Why am I so jealous of pictures?

[challengedone]

Hi all,

 

 

I feel so stupid for feeling like this, but recently I've become completed crazed with jealousy of the fact my girlfriend still has pictures on her facebook from holidays she went on with an ex. He's not in any of the pictures, but for some reason they drive me really mad. I even started searching on facebook in case other pictures of her were posted by her friends involving the two of them.

 

 

I know it's ridiculous, as they were together over 2 years ago, we've been together 10 months now and we're both very much inlove. I realise it's me that has the problem, and from what I know of him, he bought her expensive gifts, took her travelling around the world, and had a much better physique than me. I talked to her about it, and told her I didn't feel comfortable with her having these pictures, and she thought I was just being crazy . But it's left me with the strange morbid desire to learn more about her past, when in the beginning of our relationship, I made it clear to her that I didn't want to hear about her past. So I feel that I want to ask her more questions, but don't want to hear the answers.

 

 

I hope this makes some sense and someone can sympathise, I'm a 30 year old guy with a good job and I feel like I'm going mad.

[Elle1975]

I have pictures of me that were taken on a trip with an ex. I also have pictures of him because I am on them, not because he's on the pics. What am I supposed to do? Cut the pictures in half? I don't hate the guy.

 

I just want to have those pics when I am 75 and say "yup, that's me"

 

She probably keeps the pics for the same reason and you really need to get over it. It's just going to seep in your relationship like rot if you don't.

[Clockwork]

If he's not in the pictures what is the big deal? She probably still liked the trip. Think of it this way, she cares enough about you and not about him to cut him out of the pictures. She's not with him anymore is she?

 

I have some pictures from my "time" with my ex but none of her personally. For example, there are pictures of me that she took but she isn't in them. To me, the things I did at that time matter, but she doesn't anymore, so I just got rid of the ones of her in them. I'm married now, love my wife, take a lot of pictures with her and of her so I really don't think anymore about whether or not I should have pictures of an ex. Just never wanted to.

 

But seriously, you should never go into a relationship and say "I don't want to know about your past." Learning about her past helps you realize the person she is today. Even if she were an escort at one time I would want to know all about it. That's important.

[challengedone]

That's all good advice. Like I said, I don't know why it bothers me I just wish it didn't. In response to the last comment, I didn't go into the relationship with an attitude of "I don't want to know about your past", I just don't really need to know the ins and outs of her previous relationships. SO long as nothing in her past relationships has impacted her in such a way that I should be aware of certain things, then I don't really need to know.

[Clockwork]

That's all good advice. Like I said, I don't know why it bothers me I just wish it didn't. In response to the last comment, I didn't go into the relationship with an attitude of "I don't want to know about your past", I just don't really need to know the ins and outs of her previous relationships. SO long as nothing in her past relationships has impacted her in such a way that I should be aware of certain things, then I don't really need to know.

 

Everything that happened in a person's past shaped who they are today. I am not saying you need to explain in great detail the sexual desires you had for a past partner. I am pretty sure a current boyfriend/girlfriend is aware that you had a life before them and can fill in the blanks themselves (eg. you loved someone else, thought of marrying them before coming to your senses).