Rager50 Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 We have been married three years, together for six, young daughter. We worked together (that's how we met), lived together, and tied the knot. A year in, problems started surfacing. I was more ambitious at work, he couldn't handle it and cheated. I wanted to work it out, and honestly, I think he wishes we hadn't. He doesn't like to face what he did. But we pushed forward, and I thought we were doing better. He started work at a new company (same job, and his choice to do it), we had our daughter, things seemed great. Suddenly he's demanding that we move, make all these expensive purchases that we just can't afford, get him all these new things (tools, items for his hobby, stuff for the house that he says he now hates and wants to sell), but he doesn't want to save. Whenever I talk about money, he tells me that I need to promote again so we can afford it. (He's not interested in advancement.) I feel like he's intentionally making impossible demands to create conflict. I save, I sacrifice, and all he does is spend. He's not happy but he doesn't seem to want to do anything to change. I ask him what I need to do, and he says nothing. I can't figure out if he's trying to make me leave, or what. I'm just exhausted by all the drama. I am starting to think that it would be better for all of us if we divorce. Neither of us were raised in divorced households - our parents are still married for over 35 years each, so it's not something either of us thought would happen. But he's not happy, and I feel like he's trying to make me miserable, too. Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 A year in, problems started surfacing. I was more ambitious at work, he couldn't handle it and cheated. I'm wondering why you think those two things - your ambition and his cheating - are connected ??? Have the two of you, either together or individually, been to counseling? Seems like many issues here but communication at the core of most of them... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Poppygoodwill Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 is what he's doing now a pattern of behaviour that you've seen before. Maybe not the exact things, but a sort of restlessness and wanting to root things up and start new things. Sounds a bit like a mid-life crisis,where - yes - he's regreting some decisions, missing out on some things,and is trying to make up for lost time. have you forgiven him his cheating? Is this at all an issue between you now? Link to post Share on other sites
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