Mixed signals by ex bf, unsure whether he will come back

[Mel-96]

Boyfriend of a year and a half dumped me nearly three months ago. He made up some lame excuse but admitted recently the reason was because he felt like the relationship was getting serious and we have both just turned 18 so we should have some freedom. After the breakup we stayed in contact, hung out multiple times until I realised each time I saw him we just talked about our relationship and what went wrong and it would upset me. I did the usual, begging for him to take me back and all that. Last week he messaged me telling me he thought about getting back with me, but whats stopping him is the freedom that he now has. He said working things out at this moment isn't something he would like to do, but he can't speak for the future yet. It was then i decided to tell him I understand his need and desire for freedom at this age and I'm going to respect that. I also decided it was time I cut contact with him.

 

I'm wondering if after this phase of freedom, clubbing and drinking every weekend has passed if he will coming back. Will me limiting contact make him realise that I'm not going to wait around, make him realise what his lost? Is there still a chance? We were in love and although we are very different people somehow something just clicked and we worked. Everybody thought we would be the couple that stayed together, because through everything we always worked it out. The only issue we had was his friends were very big on the party scene, and believed if he wasn't with me he would be able to hang with them more often. I think the pressure of his friends has played a large role in this need for freedom. I just miss him, and not having him has made me realise how much I love him and want him back!

[music_and_poetry]

Boyfriend of a year and a half dumped me nearly three months ago. He made up some lame excuse but admitted recently the reason was because he felt like the relationship was getting serious and we have both just turned 18 so we should have some freedom. After the breakup we stayed in contact, hung out multiple times until I realised each time I saw him we just talked about our relationship and what went wrong and it would upset me. I did the usual, begging for him to take me back and all that. Last week he messaged me telling me he thought about getting back with me, but whats stopping him is the freedom that he now has. He said working things out at this moment isn't something he would like to do, but he can't speak for the future yet. It was then i decided to tell him I understand his need and desire for freedom at this age and I'm going to respect that. I also decided it was time I cut contact with him.

 

I'm wondering if after this phase of freedom, clubbing and drinking every weekend has passed if he will coming back. Will me limiting contact make him realise that I'm not going to wait around, make him realise what his lost? Is there still a chance? We were in love and although we are very different people somehow something just clicked and we worked. Everybody thought we would be the couple that stayed together, because through everything we always worked it out. The only issue we had was his friends were very big on the party scene, and believed if he wasn't with me he would be able to hang with them more often. I think the pressure of his friends has played a large role in this need for freedom. I just miss him, and not having him has made me realise how much I love him and want him back!

 

 

The only way you'll know is by giving him exactly what you want - his freedom. But at the same time, tell him you'll be taking your freedom too and not sitting at his beck and call.

 

Here's what you do:

 

1. Go to Great Glam- The Best clothes shop to buy sexy dresses, club tops, and shoes online at cheap prices. Our clothing Store sells clubbing tops, women's dresses, short skirts, sexy mini dress & heels. or tobi.com and pick out some CUTE clubbing outfits.

 

2. Call your girlfriends and any cool guy friends you have!

 

3. Hit an 18+ club! Go dancing, take cute photos together and just focus on having a blast. If a cute stranger wants to make-out, I saw go for it! Don't slut it up too much though. Keep it classy sister.

 

4. Go on road trips, and adventures with your friends. Enjoy your life. Don't focus on him.

 

5. If someone great comes around, date him. Remember you have your freedom and your ex is no longer chaining you down.

 

6. Do anything else that makes you happy except contacting your ex.

 

7. Don't you dare wait for him! If you have your happiness, then move forward and don't look back.

 

8. *IF* he comes around (which he may) then take your time re-evaluating if he's worthy of entering your fabulous new life. He may not be. After all, you only gave him what he wanted.

 

Hope this helps!

[scorpio1978]

He needs to realize how much he misses you and wants you back, not the other way around right now. The fact is you are both young and him going out with friends and hanging out means that he wants freedom to do whatever he wants and likely see other people. You at this point are making it too easy for him and allowing him to keep you on the back burner while he lives his life. As much as this hurts, you are a second choice to him and you deserve better than that. Everyone does. It's not appealing to a guy when he knows he can go and do whatever and still have someone waiting who loves him. Give him more of a challenge. Stop talking to him, be more aloof, more cold if he tries to reach out. Try to move on and it that isn't possible right now, give the illusion of it. If he reaches out, don't respond for a while or don't respond at all. It irritates me that he has the nerve to say that getting back together isn't what he wants right now, but maybe in the future?? Who does he think he is? That's pretty bold to even think that you would still be there waiting for him, but there clearly has been a reason he feels that you may. So, take that off the table.