Moving away from your home for love, would U do it.

[bluechocolate]

from Moimeme

It's best to do when you're young with no ties, actually.

 

Absolutely.

 

Even if you have ties but are young, no children, fluid career, etc. then do it. I would recommend to anyone that the best life education you can ever have is to go & live in a different country, not for 3 months or 6 months, but for at least a year, preferably two (either that or be a waiter for 2 years ).

 

Honestly. What are you so worried about? Family? Family is family - they will always be there for you, Whether it's around the corner or a seven hour flight away. Your mother is still gonna be your mother. And guess what? When you move, not only do you enrich your own life you enrich the lives of the people you love - 'cause they come to visit you, they also experience new things.

 

My mother hated to fly & if the remote control didn't live in her living-room she had no idea how to operate it! Now she's looking up books & making plans & talking about visiting this place & the other. I have to hold her back now, she wants to see & do so much with me & Guy (I'm making up a name now). I know for a fact that my parents lives are far richer because of where I live & in spite of the shaky beginnings & the horrible arguments (they really do become children out of their element!), they can't wait to get on that plane & visit me & my partner & his parents!

 

Toronto to the States - no worries !!

 

Once you do that I will suggest that you look up your grandparents - if any of them were born in the UK or elsewhere in Europe then move again, you're still young enough to take advantage of visa's that are available over here. Honestly. Canada isn't going anywhere - it'll always be there for you if all else fails & you want to go home - in the mean time - go for it!!

[CIE]

i would in a heartbeat if she let me, anyone here wanna beat some sense into my gf and let me be with her? Cmon I already have the required "beat some sense in your SO" stick... oh wait, its just a bat. She said than when she was "ready" she wanted to move here. My big problem is she's not saying why she's not ready.

 

Im in Canada and shes in the States. I love Canada and leaving my family and friends behind is a scary thing. But nothing is permanent, if your bf is only having problems you could go to him until those problems are fixed ( i didnt read the whole thread so i dont know if you mentionned what his prob is) and then you could try canada for a while see how he likes it.

 

So yes, i'd do it. I can always come back to Canada later if it doesnt work out and though my wallet will be thinner and my heart may be broken then at least ill be free to find someone else and not live in a fantasy anymore.

[Jardin]

Well, I have to say that I've moved several times for love, and like anything, it has both up sides and down sides.

 

Know what those pluses and minuses are (which you seem to do) and if you do decide to go forward with the move, do it as intelligently as you can.

 

Some advice:

 

1. Make sure you have a plan to get out of this situation if you do decide to go forward.

 

That means put aside as much money as you need to move now for later. Forget about it and you'll have it when you need it.

 

2. Get a job there first. I know that's not always possible, but you want to be as independent as you can be in a new place.

 

3. After the move, keep your outside interests alive by continuing to do the things you like to do now in your free time.

 

If you like to paint-- paint! Whatever and wherever your interests lie, don't put those things aside for love. At least, not completely. You'll both be happier in the long run if you continue to do these things.

 

4. Keep your friends and family in the loop, both now and later. It'll be your job to keep in touch with them if and when you do decide to move.

 

That may sound harsh, but everyone has busy lives these days and if you don't take responsibility to keep your supports systems in place, it's likely that they either won't be there or will have to be "caught up to speed" if this doesn't work for you.

 

5. Make new friends and build new supports if and when you do move.

 

This will help you get acquainted with the new place and help you from being so isolated. Love is great but as the saying goes,"you can't live on love alone."

 

I wish you luck in whatever you do decide to do. Moving for love can be a grand adventure if you do it well, and a nightmare if you don't. You're young, there's nothing wrong with taking risks-- just be smart about it.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by moimeme

You people sound as though he's a career criminal. She's already been to visit him for several months at a time. There's no reason for her to be 'stuck to his side' and as for being on her own - big whoop! People do it all the time - they move to go to college and nobody freaks out over it. You make new friends. What - if she's in a career where they want her to move for a job, she's to say 'no, I have to only go places where I know people'?

 

Whassup with that? People move to brand new places all the time and do quite fine. It's best to do when you're young with no ties, actually.

 

Well forgive me for thinking that getting in a drunk driving accident and leaving the scene is kind of irresponsible.

 

I was merely saying, from experience, that it majorly SUCKS being involved with someone who is on probation/house arrest/work release.

 

Also, moving for a job, or for school, is one thing - you move with a purpose. My friend K moved here from Philadelphia months ago and all he does is bitch. It's hard to meet people when you are just loafing around, trying to find a job and all that. With a boyfriend with an ankle bracelt on who can't go more than 200 feet from his residence.

[moimeme]

Well forgive me for thinking that getting in a drunk driving accident and leaving the scene is kind of irresponsible

 

Totally agree it was irresponsible. Fortunately, nobody was hurt and I'm assuming that these penalties will wise him up.

 

It's hard to meet people when you are just loafing around, trying to find a job and all that

 

I know, B.O. I've done it twice now. It's hard, yes, but it's not impossible at all. As for jobs, I should've mentioned this before but temp agencies are the way to go when you're in a new place. 'Networking' works if you have an established network but I think it's far less likely to help a newbie.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by moimeme

Totally agree it was irresponsible. Fortunately, nobody was hurt and I'm assuming that these penalties will wise him up.

 

 

 

I know, B.O. I've done it twice now. It's hard, yes, but it's not impossible at all. As for jobs, I should've mentioned this before but temp agencies are the way to go when you're in a new place. 'Networking' works if you have an established network but I think it's far less likely to help a newbie.

 

I like the idea of moving, don't get me wrong, moi....I wish I had the balls to do it sooner, rather than later (I know I'm hoofing it out of this town as soon as psycho ex gets out of prison because he has told me he's going to come after me, and God knows....I'm not trying to fend off his craziness with a flimsy piece of paper restraining order) - my mum moved for love, and was miserable for the first few years of her move, mainly because she dragged herself to a country where no one spoke her language (hah)....

 

I'm thinkin', if ya wanna move, move for YOU - not for love, not for someone else, not for anyone else...maybe I am in selfish FTW mode lately, but I think greenlove needs to move 'cause *she* wants to move, not for love. But then again I have a withered, bitter, blackened little heart. It's a spicy meatball, though.

[RecordProducer]

Well you only have two options: move or not move. You should both decide what to do. You might move temporarilly though and see how things work out for you. It's time for you to take the relationship to a higher level. It might turn out that you don't get along so well once you start sharing everything. If that is the case it's better to know soner than later and stop wasting your time. But I hope all will go well and you will be happy with him. The fact that you love Toronto doesn't mean you won't like it where he lives in teh States. However if you're used to the big city's crowd and he lives on a farm, it might be a more reasonable solution if you request that he moves to Canada. Obviously in this case a compromise is unthinkable. If you try and live with him in his place and don't like it, that will give you an alibi to ask him to join you in Toronto. Why does it have to be his way? Any specific reason for that?

Wish you the best of luck!

[CurlyIam]

BLind_otter you couldn' be more right!!! If you move, it must be because you feel like it. I'm thinking of findng an internship somewhere else in Europe! I want to move to discover the world right now, when I'm still in my 20's (and I am NOT in my early 20's)

 

Most of my friends here in France still live with their parents and have the same bf for at leat 4 years... There's nothing wrong with that, but boy, can't life be a b*tch at times! so you'd better be prepared and have as much fun as possible before!

[greenlove]

You guys are awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Thanks for all the replies.

 

I'll see what happens. I stuck it out this long and I think I would enjoy moving somewhere like Florida. Getting away from the **** cold, hehe. As for moving to some nowhere land nah that an't going to happen. I'm so much a city girl, I'd be miserable. Thank God, my boy feels the same.