lonegirl Posted July 15, 2014 Share Posted July 15, 2014 Another night of non stop beer... Repeating what I asked to PLEASE to not do anymore. Out at the bars. I'm trying hard to get out of this relationship. HARD. He messages my parents and they think he's awesome but then another day and BOOM, drink and go out and I'm here, stuck and lonely. And crying and desperate. Gas lighting hard. I'm almost thinking I'm crazy and the wrong one. I had an abusive boyfriend once but NEVER suffered so much emotionally as I'm suffering with this man. He's so handsome but I don't feel I can't sleep with him anymore. He disgusts me. I wanna leave this relationship but I dunno HOW. I try so hard to make it works but I have no resources at all anymore. Why, why? Lost a friend this week because she was didn't like the way I vented on Facebook. But I'm so alone. I'm feeling it's my fault. Just wanted to get out of this. This man is destroying what's left of me. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 You can't do it alone. You need to find a group that is for partners of alcoholics. They exist. Look them up on-line or in the phone book. Emotional abuse is worse than physical in that they stay with you so much longer. He has a sickness. He can't stop on his own. He needs help but you need to help yourself first. Please talk to someone. Welcome to Al-Anon Family Groups See if they have a chapter in your town. They can help you if you let them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lonegirl Posted July 20, 2014 Author Share Posted July 20, 2014 Thank you for your reply, and I'm sorry I didn't come before to check it and give an update... That same night things went straight to hell. I was abused verbally for 3 hours. In all kinds of ways, the neighbor upstairs had to come and make it stop, but even she couldn't. I was called so many names... From the W word, got money thrown on my face and was called a prostitute (I'm his GIRLFRIEND)... Heard I was ugly, stupid, that his ex was much better than me, and that he was going to humiliate me all night long until I was crushed like a bug. :( Well I am. So much. SO MUCH. Things got a bit physical too. Not so much, but he tried to kiss me by force and we both went to the floor and I have a purple mark on my leg still. As usual, next morning he cried and "remembered nothing" and apologized. I'm writing today because I'm leaving this RS for good. I feel so sad that such a nice person turns into this monster when he drinks. I feel sad someone so intelligent, so handsome, so nice as a person becomes a true J because of this damned thing called alcohol. I can't help, I can't stay. I wish I could say to him I LOVE YOU again but I can't, words don't come out anymore. I will start a book I think, I had 3 failed relationships, one after the other, in which I don't know what exactly I did wrong. Maybe I'm not lucky or wise enough but hopefully it will help somebody. I'm sad I have to leave! Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 I'm writing today because I'm leaving this RS for good I know it hurts to leave someone you still love. He has a sickness but he has to deal with it, no one can make him. Alcoholics destroy the very people they love. They are sorry but it happens all over again when they drink. They love the drink more than anything or anyone. Doesn't make sense to hurt the people you love but logic doesn't enter into it. You need to do what is best for you. You need to get out. Talk to someone about your situation. The link I sent you is a good place to start. They will help you understand the things he does and what you need to do. It's much easier to not go it alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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