Where are all the Single datable women?

[Priv]

Have you ever asked her for an introduction as opposed to a bit part in a soft core porn film?

 

No. I would with a regular female friend, but I think you should be able to expect more from family.

[mikethemechanic]

You see everyone getting togethor, getting married and having kids.

Then theres me still single.

 

I think all my mates think am gay, now I wonder if girls think that too?

 

Where are all the single ladies that *actually* want to date?

 

I just think they are single for a reason, cause most single women I met say they arnt in right place for relationship, or have problems etc.

 

 

I tell you what I need a kick up the backside, because if I dont do something now it will only get harder!

 

Ps am 25 not been in a relationship since 15!

 

 

 

so yeah, I would like some advice on what am doin wrong, attracting a girl and keeping her.

assuming that your from the U.K where one-in-six of the UK population is currently aged 65. You may have to go else where to look for a date.

[me85]

We're all currently mending our broken hearts. Be patient.

[sillyanswer]

OLD is like the one and only place in the world to find single women.

 

In that case we've solved the OP's problems. That's where the single women are!

 

OLD is also one of the hardest places to actually get a date, unless you know how to work the system.

 

I talk to them and ask them out.

[d0nnivain]

No. I would with a regular female friend, but I think you should be able to expect more from family.

 

 

If all she does is study she's not paying attention to you so instead of sitting there resenting her, ask her.

 

 

Family doesn't mean she's required to read your mind.

[bene]

If all she does is study she's not paying attention to you so instead of sitting there resenting her, ask her.

 

 

Family doesn't mean she's required to read your mind.

I'm pretty sure that he said all these things about his sister tongue in cheek.

[somedude81]

In that case we've solved the OP's problems. That's where the single women are!

 

 

I talk to them and ask them out.

 

Ha ha ha!

 

If only it was that easy.

 

I've never had a woman send me a message or reply to a message I sent them.

[somedude81]

So, so, so very untrue. I am not single by choice. I am single because I can't find a guy who I want to date who also wants to date me.

 

Just curious, how many guys want to date you, that you don't want to date them?

 

Also, are you actually getting turned by men, or are you just not finding any guys you want to date?

[KaliLove]

Just curious, how many guys want to date you, that you don't want to date them?

 

Also, are you actually getting turned by men, or are you just not finding any guys you want to date?

 

I can't say I really count.

 

I do get approached a lot by men who are only looking for sex. They trick me into thinking they actually want a relationship and then immediately try to get me into bed 1 or 2 dates in. Maybe I'm just naive.

 

I consider that getting turned down because that's not what I'm looking for.

[hotpotato]

Just curious, how many guys want to date you, that you don't want to date them?

 

Also, are you actually getting turned by men, or are you just not finding any guys you want to date?

 

Just because a one person likes the other doesn't mean that other person has to date them.

 

For example, I could have dated several men I had met recently. Sure, they were 30 years or my senior, but I guess I could have dated them because they were men and they were there.

 

Everybody wants to date who they want to date. Men who can't find dates could probably land a woman who is a "1" or "2," but he doesn't want to.

[hotpotato]

I can't say I really count.

 

I do get approached a lot by men who are only looking for sex. They trick me into thinking they actually want a relationship and then immediately try to get me into bed 1 or 2 dates in. Maybe I'm just naive.

 

I consider that getting turned down because that's not what I'm looking for.

 

Same here. For this reason I'm tired of meeting men on Plenty of Fish aka Plenty of F&$%ing as well as a few other places.

[sillyanswer]

Ha ha ha!

 

If only it was that easy.

 

I've never had a woman send me a message or reply to a message I sent them.

 

Oh! Maybe I'm aiming for a different demographic, but some of them write back to me. Anyway, if the OP is looking for where the single datable women are at: some of them are on dating sites.

[No Limit]

Hmm, when you say waiting, does that mean you are literally just waiting or do you actually go to areas where it's possible to meet men?

 

Also being shy is probably the worst thing that can happen to a girl. Too often guys just interpret shyness and as being cold and uninterested. It's totally a numbers game for guys, and we just can't spend time focusing on a girl who shows that she isn't interested.

 

Additionally being in an area where there are few single men of an appropriate age is also a bad thing. Though the easy answer is to just move.

 

Bars, clubs, local festivities. That pretty much covers all possibilities on the countryside. It's not like I sit down in a library's corner and just look expectantly at every guy that passes me.

 

The numbers thing is the trouble I have. I look for commitment, not necessarily the marriage-happy-ever-after-relationship, but I admit; if a guy wants to woo or impress me, it starts faaar above the waistline. If you want numbers, sit down at the bar, wait 5 minutes until the drunk blonde walks up to you and everything's settled. The interest in finding a GF is low, the interest for sex high, so I'm just in the wrong places.

It's not about age either. In fact most guys I see in said locations are probably everything from 20 - 25.

 

Lucky for me, I go to a city school in September and I'll probably get an apartment there too. It's no promise for more chances, but it's a start I guess.

[jay1983]

You would think so, but this doesn't happen in practice, at least in my experience (and other friends I know). In my case I've not been in a long term relationship for 10 years and if anything my coupled up friends have been a hinderance rather than a help- a recent example being a friend of my friends gf who I clicked with over drinks, I heard from my friend that she told my friends gf that she liked me too but for whatever reason my friend does not seem keen to arrange another meetup and its fallen by the wayside.

 

The best bit of advice I can give the OP is that nobody is going to care whether he gets laid apart from himself. He is going to have to put all the effort in, the main benefit of this being that when he finally gets success at least he will have the satisfaction of having done it all himself and his happiness hasn't been handed to him on a plate- so he may appreciate it more which may help his relationship. I dunno, maybe I just have crap friends but personally I think any guy wondering about meeting women should be getting out there and doing something about it themselves primarily. Go begging to your friends if all else fails.

 

Did you directly ask your friend about her, say hey can you set up another meetup?

[jay1983]

You see everyone getting togethor, getting married and having kids.

Then theres me still single.

 

I think all my mates think am gay, now I wonder if girls think that too?

 

Where are all the single ladies that *actually* want to date?

 

I just think they are single for a reason, cause most single women I met say they arnt in right place for relationship, or have problems etc.

 

 

I tell you what I need a kick up the backside, because if I dont do something now it will only get harder!

 

Ps am 25 not been in a relationship since 15!

 

 

 

so yeah, I would like some advice on what am doin wrong, attracting a girl and keeping her.

 

They're all sitting around asking "why are all the good men taken" lol

[insert_name]

Did you directly ask your friend about her, say hey can you set up another meetup?

 

Yeah I did, he just shrugged it off.

 

I should add that she sent me a friend request on Facebook a few weeks after we met - bit random as she did not add her friend's bf (my friend). I didn't know she was interested at this point (I suspected she may have a bf already) so I sent her a msg making fun of something we talked about, she replied in kind. I sent a further playful message (nothing full on or anything) thinking that if she replies to a 2nd message she has to be trying to keep the convo going so may be interested so to hell with it, I'll ask her out.....but she never replied a 2nd time. I think she must have just wanted to boost her friend numbers.

 

I then caught up with my friend and asked him about why she added me and not him- he replied (like it was stating the obvious!) that she had told his gf that she liked me, and although she does have a boyfriend she "is thinking of splitting up with him" (that put me off a bit, I must say). Thats when I tried to push for another meeting but he didn't seem keen. So many mixed signals, its hard to know whats going on there.

 

Ah well, I suspect our paths aren't going to cross again, probably not a bad thing seeing as shes involved elsewhere. Time to blow the dust off my OLD profile, god help me :/

Edited July 16, 2014 by insert_name

[Imajerk17]

insert_name, I would have handled the situation quite differently than the way you did.

 

1. I would have asked for the girl's contact info then and there while she was in front of me.

 

2. I would have asked your friend and/or his gf for her contact info, if I didnt do 1.

 

3. I would have tried to find her fb if I didnt do 1. or 2.

 

4. If I didnt do 1., 2., or 3., I wouldn't be deterred by one unresponded to message. I would try again. I mean, up to this point she did all the work.

 

Anyway this is my point: Many of you guys who struggle are just way too passive.

Edited July 16, 2014 by Imajerk17

[insert_name]

insert_name, I would have handled the situation quite differently than the way you did.

 

1. I would have asked for the girl's contact info then and there while she was in front of me.

 

2. I would have asked your friend and/or his gf for her contact info, if I didnt do 1.

 

3. I would have tried to find her fb if I didnt do 1. or 2.

 

4. If I didnt do 1., 2., or 3., I wouldn't be deterred by one unresponded to message. I would try again. I mean, up to this point she did all the work.

 

Anyway this is my point: Many of you guys who struggle are just way too passive.

 

Thanks for your input- I think you are right, I am naturally shy and have recently been learning that I need to be more direct when I'm interested in a girl. I bang my head against a wall reading about others thinking "you dork just spit it out and tell her" but when in that situation myself the risk of putting myself out there seems too great. I am getting better in that sense though, since meeting that girl I've done some reading to get a different perspective and understand that the risk taking is a necessary part of the game. If they reject me then at least I know early on, playing it safe and hoping it clicks later is no more likely to yield a result. In this case though I felt there was no rush at the time, thinking I would let let my friend know and arrange another meet and make my move then (that always worked for me when I was younger!)-- unfortunately (for whatever reason) my friend did not respond with the enthusiasm I had hoped.

 

Like I say, think I dodged a bullet with this one anyway, so it's a good situation to learn from and make sure that next time I just get down to brass tacks and declare my interest.

[jay1983]

OP go ahead and just send one more message, no biggie. I wanna 2 things that might be true.

 

1. The girl doesn't like your friend and that's why she didn't add him to her facebook, also why he didn't wanna set up another meet.

 

2. Your friend is a cock blocker.

[mikethemechanic]

Bars, clubs, local festivities. That pretty much covers all possibilities on the countryside. It's not like I sit down in a library's corner and just look expectantly at every guy that passes me.

 

The numbers thing is the trouble I have. I look for commitment, not necessarily the marriage-happy-ever-after-relationship

, but I admit; if a guy wants to woo or impress me, it starts faaar above the waistline. If you want numbers, sit down at the bar, wait 5 minutes until the drunk blonde walks up to you and everything's settled. The interest in finding a GF is low, the interest for sex high, so I'm just in the wrong places.

It's not about age either. In fact most guys I see in said locations are probably everything from 20 - 25.

 

Lucky for me, I go to a city school in September and I'll probably get an apartment there too. It's no promise for more chances, but it's a start I guess.

men intrinsically know that a woman with 15 lays or more has 90% chance of marital disruption hence it's only a matter of time before the guy learns of the girls reputation and the last thing on his mind is LTR. here's the facts Correlation between successful marriage and sex experience

[irc333]

They don't exist. It's an oxymoron.

 

I've received a ton of flack for this on the forum, but I strongly believe that if a woman wanted a boyfriend, she wouldn't be single.

 

The girls that are single, don't want to date. That's why they are single.

 

I kind of tend to agree with this. I live in a rather small town/community. I know a woman that comes to Meetup all the time, but I noticed she has quite a few cute female friends she hangs out with OUTSIDE of Meetup. Even saw some Vegas photos.

 

The woman in question is older, but her friends were around my age bracket. Had been single for a while, divorcee's.

 

I asked her how about she have her friends join her as +1

s or whatever "+"s She said they weren't really comfortable with the the whole Meetup setup.

 

Basically, this one friend of hers gets hit on constantly in public, and the last thing she needs is joining a Meetup knowing good and well most of the men in the group are unattached.

 

I do recall meeting her +1 at a softball event at a Meetup, but her friends never even bothered registering with the site.

 

Once, I went to a Meetup where people socialized and danced, the main aforementioned member showed up and I said, "Hey, how come you didn't bring your friends?"

 

She said, "They are at a beer tasting event, and I'm not a drinker".

 

So I think these women have the least amount of interest in dating or meeting men. It's like they are turned off by the idea. Being that we live in a small town, chances are most of the men here aren't too their liking physically.

 

In fact, I think I recall a dating profile of a woman in a rather large city, Christian single lady, VERY attractive, age 35...and highly active in all things church or volunteer related.

 

She helps at the church nursery, is a fitness instructor on her spare time, works in the media (may be a local TV personality/anchor) and so on.

 

She admitted in her profile it's been FIVE years since she even accepted a date from anyone and felt the online dating realm as a last resort to meet people that she's interested in. A woman THAT attractive is obviously being asked out in her congregation constantly, but refuses to date them.

 

Most women will go outside their church congregation because none of the men their suit them, of course, most single women in general are so extremely unrelaistic in their expectations they keep themselves in a perpetual state of single-dom.

 

 

I know some women that have to pull chronically single women out of their homes on a Sat. for a Girls Night OUt...its like pulling teeth.

 

It's as if they refuse to even be SOCIAL in general if the venue is known not to yield the "hunks" of society.

[jay1983]

Most women will go outside their church congregation because none of the men their suit them, of course, most single women in general are so extremely unrelaistic in their expectations they keep themselves in a perpetual state of single-dom.

 

It's as if they refuse to even be SOCIAL in general if the venue is known not to yield the "hunks" of society.

 

To put it more simple, women date up. I get a lot of women that flake and the only way to really avoid flaking is to date down. That can really hard for an average looking guy.

[somedude81]

She admitted in her profile it's been FIVE years since she even accepted a date from anyone and felt the online dating realm as a last resort to meet people that she's interested in. A woman THAT attractive is obviously being asked out in her congregation constantly, but refuses to date them.

I bet she's also the type of woman who complains that nobody wants her and that all the good men are taken.

[irc333]

To put it more simple, women date up. I get a lot of women that flake and the only way to really avoid flaking is to date down. That can really hard for an average looking guy.

 

Right...I knew of this one woman that was in Meetup, she traveled a good distance outside her geographical area only because the men where she lived, she knew too well, or worked in the same building as and they were always asking her out.

 

She had to desperately seek unknown territory beyond where she lived, and where she lived was a rather large city. So that was a puzzler.

 

Then I happened along her online dating profile. Match.com tends to display "Matching" incomes. Her desire in a mate was to have a 6 figure income. So , THIS woman was on a mission and if it meant traveling a good 2 hours to do it...so be it I suppose. But I think there's a hint of desperation in that. lol

[insert_name]

OP go ahead and just send one more message, no biggie. I wanna 2 things that might be true.

 

1. The girl doesn't like your friend and that's why she didn't add him to her facebook, also why he didn't wanna set up another meet.

 

2. Your friend is a cock blocker.

 

Hahaha hes certainly gone down in my estimation over this, especially as he is always bugging me about how I need a girlfriend in my life. It just reinforces my opinion that guys are so competitive over women, even amongst friends. I've never known my friends to go out of their way to help me out when it comes to women - they either aren't that interested or maybe have some ulterior motive, so at least for me the mutual friends route seems to be a no-go.

 

I think I will leave it with this girl, haven't spoken in over a month so it would be random as hell to just ask her out now. She had the opportunity to get chatting on Facebook and was not interested enough to maintain a conversation past 1 reply, to me that says more than her claiming she likes me to her friend. If we should meet again and the rapport is still there then damn right I'll ask her out, but with what I know at this point in time I have very little signs of interest to go on so I'm best off investing my energy elsewhere