Where are all the Single datable women?

[Beatles4]

You see everyone getting togethor, getting married and having kids.

Then theres me still single.

 

I think all my mates think am gay, now I wonder if girls think that too?

 

Where are all the single ladies that *actually* want to date?

 

I just think they are single for a reason, cause most single women I met say they arnt in right place for relationship, or have problems etc.

 

 

I tell you what I need a kick up the backside, because if I dont do something now it will only get harder!

 

Ps am 25 not been in a relationship since 15!

 

 

 

so yeah, I would like some advice on what am doin wrong, attracting a girl and keeping her.

[d0nnivain]

They are all over the place . . .out there living their lives & wondering why they can't find you either.

 

 

what are you doing to put yourself out there? Do you smile & say hello? Are you well-groomed & happy or do you walk around with a perpetual scowl & never look up?

 

 

Tell all your coupled up mates to help fix you up. Their wives & GFs probably would love to play matchmaker.

[somedude81]

Where are all the single ladies that *actually* want to date?

 

They don't exist. It's an oxymoron.

 

I've received a ton of flack for this on the forum, but I strongly believe that if a woman wanted a boyfriend, she wouldn't be single.

 

The girls that are single, don't want to date. That's why they are single.

[d0nnivain]

Granted when I was out there trying to get a new BF, it rarely took me that long but they are out there.

 

 

I still say that the wives & GFs of your buddies are a single guy's best untapped resource.

[Haydn]

Most women have boyfriends. Most men have girlfriends. If either gender is single it means that the opposite gender they meet is not quite right for them. (YET).

[somedude81]

Granted when I was out there trying to get a new BF, it rarely took me that long but they are out there.

 

I was going to say something like that. Women spend very little time actually looking for a BF simply because they have so many options.

 

I'd wager that in the vast majority of cases, the woman that are "single and looking" just recently got out of a relationship.

 

Also, as dirty as it sounds, the girls that most want to be in a relationship are currently in one.

[Scales]

Just like what other posters said, girls who are single aren't that way for long. You literally need to be lucky to get with them. It's all about opportunity and the location that gives you it.

 

That's why striking fast seems to be the current strategy these days. To meet girls you just have to talk to them. If you have trouble meeting them, it means you aren't going out to places to meet them. I don't mean going to a coffee shop where there is 1 cute girl in the whole building and she is glued to her laptop and headphones, I mean go to a place where there will be options all around you where you can work the room and talk to everyone. A place where friendship is the undertone of the event, so you have an easy platform from which to talk to girls.

 

The truth is girls are everywhere. If you aren't meeting them it's because you aren't talking to them because it's scary and you might get embarassed/scared/hurt. At the end of day nobody cares, just get blown up until you win.

[No Limit]

Female and while I'm not actively jumping on every male I meet, I wouldn't anticipate a relationship with a guy.

 

And I agree with the above; TALK. But don't do it if they won't respond to eye contact. And about where to find them, phew... I've traveled to the largest cities in my country to see if people are more courageous there to talk to a girl wandering the streets without an entourage, but, no. I get looks, I got a "Damn she looked sexy"-line from a guy with his buddies as they walked past me, the bravest of the city-boy-herd even sat down a little bit away from me. We noticed each other, we looked for a few moments, and then he got his cellphone and began browsing around.

 

And as soon as you take your cellphone and play the busy dude, all intentions to speak to you are gone. At least that's my side of the story.

 

I've received a ton of flack for this on the forum, but I strongly believe that if a woman wanted a boyfriend, she wouldn't be single.

 

The girls that are single, don't want to date. That's why they are single.

 

Not that true. Me, I don't actively hunt. I'm just waiting for a miracle I believe. A friend of mine on the other hand would love to have a boyfriend, but she's rather shy and there aren't that many good guys in our area anyway.

 

What we both have in common; we can't compete against girls who walk up on guys at a bar, buy them a drink and then go for a ONS or a quickie in the bathroom. I wouldn't want to and she... well perhaps she'd like to but she's too shy.

[insert_name]

They are all over the place . . .out there living their lives & wondering why they can't find you either.

 

 

what are you doing to put yourself out there? Do you smile & say hello? Are you well-groomed & happy or do you walk around with a perpetual scowl & never look up?

 

 

Tell all your coupled up mates to help fix you up. Their wives & GFs probably would love to play matchmaker.

 

You would think so, but this doesn't happen in practice, at least in my experience (and other friends I know). In my case I've not been in a long term relationship for 10 years and if anything my coupled up friends have been a hinderance rather than a help- a recent example being a friend of my friends gf who I clicked with over drinks, I heard from my friend that she told my friends gf that she liked me too but for whatever reason my friend does not seem keen to arrange another meetup and its fallen by the wayside.

 

The best bit of advice I can give the OP is that nobody is going to care whether he gets laid apart from himself. He is going to have to put all the effort in, the main benefit of this being that when he finally gets success at least he will have the satisfaction of having done it all himself and his happiness hasn't been handed to him on a plate- so he may appreciate it more which may help his relationship. I dunno, maybe I just have crap friends but personally I think any guy wondering about meeting women should be getting out there and doing something about it themselves primarily. Go begging to your friends if all else fails.

[insert_name]

Your bros must be really narcissistic and lame. Mine are always looking out for their friends' backs.

 

Possibly. In all other walks of life I find men to be great at working together to find solutions...apart from when it comes to women. I have always found women to be a competition amongst men- even amongst friends, so females are fiercely protected even when the guy already has a partner. That's a pain but the worse thing is when the guys who have partners give me the 'forever alone' banter, easy for them when they are up on the higher ground and have no solutions other than asking me whether i have tried online dating!

 

Ironically I don't hold that attitude myself, I would help out a single mate if I had the opportunity. Not anymore though, hence why I can only advise the OP to look to himself first and foremost.

[El Brujo]

i can only tell you what the situation is like here in Los Angeles... while we don't have any shortage of women by a long shot here in this town, the catch is that most of them aren't interested in meeting anyone.

 

Either they're too busy trying to become the next Oprah, or they're already married---to the educational system.

[firmness]

I have struggled with the state of modern dating, so I get the point OP has made here.

 

On the other hand, I try to remember how tricky it might be for some women. If she walks out into the dating pool "with a mission" she can get labeled inaccurately. I would not want to seriously date a woman who was simply seeking a status of "committed/married."

 

So going out there with the "available and looking" attitude is tricky for both genders.

 

There are about 7 billion people on this planet. There are websites dedicated to just about every predilection a man or woman could possibly have. There are also countless souls simply seeking an honest and real connection.

 

With these odds, it stuns me that so many people still have troubles like this.

 

Humans are strange.

[No Limit]

With these odds, it stuns me that so many people still have troubles like this.

 

One half is intimidated by stories told by friends or the TV of lying, cheating partners and marriages often being pictured as troublesome for both parties. The other half has actually been burned that way already.

 

But I think communication, especially the infamous "first step" is the biggest problem to modern dating. People are afraid of rejection, or have so many opportunities that they just won't go for it themselves, even if these opportunities turn out to be without a future beyond the ONS or FWB.

 

Personally, with myself I see 2 problems. The first one is that I'm conservative about the first step; I won't walk straight across the room and beg for his attention in the middle of a crowd, I want to be talked to first. Doesn't have to be a full dialogue, a "Hello" is enough actually. Problem No. 2 I mentioned above already; young folk focus on sex, not a relationship nowadays it seems. The girls playing with their hair at the bar are perfect for that, girls like me aren't required anymore.

 

So, what else would I do than focus on my education? Financial independence is quite a goal worth achieving.

[firmness]

 

...girls like me aren't required anymore...

 

Yes you are. I am an unabashed geek, nerd, odd ball. Fortunately for me, I am also a former Marine and a bit of a rock and roll style rebel. A small measure of charm and healthy appearance has helped me to get the attention I need.

 

But give me a geeky chick any time. ANY freaking day.

 

Vapid people are for vapid people. That is as it should be. But people of substance are much more interesting to me NL. I bet you and I would at least be good friends if we met - any political differences aside.

[d0nnivain]

but for whatever reason my friend does not seem keen to arrange another meetup and its fallen by the wayside.

 

Your friends facilitate the initial introduction. After that they should get out of the way, not arrange subsequent get together. If you want to see that lady again, YOU need to call her. Expecting your buddy to put you together a 2nd time is the mistake & the reason you aren't making progress.

[KaliLove]

I'm right here!!!

[somedude81]

Not that true. Me, I don't actively hunt. I'm just waiting for a miracle I believe. A friend of mine on the other hand would love to have a boyfriend, but she's rather shy and there aren't that many good guys in our area anyway.

 

What we both have in common; we can't compete against girls who walk up on guys at a bar, buy them a drink and then go for a ONS or a quickie in the bathroom. I wouldn't want to and she... well perhaps she'd like to but she's too shy.

 

Hmm, when you say waiting, does that mean you are literally just waiting or do you actually go to areas where it's possible to meet men?

 

Also being shy is probably the worst thing that can happen to a girl. Too often guys just interpret shyness and as being cold and uninterested. It's totally a numbers game for guys, and we just can't spend time focusing on a girl who shows that she isn't interested.

 

Additionally being in an area where there are few single men of an appropriate age is also a bad thing. Though the easy answer is to just move.

[somedude81]

I'm right here!!!

 

I thought you were dating that dude?

[normal person]

They're at any bar on a weekend night in a young, trendy part of town.

 

Or go online to OkCupid or Match and there are thousands of them.

[Priv]

I have an evil sister. She is 6 years younger, and now studying for her masters. As a kid she frequently crushed on my friends so I supplied a steady supply of guys for her (she was like 8 but still, I did my duty as older brother).

 

 

She never ever ever hooked me up with a nice woman. Not even now with her network being at uni. She doesn't even throw parties. No late night pajama parties with mandatory pillow fights which I can accidently crash, no bikini + pool + BBQ get togethers, nothing. All she does is study study study. I feel she failed as a woman, friend, sister and as a human being for not hooking me up. I am so disappointed in my sister.

 

 

I frequently tell her so, but what can you do. She is family so I guess I have to love regardless.

[sillyanswer]

They don't exist. It's an oxymoron.

 

I've received a ton of flack for this on the forum, but I strongly believe that if a woman wanted a boyfriend, she wouldn't be single.

 

The girls that are single, don't want to date. That's why they are single.

 

Yet I manage to date girls who are single, so your claim isn't universally true.

 

To the OP - I find some women to date on dating websites.

Edited July 15, 2014 by sillyanswer
fix typo

[KaliLove]

They don't exist. It's an oxymoron.

 

I've received a ton of flack for this on the forum, but I strongly believe that if a woman wanted a boyfriend, she wouldn't be single.

 

The girls that are single, don't want to date. That's why they are single.

 

So, so, so very untrue. I am not single by choice. I am single because I can't find a guy who I want to date who also wants to date me.

[MoreCoffee]

Several theories:

 

1) We think we're ready for a relationship but we're really not. We still have work to do on ourselves. ie It's better to BE the right person than FIND the right person.

 

2) What we want and what we truly need is in complete conflict but unnoticeable to us. That or we have tunnel vision not considering people that actually are stepping up.

 

3) There are underlying feelings of unprocessed guilt/shame/anger/frustration

that we might not recognize that is coming through loud and clear to those we would pursue.

 

4) We're not doing the footwork necessary. Taking classes, online dating, volunteering - anything outside of a bar that might provide common, even ground for which to communicate with potential friends/partners.

 

There's probably more but I have a headache lol.

[somedude81]

Yet I manage to date girls who are single, so your claim isn't universally true.

 

To the OP - I find some women to date on dating websites.

 

OLD is like the one and only place in the world to find single women.

 

OLD is also one of the hardest places to actually get a date, unless you know how to work the system.

[d0nnivain]

She never ever ever hooked me up with a nice woman. Not even now with her network being at uni. She doesn't even throw parties. No late night pajama parties with mandatory pillow fights which I can accidently crash, no bikini + pool + BBQ get togethers, nothing. All she does is study study study. I feel she failed as a woman, friend, sister and as a human being for not hooking me up. I am so disappointed in my sister.

 

 

Have you ever asked her for an introduction as opposed to a bit part in a soft core porn film?