Roses777 Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 My ex and I started talking again recently, I enjoyed being around her and things advanced to the bedroom a few weeks ago. We were together for 4 years, I had an engagement ring, etc. She started dating straight away (??), was seeing a guy for about a month or so but he lives really far away (1 hour-plus) so they split up. Since then, we hungout last week and it was fun. I wasn't as enthusiastic as I could have been because it had been a long day. it was still enjoyable. Now she might be moving out to Saskatchewan for jobs since she just graduated and cannot find anything here. I don't want her to go but I want to be supportive and non-clingy Despite our trials and errors, she is still the best girlfriend I have ever had. What could I say and do to convince her that I want to get back together and that she would be happier with me again? A few of my behaviours got her upset, such as leaving her after a fight, snooping on her Facebook, etc. I have since changed the snooping and haven't done it at her place recently. This was the important part of last night's conversation: me: yeah if you feel better tomorrow, i'd like to swing by and talk me: Is that cool? her: sure, we'll see how i feel me: Yeah. awesome. her: why do determined to meet up tomorrow? me: Well, I like hanging with you. me: I would like to think it was mutual. me: erm.is. her: sometimes, but whether we discuss things over text or in person the results are always the same me: well, i was sleepy that night cuz it was a long day. just need coffee to awake longer i suppose me: Results? her: ya disappointment me: awww me: well, to make things upbeat, I still like to speak to you if that is okay. me: *would still her: meh ok Link to post Share on other sites
sugarlove Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 (edited) You can't convince someone that you are better now as if you are making a sale, retain your dignity and don't try to sell your image as if you are making a sale pitch. You deserve someone who loves you for everything you are, and not what they want you to be hence her disappointment. She doesn't seem to think that it'll work. So agree with her it won't as you can't put in the effort by yourself. Then no longer make plans to meet up, let her know you won't be begging her again. You can do this. Rejection is hard to swallow but you certainly need someone who won't make you feel like you aren't good enough. Edited July 14, 2014 by sugarlove Link to post Share on other sites
I am Bud Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Dear Roses777 I would have to agree with sugarlove in that your tone and manner of communication is not going to win you any favours with her. It's completely off track because she is no longer in that lovey dovey cutsy stage of your relationship and is showing it through her dismissive texts. I'm not really sure whether your relationship is salvagable or not because her attitude is pretty much blase at the moment however you cannot approach it from a soft feminine angle but a masculine one instead. At the present point in time, the more that you try to appease her by being cute and trying to cater to her whims the more that she is not going to have any respect for you or rather put you into that other exes friendship basket. Just communicate normally with her like a friend and leave out all that cutsy talk like *awww and I like spending time with you blah blah*. Try to get her to see you as a man and not as pushoever and see how it goes from there. Being that she has graduated and is looking for a job elsewhere the cards to this relationship might already have been dealt. Although helping her to find a job is a nice thing to do, you are not going to see her again once she leaves. This could be a blessing in itself since it will force you move on from her. The good thing about your relationship with her is that she has managed to give you a standard which you can use to determine future compatible partners for you. All the best - Bud. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Roses777 Posted July 14, 2014 Author Share Posted July 14, 2014 I guess the "cutesy-stuff" was how we used to communicate together. She is mostly looking elsewhere because she cannot find a job locally. She doesn't have the $600 - $1000 dollars to fly anywhere though...nor does her parents. Her last day of placement is tomorrow so after that, she won't have anything to do anymore. She might even get kicked out of her apartment soon since her cat has damaged the carpeting. But she has around $11K in debts that she never paid off... Link to post Share on other sites
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