Has baby brought new life to this?

[scorpio1978]

I just gave birth 5 weeks ago to a beautiful baby girl. Her father and I are not together and had a 6 month relationship, if you can even call it that, before I found out I was pregnant. He was going through a divorce when we met and I was ready for a relationship, but he obviously wasn't. Things were not progressing in our relationship and I ended it. There were some things that made me think we actually were more serious than we were. I either misread the whole situation or he was giving me mixed signals. Either way... 2 weeks later after I ended it, I found out I was pregnant. Needless to say, he was not happy about it and wanted nothing to do with us. I decided to keep the baby and he walked out. Three months or so later, he came back around and wanted to step up and do the right thing to be there and support his child. He was adamant that he wanted no relationship, but wanted to co-parent.

 

 

He is in the military and was leaving for a year long deployment, so his physical presence from the start was planned to be minimal. Nature of the beast with the job. So, he left, we stayed in touch and were cordial and mature for our child's sake. I have always wanted more from him, but began to focus on the baby and myself and let go of the fantasy of us being a happy family.

 

 

Brief background on him...his ex left him. They were married young, lasted 2 years, and she moved all her stuff out of the house when he was away for work and left him broken and devastated. I was the first girl he dated after her. He still loves her and I think there is a big part of him that wants her back.

 

 

Anyway...he came home for a break during his deployment 3 days after our daughter was born and he stayed in my guestroom. The dynamic of our relationship changed dramatically when he came home. As he got off the plane, he gave me a big kiss, held his daughter for the first time, and came home with us. He was a doting, attentive father with her and was super affectionate and loving with me. He called me "baby, honey, sweety", etc., which I didn't expect, and was very lovey dovey with me- holding my hand when we went places, sitting close to me on the couch. He took me shopping, met my family who were in town, made us all dinner and he went out once while here and came back, asking as he walked in the door "where are my pretty ladies at??". All cute, family stuff. You get my drift I am sure.

 

 

I suppose we acted like a family in that I made us dinner almost every night, we spent every day together and carried on in that manner for 2 weeks while he was here. He even made the comment about wanting to give our daughter a baby brother and asked me when I would like to start trying again. I chalked that up to the alcohol since he had a few beers before that conversation even took place.

 

 

When he left to return to finish his deployment, it was a sad day for us and

I don't know when he will be home. Regardless, when he does return, he will only be with us for 6 months before he has orders to move for 2 years to the same town his ex lives in. Even if he wanted me to, I couldn't go.

 

 

I love this man, want a family life, and am optimistic that we could have one since things seemed to turn around when he was here. But, I am scared. He said before he didn't want a relationship, he is leaving us again, and he still loves his ex, so moving back to where she is sets it up for them to get back together.

 

 

I guess I am just wondering of anyone had a different take on what happened with us.

 

 

Has our daughter and him seeing me in a new light possibly made him change his mind and want more? I don't want to ask for fear of pressuring him. Things are going so well right now in that we are getting along and have a great time together.

 

 

But I am fearful I am setting myself up to be the "baby momma" that he runs to out of convenience. I also have insecurity issues with his ex and her maybe coming back.

 

 

Thoughts? Thank you!