Something's up with my girlfriend. Help!

[suspiciousbutnoproof]

This is only one of the instances that have taken place during my relationship with my girlfriend:

 

All of this took place within one week. On tuesday i had returned to my apartment after work and called my girlfriend. She said she was sitting in her glider in her living room about to drify off as she had had to work that day as well. She asked me to call her at 630 to make sure she was up. I had a strange feeling so i walked over near her house. Theres an alley that goes by her house with several houses and buildings beside the alley so i was able to come over undetected as long as i kept my distance.

 

However i was able to get close enough to see her sitting outside on her carport at the patio table with someone i could not make out and a pickup parked in her drive. I walked back home and called her at 630. During the course of our conversation i asked her what she had been doing since we got off the phone. She said she had just been dozing off and on in the glider. Thursday of the same week i was supposed to spend the night at her house and that morning we were talking on the phone and she told me she had something to show me and did i want her to come to my apartment and show me before i went to work.

 

I said yes. When she got there she said she wanted to show me now because she didnt want me to freak out when i saw her naked that night. She said she had had an accident at work the day before. She said she was in one of the storage rooms of the nursing home she works at and there was an elderly lady trying to get to the other sie of a bed they had set up in there so she could get an air mattress that was on the other side and she had told the woman that she would get it for her since her legs are long enough she could have one on the box spring and one on the floor and could kinda walk across to the other side.

 

Supposedly she was making her way across and her foot went down inside the box spring causing her to straddle the footboard. After her story she proceeded to pull down her pants and show me massive bruises on the inside of her most upper thighs along with some scattered bruises on her lower legs. The next day, friday, i was on my facebook and went on her page and saw the following conversation between her and a coworker which her coworker had initiated. Before i share the convo i want to say that the nursing home gets fed ex deliveries almost if not every week.

 

One day she had went to work on her day off and was mimicking beyonces sexy dance when the fed ex guy caught her dancing. She said she had no idea he was around but he liked what he had seen. She flirted with him and told him they do private shows.

 

Now for the fb convo...

 

Her coworker: fed ex! Need i say more?

My gf: no you need not! Sad he is probably my sons age! He is all yours!

Herr coworker: no way! I just wanna look!

My gf: oh no girl! You have to sign for something even if i have to order it!

My gf: he is sweet enough to get a cavity just looking at him!

I asked her about the fb conversation and she told me her coworker and she were just talking about how hot he is!

 

So what do you guys think? All of this took place in the same week!

Edited July 14, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
added much needed paragraphs, please use them

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

I think with all this sneaking around and spying, you're relationship has some serious issues that need to be addressed.

[suspiciousbutnoproof]

I totally agree but what i was looking for mostly is was this just a coincidence thst all this happened in the same week? Am i wrong to think she did something with the fed ex guy?

[suspiciousbutnoproof]

Obviously if i didnt believe i had good reason to be suspicious i wouldnt have been spying.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

I totally agree but what i was looking for mostly is was this just a coincidence thst all this happened in the same week? Am i wrong to think she did something with the fed ex guy?

 

Sounds like normal everyday girl talk to me. I have similar convos with my gf's at work about men we find attractive. Means nothing. I would never cheat on my guy.

[suspiciousbutnoproof]

Maybe i took it the wrong way but from your response i felt like the culprit for having snuck and spied.

[suspiciousbutnoproof]

I get that. Ive even had similar convos with male coworkers about women. What set my suspicions off was the fact of the truck in her drive and telling me she had only dozed between phone calls and the bruises on her legs combined with the convo between her and her coworker.

[suspiciousbutnoproof]

Thank you Smthn_Like_Olivia

[d0nnivain]

I don't think that any of what you saw read confirms that she had sex with the Fed Ex guy.

 

I agree that the fact that you felt compelled to sneak over to her house is a problem. I don't know why you called her at 6:30 after you knew was lying to you about sleeping because you already caught her talking to somebody else. I would have walked up on the patio to make sure she knew she was caught. You already know she lied. What else is there?

 

The placement of her bruises is suspicious.

 

Ask her how her workers' compensation case is going. A fall like the one she described would have resulted in paper work & required medical clearance for her to return to work. Since a patient was involved there would be all sorts of documentation.

[ExpatInItaly]

I don't think that any of what you saw read confirms that she had sex with the Fed Ex guy.

 

I agree that the fact that you felt compelled to sneak over to her house is a problem. I don't know why you called her at 6:30 after you knew was lying to you about sleeping because you already caught her talking to somebody else. I would have walked up on the patio to make sure she knew she was caught. You already know she lied. What else is there?

 

The placement of her bruises is suspicious.

 

Ask her how her workers' compensation case is going. A fall like the one she described would have resulted in paper work & required medical clearance for her to return to work. Since a patient was involved there would be all sorts of documentation.

 

I agree with this point, too. Have there been problems of trust or infidelity in the past in this relationship, OP?

[firmness]

I think with all this sneaking around and spying, you're relationship has some serious issues that need to be addressed.

 

Whoa! Hold on one minute! A woman who is lying to her man is what constitutes "serious issues that need to be addressed" not necessarily his sneaking around.

 

Holy mother of goodness! I can hardly believe I just read that and OP let it go!

 

Look OP. This is not a trusting relationship. You have a dishonest woman on your hands. To the extent that you had to check on her - never ever do this again! If you feel that something is wrong, then you dump the woman or treat her as a temporary thing. This is what women do to men, so you are within your rights to do the same.

 

Whatever you do, do NOT promise fidelity and cheat anyway. If you cannot handle this sort of relationship where she is screwing around, but you are not, then get out of the relationship.

 

Also - no not ever let a women define fidelity or loyalty for you. She will define it so that everything YOU do is cheating, but everything SHE does is her prerogative and her right.

 

Never forget this lad. Leave this one, she is obviously toxic for you.

 

This will not end well. Start uncoupling right away.

 

This is a tough life lesson about women. We all have to learn this. And it is women like these who make the good women all the more rare and so you should appreciate it when you get a good one.

 

I wish you luck.

[lolablue17]

The only thing here is her lying to you the day before. All the other stuff is nothing.

 

Come on!! your girlfriend is telling you that she is alone while having a male company at her house?!

[Chi townD]

If the injury happened the way that she described, she would have an elongated bruise to the inner thigh. Not a big round one and it doesn't explain the other bruises.

 

 

Plus, her lying to you.....spidey senses are starting to tingle.

[tom670]

You probably should have just walked up and confronted then.

What is there to salvage when she clearly lied.

[Chi townD]

Plus, another thing that's questionable is why did she have to have you come over to show you the bruises. If it was innocent, there wouldn't be need for her to have you over to show you. She would have showed you in her own time.

 

 

I have a feeling the guilt was eating at her and she devised a story. She wants to tell you this story to see if you buy into it. Thus, easing her guilt and putting her fears to rest.

[Space Ritual]

Thursday of the same week i was supposed to spend the night at her house and that morning we were talking on the phone and she told me she had something to show me and did i want her to come to my apartment and show me before i went to work.

 

Wait...What? lol

 

 

Ok I am no expert on bruising but I was a bit skeptical when I read this.

 

OP, between Her lying to you about somebody being at her place, then the pre-emptive show and tell I would be seeing a red flag as well. The FB Convo while it would be upsetting for some IMHO I don't find it as damning...However.....

 

In most cases (if you were married or living together full time) I would advise someone with a similar story to be vigilant and bide their time until they found concrete proof. In this case I cannot for the simple fact that I think if you continue to go into detective mode you are just going to eat yourself alive and possible be subjected to an immense amount of gaslighting. So if I were you I would simply tell her this relationship has run it's course.

 

I don't see anything good coming out of this relationship. Go find somebody new. Life is too short to spend your time playing Columbo. Seriously I understand why you are upset...I would be too...thats why I would just end the relationship now.

[Space Ritual]

Plus, another thing that's questionable is why did she have to have you come over to show you the bruises. If it was innocent, there wouldn't be need for her to have you over to show you. She would have showed you in her own time.

 

 

I have a feeling the guilt was eating at her and she devised a story. She wants to tell you this story to see if you buy into it. Thus, easing her guilt and putting her fears to rest.

 

That was what I was thinking too when I read it...A guilt ridden Preemptive Strike of Gaslighting is what came to mind.

[Diezel]

Sounds like normal everyday girl talk to me. I have similar convos with my gf's at work about men we find attractive. Means nothing. I would never cheat on my guy.

 

I'm sorry, is this thread about you?

 

OP, the whole thing about the explanation of the bruise is VERY shady. VERY VERY VERY shady.

[tom670]

Plus, another thing that's questionable is why did she have to have you come over to show you the bruises. If it was innocent, there wouldn't be need for her to have you over to show you. She would have showed you in her own time.

 

 

I have a feeling the guilt was eating at her and she devised a story. She wants to tell you this story to see if you buy into it. Thus, easing her guilt and putting her fears to rest.

 

I think it's time to tell her you saw her and don't believe her story she is playing you for a chump.

Just my opinion.

[No Limit]

I smell a dumper coming. Unless you like cheaters, of course.

[suspiciousbutnoproof]

Havent been on here for a few days and was delighted to see all the responses. I want to sincerely thank everyone who took the time to respond and the care shown. I pretty much just needed some support to acccept what i already believed to be true and tcob. Thank you all so very much!

[suspiciousbutnoproof]

Yeah. Supposedly it was her lifelong bffs husband who just happened to stop in to check annd see how she was getting along. I will admit it wasnt out of the ordinary for her bff her husband or both to stop in and see how shes doing. But i dont know if i believe it because if it was that innocent why did she tell me all she had done that afternoon was sleep instead of tellig me she had had company? As i said in my initial post that was only one incident during the life of our relationship.

[tom670]

Yeah. Supposedly it was her lifelong bffs husband who just happened to stop in to check annd see how she was getting along. I will admit it wasnt out of the ordinary for her bff her husband or both to stop in and see how shes doing. But i dont know if i believe it because if it was that innocent why did she tell me all she had done that afternoon was sleep instead of tellig me she had had company? As i said in my initial post that was only one incident during the life of our relationship.

 

Why didn't you call her on that and that is the only incident that you know of.

[salparadise]

But i dont know if i believe it because if it was that innocent why did she tell me all she had done that afternoon was sleep instead of tellig me she had had company? As i said in my initial post that was only one incident during the life of our relationship.

 

I think you have very good reason to suspect that something is not on the up and up with this girl. Bruises on her inner thighs, preemptive gaslighting, over-the-top concocted stories instead of straight up facts... plus the other apparently similar things that you haven't shared... all of this adds up to a woman who is disingenuous at the core. Once you know a woman will do that there is only one solution. I wish you better on the next time around. Don't let this make you untrusting of all women. Judge each on their own merits. But don't give liars second chances because the one you caught them in is probably just the tip of an iceberg.

[suspiciousbutnoproof]

No Tom that isnt the only incident that i know of