to the car, I had told her Gma NOT to tell her about the accident that morning, I didn't want her to worry about me.. and BEFORE I could tell her about what had happend, she told me she had watched that show the medium *I think it's called* with her gma on Wed night.. Then she told me she had a dream about a car wrecking.. I asked her if her gma had told her why I hadn't picked her up in the morning to take her to school.. she said that gma had told her I was running late.. then I told her what had happend.. she looked at me and said "I knew it Mom" Bawled my a** off... that little girl is my heart and soul.. and yeah, I don't want to miss watching her grow up.. or have her back always.. blah I'm such a emotional mess sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by Merin .. blah I'm such a emotional mess sometimes. most females are...that's what makes y'all endearing to us males. Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 Some people believe that children are more intuitive, and "psychic" about things like this. They haven't grown up and been told that it isn't real, doesn't exist or what not. They still believe so they are more open to the signs or messages. Just some people's theories. I don't know if there is any truth to that or not. But I have seen things like that happen before. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted February 21, 2005 Author Share Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by Devildog Some people believe that children are more intuitive, and "psychic" about things like this. They haven't grown up and been told that it isn't real, doesn't exist or what not. They still believe so they are more open to the signs or messages. Just some people's theories. I don't know if there is any truth to that or not. But I have seen things like that happen before. <<IS a believer! My Little people... always my reason(s) love thier little butts more than anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted February 21, 2005 Author Share Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale most females are...that's what makes y'all endearing to us males. Well maybe thats true Alpha.. seriously I bawled my a** off over this for a good 2 hours after we got home on Wed night.. although I know he understood.. he just wanted to make this better for me, and I think it was hard for him because he kept asking me "What can I do for you? What can I get you?" BUT he did exactly what I needed him to do.. understand, let me cry, and held me there.. Actually he did get me to laugh a little too.. and that helped.. but yeah it was just understanding that I was feeling emotional and that being *okay* it helped. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by Merin My Little people... do they have names? or you just call them this collectively all the time. it really pisses me off cause there is this mexican restarurant i go to that has a kids menu called "leetle peeples plates" could you call them something else sometimes too??? Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 Originally posted by Merin <<IS a believer! My Little people... always my reason(s) love thier little butts more than anything. Little peeps, our reason for almost everything. Link to post Share on other sites
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