Lrnnd Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Let me start with beginning of the story. Almost a year ago I met this girl who lives 2 hours by plane away from where I live and we started talking. Because of the distance most of our contact was via the internet which isn't exactly ideal for starting relationships. We messaged continuously for 3 weeks and got to know each other better. I never knew somebody existed who had so much in common with me. She grew on me and I grew on her. We transitioned into a weird phase in which she liked me and I liked her, yup in love via the internet which is weird, but we weren't possible to get our relationship onto the next 'official' level due to the distance. She admitted that she liked me and it was very clear. Seeing her naked et cetera. And so the attraction faded a little on her side and I may not have given her enough space. I wasn't able to see her again during Christmas because she went on vacation to America. There she met an American guy (6 years older and in a totally different phase of life). When she got back home she told me and she insisted that we remained friends. She visited that American guy once. While we were friends she kept flirting with me (for example sending snapchats deliberately showing cleavage). I visited her again in April, she was very friendly as always, she was late and it looked like she just fixed some make up because I wiped away some mascara under her eye. Putting an arm around her during sunset was too much but the they after she did look me deep into the eyes while she held my arm above her head (throwing snow at her) and she gave me 'that look'. Yes I could have kissed her wasn't it that her best friend and nephew stood 6 meters behind us. That afternoon all of us were back at her place, she was looking for my attention and came sitting next to/on top of me and sort of in my arms (while there was more than enough room on other parts of the couch) and putting her hand on my knee a few times. I did not manage to do anything so when I got home she didn't respond and told me we were just friends. After that I decided that it wouldn't work out this way because her attitude towards me changed with the day. So I did not have any contact with her for a month. And after 4 weeks she started talking with me again (Just after I posted a picture on Facebook with a lot of girls and me, was she jealous?). I did not respond in 4 hours or so and every hour she sent me a message what I was doing and how I was, I'd never seen such behaviour from her towards me. She flirted a bit more excessively since then and showed the same (jealous?) behaviour again when I posted another photo with other girls. She also tested me by sending a snapchat of her friends cleavage to see how I would respond and in short: - Using way too much smileys | , :3, ;p, | - Sending a few snapchats only showing her legs/body/in bikini only - Saying her ex and that American guy are not the people she can be in a relationship with for a long time. (Indirectly saying I can be someone she could do that with?) - Saying a relationship on 2 continents is not possible (with American guy) but on one is. (Indirectly pointing at me again?) - When I react angry at her she suddenly is very nice again. - Ignoring me (also during a conversation) - Being really talkative and flirty the next moment - Told me after I got irritated about her behaviour: "I am not to be understood. If you know everything nothing is of interest anymore." (Admitting she is playing hard to get?) - She wants to visit me, and wants me to visit her. - Recently sending pictures again of what she is doing (something she hasn't done in a while) So what does she want? I've put a lot of thought in it but I just don't know. Hard to get because of the distance? Does she want me or not? She is quite perfect, money for flights is not an issue and we will live close to each other in 2 years. Thanks in advance! Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Sorry, how old are you and how old is this woman? Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 Actually, it doesn't matter. A mature person can flirt and entertain different people and NOT have the people's lives intersect or create unnecessary drama. This woman thrives on attention and is lazy about how she treats the people who pay her attention. Play at a distance, you might bed her. I don't think she's relationship material, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lrnnd Posted July 14, 2014 Author Share Posted July 14, 2014 Both of us are 20 years old, and sure they can flirt but based on the history the two of us have it is weird. And as long as she acts like she used to she is relationship material otherwise not. Because she wasn't an attention whore, to put it that way, when I first met her. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 20's...well, that's a different can of worms. I don't think you will have success pinning down this woman's behavior. Maybe I'm wrong. She will act how she feels IN THE MOMENT. If that means being an obedient girlfriend focused solely on you; if that means being an attention hungry young person with raging hormones. Ultimately, it's up to her. My advice still stands: play at a distance/not relationship material. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted July 14, 2014 Share Posted July 14, 2014 I might also add---the more you play this thing coolly, not REACTING to every little bit of turbulence she creates, the more you will get from her. Pull back. Yes, I know what your 20 year old sperm factory is telling you. Play it like James Bond. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lrnnd Posted July 14, 2014 Author Share Posted July 14, 2014 The 4 weeks of no contact worked before, and I've been taking some distance lately, which increased 'nice' behaviour from her side. Guess I'll just have to pay her a visit and close the deal. Real talking is always easier (girls in the pocket within 10 minutes). Thanks! I guess/hope her 'mind switching' will calm down, but everything comes with age. Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Something you might try: when she is good, give little rewards. When she is bad, disappear, disconnect. Then let her initiate contact again. Repeat. Link to post Share on other sites
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