Justaguy30 Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 (edited) I see a lot of people posting about wanting to contact their ex to let them know they are missed. If that woman missed you she would be contacting you to let you know. As a few other threads have stated, if you choose to contact only do it once and then let it be up to them. I miss my ex everyday but she doesn't miss me thus we are not working things out or what ever and its been so long since we broke up getting back together isn't an option anyway plus she is a horrible person but that is besides the point. I find it odd that i miss someone that could really truly care less about me and has moved on and moved on and moved on per say. I guess when you really love someone not having them in your life everyday is super tough. Edited July 15, 2014 by Justaguy30 10 Link to post Share on other sites
love1336x Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 You really cant assume she doesn't miss you.... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted July 15, 2014 Author Share Posted July 15, 2014 Good point, I think it depends on who broke up with who and if you had previously expressed that you still loved and wanted that person. If you had and its been a few months NC and you still wonder sending one message just to see is a good idea. However it might not go the way you had planned. Also missing someone in no way means they will want to try things again. I miss my ex like CRAZY! but we can't be together. Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlet2 Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 You really cant assume she doesn't miss you.... And the level of stubbornness one might have too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Offspring Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 I don't think that because somebody doesn't contact you, that they don't miss you. They may not think it is worth the hassle, they may be shy or they may not know how to go about it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Jono85 Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 or they may just miss you like you miss your grade school best friend. you think about them every now and then, reminisce, miss them, and then quickly let it pass and move on with life.. in other words, even if they miss you, it's rare, and hardly means anything. they've moved on. pretending or fantasizing that they haven't will only set you up for disappointment. my last 2 exes, the first 4 years ago, the second 2 years ago, have moved on with their lives and i haven't so much as received a drunken text, facebook msg, etc etc. i may as well have never existed in their lives. conclusion: many exes obviously don't regret ending it, and do find happier times without you. reality isn't always sunshine and rainbows. if they ended it, assume it's over forever. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Ordinaryday Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 You really cant assume she doesn't miss you.... oh she might miss you, miss the time you spent together and stuff but it isnt enough to WANT YOU BACK! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
love1336x Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 I don't think that because somebody doesn't contact you, that they don't miss you. They may not think it is worth the hassle, they may be shy or they may not know how to go about it. exactly. I miss my ex every single day. But I'm not going to be silly and go txt him. Because what would be the point? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jono85 Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 exactly. I miss my ex every single day. But I'm not going to be silly and go txt him. Because what would be the point? to be fair, dumpee's (or dumpers that were forced to be dumper), should never be compared to the dumpers. we don't contact them out of pride, and because we know it most likely won't change the current circumstance. they don't contact us because they believe a life without us as a partner is a happier life. it's a completely different dynamic. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels7 Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 I do have to disagree. I left my ex two months ago and I miss him like crazy. I don't contact him and he thinks this has been easy for me. Nope... I love him and miss him so much it physically hurts. I know he isn't good for me and he treats me poorly though so that's why I do NC. Just because one is the "dumper" doesn't mean they don't miss you. I feel like I'm dying inside. Although... I guess my situation is different from most dumpers. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
stopthemadness Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 I think just because you dont hear from your ex dosent mean that they dont miss you or think about you...I miss my ex all the time. But i dont act on it thats all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 I do have to disagree. I left my ex two months ago and I miss him like crazy. I don't contact him and he thinks this has been easy for me. Nope... I love him and miss him so much it physically hurts. I know he isn't good for me and he treats me poorly though so that's why I do NC. Just because one is the "dumper" doesn't mean they don't miss you. I feel like I'm dying inside. Although... I guess my situation is different from most dumpers. Sounds like you are a forced dumper, which is basically the same thing as a dumpee. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
learning_slowly Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 I think as a dumpee (or forced dumper), if you don't contact them, it will be better for you in the long run, as even if they do care about you, it will not be enough for you. And it's quite easy after a bit of contact to feel hate, which is of no benefit to anybody. Remember the good times and treat them as an episode in your life. Now move on to better more exciting episodes. They will happen. They just take a while. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
L1ght Posted July 17, 2014 Share Posted July 17, 2014 (edited) Women are way more complicated than to be defined by "if they don't contact you they don't miss you". Women will always choose the silent treatment in an effort to make a man show that he cares or at least show what he is really thinking. They want to see us lose our sh*t and how we react when we dont get things our way. I imagine that the kind of patience this requires is something that has evolved in women over many many years of having to rely on intelligence rather than brute strength. A Woman can love you with all her heart yet she will cut you off and freeze her emotions towards you just to get her own way or make a point. Us guys always have to prove or fix something. Its a never ending cycle of love for a period of time then being out in the cold until we can prove ourselves again. The day we dont try enough, dont give enough of a f*ck or simply fail to meet their standards they are done and we are gone. Its a test and the tests never end with women. When its over you know its over but sometimes you just have to show a woman you care when she ignores the sh*t out of you. I admire men who know how to keep a woman happy long enough for something significant. Guess im just not born that way. Its always great in the beginning......but it always turns to sh*t eventually. Edited July 17, 2014 by L1ght 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted July 17, 2014 Author Share Posted July 17, 2014 Women are way more complicated than to be defined by "if they don't contact you they don't miss you". Women will always choose the silent treatment in an effort to make a man show that he cares or at least show what he is really thinking. They want to see us lose our sh*t and how we react when we dont get things our way. I imagine that the kind of patience this requires is something that has evolved in women over many many years of having to rely on intelligence rather than brute strength. A Woman can love you with all her heart yet she will cut you off and freeze her emotions towards you just to get her own way or make a point. Us guys always have to prove or fix something. Its a never ending cycle of love for a period of time then being out in the cold until we can prove ourselves again. The day we dont try enough, dont give enough of a f*ck or simply fail to meet their standards they are done and we are gone. Its a test and the tests never end with women. When its over you know its over but sometimes you just have to show a woman you care when she ignores the sh*t out of you. I admire men who know how to keep a woman happy long enough for something significant. Guess im just not born that way. Its always great in the beginning......but it always turns to sh*t eventually. I feel you there, I am really bad at being tested per say. It just doesn't make sense to me that someone would need to make me feel like **** to see how I am going to act. Ill tell you right now if I am seriously in love with you and you go cold I will lose my **** lol guess I need to work on that. Link to post Share on other sites
learning_slowly Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 No, if you meet the right woman, she will be there for you even if you are an *********. Maybe you just need to look and see they are into more than material wealth? And it's not gender specific. When I was more immature, if a girl did not meet up to my predefined standards, I moved on. The difference is we are more likely to stay in a bad relationship when the brain down below is happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jupiter1111 Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 I FaceTime my ex not only 5 mins ago to a no answer and now I wish I had read this before. Feel like a tool now but I suppose heinsight is great. Ok so I'm not 6 mins in NC ha Link to post Share on other sites
scobro Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 I see a lot of people posting about wanting to contact their ex to let them know they are missed. If that woman missed you she would be contacting you to let you know. As a few other threads have stated, if you choose to contact only do it once and then let it be up to them. I miss my ex everyday but she doesn't miss me thus we are not working things out or what ever and its been so long since we broke up getting back together isn't an option anyway plus she is a horrible person but that is besides the point. I find it odd that i miss someone that could really truly care less about me and has moved on and moved on and moved on per say. I guess when you really love someone not having them in your life everyday is super tough. I feel 100% exactly like you.I had a horrible toxic relationship full of infedelity on her part and I still miss the evil woman and its been 4 months since I have seen her and 2 weeks of no contact.I have anxiety pains in my stomach constantly.I wake up and think about her all day until I go to sleep.We were together 5 years she cheated after 3 and I took her back.....I don't want to miss her but I do and I don't want the pain and anguish I feel but I do....it sucks only alcohol makes the pain go away then when that wears off its back like a throbbing ache with me 24/7.Its got to be a withdrawal symptom.She could give a crap about me sleeping with other men and now is in a new relationship but I still think about her and miss her....there is something wrong with me for sure because I don't think this is normal Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 I feel 100% exactly like you.I had a horrible toxic relationship full of infedelity on her part and I still miss the evil woman and its been 4 months since I have seen her and 2 weeks of no contact.I have anxiety pains in my stomach constantly.I wake up and think about her all day until I go to sleep.We were together 5 years she cheated after 3 and I took her back.....I don't want to miss her but I do and I don't want the pain and anguish I feel but I do....it sucks only alcohol makes the pain go away then when that wears off its back like a throbbing ache with me 24/7.Its got to be a withdrawal symptom.She could give a crap about me sleeping with other men and now is in a new relationship but I still think about her and miss her....there is something wrong with me for sure because I don't think this is normal I'm a drinker myself but, alcohol doesn't make the pain go away. It simply masks it so, when you sober up you're still faced with the reality of the situation. Honestly.. You need to focus on the break up, deal with it, then have a few! Link to post Share on other sites
scobro Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 I'm a drinker myself but, alcohol doesn't make the pain go away. It simply masks it so, when you sober up you're still faced with the reality of the situation. Honestly.. You need to focus on the break up, deal with it, then have a few! Well alcohol masks the pain but it is gone for that period of time while drunk...lol I have focused on it I ended it but the pain is still there its more like a withdrawal than anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 its difficult when you take someone back after they cheated. You probably felt like taking them back would help them see how much you love them but they see it as a right to **** on you even more. Next time someone cheats on you please leave. Your esteem took a hit and she got worse. Screw her dude. You have to date other women and give yourself a chance to be in a healthy r. Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 I miss my ex but he was passive aggressive and dealing with someone with that personality disorder is a recipe for disaster. I also miss my other ex but I had to drop him cause he wasn't ready for a relationship. So don't assume. Link to post Share on other sites
L1ght Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 (edited) I feel 100% exactly like you.I had a horrible toxic relationship full of infedelity on her part and I still miss the evil woman and its been 4 months since I have seen her and 2 weeks of no contact.I have anxiety pains in my stomach constantly.I wake up and think about her all day until I go to sleep.We were together 5 years she cheated after 3 and I took her back.....I don't want to miss her but I do and I don't want the pain and anguish I feel but I do....it sucks only alcohol makes the pain go away then when that wears off its back like a throbbing ache with me 24/7.Its got to be a withdrawal symptom.She could give a crap about me sleeping with other men and now is in a new relationship but I still think about her and miss her....there is something wrong with me for sure because I don't think this is normal Alcohol isn't the defining factor but TIME is. You can get as drunk or high as you want or be completely sober for the same period of time but overall it wont make any difference to how you feel. Getting wasted is a welcome release that helps to take the edge off so I don't see any problem with it as long as a person is being productive in their lives the majority of the time. The worst thing someone can do is sit around and feel sorry for themselves because it just makes the healing process take longer. So basically make efforts to be positive about things for 5 or 6 days of the week and the healing process should be relatively speedy. I love getting wasted...I love taking the edge off and not giving a f*ck about anything for a few hours before I hit the sack then wake up to a new day. Edited July 20, 2014 by L1ght Link to post Share on other sites
Shaun777 Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 to be fair, dumpee's (or dumpers that were forced to be dumper), should never be compared to the dumpers. we don't contact them out of pride, and because we know it most likely won't change the current circumstance. they don't contact us because they believe a life without us as a partner is a happier life. it's a completely different dynamic. I agree totally with this statement, I was the dumper but she had already decided to leave the relationship (she found someone one else). So I was forced into being the dumper but in reality she had already left the relationship. I miss her a lot but will not call her because it would not change a thing. She probably feels the same, she has a new lover and I'm also in a relationship. Sometimes it's just best to let it go, if someone wants to leave ....believe them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted August 4, 2014 Author Share Posted August 4, 2014 I agree, women will give many signs when they don't want to be in the relationship anymore and you have to believe them because if you stick around and try to fix something that is already over in their minds you will just wind up even more hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
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