Random Messages and Feeling Awkward

[ediebrick]

I am a female who recently moved to a new city and placed an ad on Craiglstlist looking for platonic friends.... I have had a TON of problems with meeting men under the guise of platonic friends, and them wanting to date me after the 1st or second meeting, so I was ery frustrated...

 

I met a lesbian woman who responded to my ad. While we were e-mailing back and forth, I mentioned my boyfriend and she responded "Oh, you have a boyfriend." She knew I was heterosexual (because I said that in my ad) but she didn't know I had a bf, but I didn't think too much about it but it did strike me as a slightly strange reaction

 

Well we have gone out (just she and I) a few times and we get along really really well. She hasn't really made any moves on me, but she has taken me to a restaurant in the countryside and asked me if I wanted to take the scenic or regular route and few other SLIGHTLY romantic things.

 

We text a lot and the conversations are really great. However, one day I didn't text her because I was busy seeing lots of patients and had no time and at the end of the night I received a message that simply said "goodnight" A few other times I received similar messages. Now I am starting to feel awkward but those kind of messages suggest to me she wants more than friendship. Am I misreading her?

Edited July 12, 2014 by ediebrick

[preraph]

Probably not, but you were honest up front, and it doesn't sound like she's totally crossed the line yet by just going on a nice drive and saying goodnight. She could get very attached to you though. I think if I were you, I'd ask her what her type is and just open up the subject and try to find out if she has any girlfriends or is interested in anyone and in the process if she professes her feelings, you will have to remind her you're straight and talk about if it's healthy for you two to keep being friends or whether she can handle it.

 

I had a lesbian running buddy and she never hit on me or anything awkward, but then a girlfriend of hers pulled some crap asking me for a ride out of the blue just trying to make my friend jealous, so there could be some type of drama -- but then isn't there always no matter what the sexual preference.

[I am Bud]

Dear ediebrick

 

It's a bit difficult to determine whether someone wants to pursue a relationship with you from a handfull of text messages like "goodnight". I agree with preraph in that since you are friends, why don't you engage her in conversation about dating and whether she has met anybody? You can encourage her to look for other people and talk up her qualities as a fine individual who has lot's to offer. You can also start talking about how great your relationship with your boyfriend is and that he might make a good husband etc.

 

Don't let the feelings of awkwardness fester inside your mind and don't treat her any different based on that, like for example starting to talk to her less or being more cold. If she is spending all her time with you, encourage her to expand her network. Perhaps even go to a few bars with her were she can meet some nice ladies. Look at it from an angle of positivity and you will work things out with her. If this is not possible then the relationship was good whilst it lasted and move on.

 

When it comes to finding friends have you thought of going to gym classes and having a chat to the ladies there? I'm sure that you would be able to strike a friendship and then have coffee or lunch after a gym/aerobic session. Start joining clubs that you have an interest in and perhaps even invite some people over to your house for a catchup/bbq/lunch? Do you like reading books? You can go to a book club and maybe have it hosted at your place?

 

All the best - Bud