Conners Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 I had a dream about another guy , he is a friend of a friend I met just before I got into a relationship with my boyfriend. I will admit that I find him attractive, although I've only met him a few times. I think what sparked the dream was a photo I saw that he had put on facebook.. and bam, later that night I dreamt that I hooked up with him. To make things worse, I was out the other night with a few friends and I went to get a drink and he was there as well. I am pretty sure he was flirting with me and asked if I was still with my boyfriend etc. When I went to leave, he grabbed my waist and went in for a kiss which I denied. I just said sorry, I'm not like that. He just said yeah I know, was worth a try though. What's bugging me is that I think a part of me wanted to.. which makes me question if I do truly love my boyfriend. I believe I do but just want to have another persons perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Tricky one as your social group seems quite close. Him saying worth a try speaks volumes. Maybe you need to think about what are the qualites you love in your boyfriend? Sounds like a bit of excitment maybe? Been in the same boat, it is flattering when someone we find very attractive appears to feel the same way about us. I suspect he is dreaming about you as well. I know this did not really help. (Sorry) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Conners Posted July 14, 2014 Author Share Posted July 14, 2014 Tricky one as your social group seems quite close. Him saying worth a try speaks volumes. Maybe you need to think about what are the qualites you love in your boyfriend? Sounds like a bit of excitment maybe? Been in the same boat, it is flattering when someone we find very attractive appears to feel the same way about us. I suspect he is dreaming about you as well. I know this did not really help. (Sorry) My boyfriend and him don't know each other at all. He does not hang out with my friends that often. Yeah the fact he tried knowing full well I was in a relationship says enough about him. I think he is just one of those over confident guys. Ah well, it's not like I am thinking about leaving my boyfriend or even hooking up with this guy EVER! Just a bit of excitement probably. Link to post Share on other sites
Raena Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 I've found that if I'm truly into a guy that I'm dating... other men cease to exist for me. It's not that I don't notice them, I just don't get all hot and bothered over someone other than my man. In addition, if some man hits on me when I'm with someone I truly care about, the thought of being with that other guy never crosses my mind and actually turns me off to him. I can see why you being attracted to this other guy would make you question whether or not what you have with your bf is really the be all to end all. If it were, why would you be dreaming about some other guy? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Conners Posted July 14, 2014 Author Share Posted July 14, 2014 I've found that if I'm truly into a guy that I'm dating... other men cease to exist for me. It's not that I don't notice them, I just don't get all hot and bothered over someone other than my man. In addition, if some man hits on me when I'm with someone I truly care about, the thought of being with that other guy never crosses my mind and actually turns me off to him. I can see why you being attracted to this other guy would make you question whether or not what you have with your bf is really the be all to end all. If it were, why would you be dreaming about some other guy? My thoughts exactly Raena. The whole relationship I did not care about other guys, truly loved my boyfriend in comparison to previous ones. The dream and the encounter just happened in the last two weeks. I am hoping it doesn't mean anything, my boyfriend and I have been together for 18 months now, the honeymoon stage is pretty much over but I know we still love each other. I did find this other guy attractive before I even dated my boyfriend though.. that's possibly why. As for my dreams, I can't control them. I dream absurd weird things nearly every night. Link to post Share on other sites
Raena Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 I have weird crazy dreams many times too. Usually they are about things that I have picked up on subconsciously throughout the day and only made the connection while I was sleeping. It seems like you seeing this guy is making you wonder if you shouldn't have tried to date him before dating your current bf. Why didn't you? Is there some part of you that wishes that you had followed through on that? Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 I have had steamy dreams before. My best buddy's ex-wife showed up once. I wanted her so bad in that dream. Then again, you "come to" when you wake up and you realize that this person isn't even a very good person to begin with and all of the sudden the unattractive side shows up and you're all good. Here's a more recent one. A woman I work with who is in her mid 30s. Very nice woman, very friendly but non-threatening. Never really felt any attraction towards her, which I guess is why I could talk to her about things (kids, other things we have in common) and compare notes. But she appeared in a recent dream. I was in a doctor's office. I have no idea what I was doing but I had a gown on and my legs were in stirrups. She was the doctor. It wasn't kinky, because she was the legitimate doctor doing a procedure on me. I can't remember if she was shaving me for a vasectomy or if she was checking for lumps on my penis or whatever but all of the sudden while she was grabbing me I got aroused. My penis was rock hard. I figured she would stop but she didn't, she didn't even blink. She sort of kept "checking" my penis and I was just paralyzed from embarrasment because I had an erection the whole time. Anyway so I woke up. First thing I thought was "I just had a dream about Courtney!" Why? I was never attracted to her, but I'll tell you, ever since that dream I look at her differently as if she could be very risque in bed behind closed doors because in public she is pretty straight laced. I mean, in my dream was I taken advantage of by her while she was in a position of power? Either way, it sort of turned me on. But...........you "come to". I love my wife, she is much more attractive in my eye's and I cannot complain about the kinky sex life we have. It was just a dream, it probably meant nothing. Which is what you should think. What counts is how you pursue this in real life. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 You know, I really do understand the guys who say they don't ever want to become serious with a girl anymore. You had a dream and now you question everything. It's the same thing with women and their flirty coworkers who at worst give everything up to be their fling and that's that. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually wringing my hands in happiness here that there's finally someone posting who actually has brains enough to resist a temptation. "There are many hungers it is better to deny than to feed." But if you aren't happy in your relationship, or aren't into the guy you're with, break up and be single. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Long time ago when I was married to my first wife, I caught a look at my sister in law naked by accident. Now she had a butt that could stop traffic and one night shortly after I had a dream about her and her butt that could stop traffic. It was a dream and nothing more. Never tried to pursue it nor did I want to but I'm glad I didn't talk in my sleep and yeah. I saw my SIL many times after that but like I said, it was a dream. Link to post Share on other sites
leavesonautumn Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 I've dreamt about an ex co-worker of mine and couldn't even look at him for a week. It was a pretty naughty dream. Also, I dreamt about Michael Fassbender and did not find him attractive until that dream. You literally cannot help what you dream about and sure maybe you saw a more attractive side but what you chose to do is the important thing. The attraction will probably fade away quickly, it has for me whenever I've had a naughty dream about someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Shimi Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 (edited) Honestly I think dreams are just nightly brain dumps of extraneous stimuli subconsciously processed throughout the day. Trying to read into them is like trying to divine a deep cosmic message from the floating bits in a septic tank. Edited July 19, 2014 by Shimi Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 I have dreamt about another guy also. I can deduce why I did it though... This is how it goes for me, try to see if you can relate. - my boyfriend and I had great chemistry and I got butterflies from/was excited about my boyfriend. - my boyfriend is also a "nice guy" he is very stable with his feelings; it is clear he adores me and is crazy about me so I never have to "worry" that he will suddenly "lose feelings" for me. My theory... Now that I am in a very comfortable and "safe" relationship, the drama laden unpredictable chemistry unavailable men give you, or men who are not that into you give you, can sometimes come to mind. A guy I met in Berlin last year was into racing cars, he owned motor bikes, he loved adventure and I was very drawn to him when I met him in a hostel. Nothing came of it because I messed it up, via facebook since that was our only communication....Although he seemed very interested in me in person, and it just fizzled via facebook... You know, you tend to wonder sometimes "what would have been", but for me it is only in a sexual way that I "think about" what could have been, I don't think of him personally and any love or relationship. I have since had a dream about him. I put it down to chemistry! He was more free spirited than my boyfriend, he clearly wasn't as into me as my boyfriend was, and I thrived off the unpredictability and newness that was what we both had together for one night in Berlin. Sometimes it is normal, I believe, to think about new and exciting opportunities with new men. I have personally only had ONE dream about another man in 8 months of dating my boyfriend. However, if the Berlin guy messaged me on facebook or saw me in public and he came on to me and insisted that he was crazy about me and we had something special, I would 100% decline him. I know I love my partner way too much to even consider another mans advances, although the one sexy dream I had about another man was a thrill I admit..... What worries me is you semi wanted to kiss the guy. But you didn't, which says a lot more than the fact you felt a tiny pull. Chemistry is NATURAL, you WILL have it for more than ONE man in your life! Relax if chemistry is all that drove you to this man, and there is only a cause for concern if you had deeper feelings at play here. Was it just pure chemistry driven lust? This is NORMAL. Remember, many men with very average looking women DO look at sports illustrated models! Hope this helps, I hope you relax and feel good about NOT cheating, you did the right thing you have nothing to feel bad about. Link to post Share on other sites
Shimi Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 "Nothing came of it because I messed it up" ... "I would 100% decline him" Wait, what? You seem to have contradicted yourself there. You imply that something *would* have happened if you hadn't messed it up... but then go on to say that no, actually, nothing would have happened, even if you hadn't messed it up? Link to post Share on other sites
TheGuard13 Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 According to dream meanings...when you have a sexual dream about someone it has more to do with you wanting to be something that this person is...admiring some aspect of their personality...not just attraction to them. Something to think about. Link to post Share on other sites
Davey L Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 It's just a dream! If I had a penny for every woman I've ever dreamed of I'd be a millionaire. I've had erotic dreams about almost every woman I have met. Don't worry about it. When it actually came to something that mattered, you made the right call. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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