"Treat them mean, keep them keen"?

[somedude81]

To be fair, that's what SD desires. Someone who's as completely co-dependent as him.

 

I don't know what I want other, than for a woman to really like me and want to stick with me.

[somedude81]

I wasn't posting a part of my story to be an example of this idiotic idea that if you treat women like crap they'll be crazy about you.

 

My H is on his last leg. He stands to lose his wife and child if he doesn't get his head straightened out. That doesn't sound like the fairytale ending of having a woman stick by you despite anything.

 

How about you think before you speak.

Candy_Pants, the things you say about your husband are all over the place.

 

Though in the majority of your posts you seem to be worshiping him.

[Candy_Pants]

Candy_Pants, the things you say about your husband are all over the place.

 

Though in the majority of your posts you seem to be worshiping him.

 

Worshiping him? Like how you worship big breasts on women you'll never even speak to? Or worshiping because not every word about him is a negative one?

 

He is my husband. I've made a promise before myself, him, and god to honor him. However my safety and sanity are more important than being involved in an unhealthy relationship indefinitely.

 

Can't expect someone of your experience to understand that.

[somedude81]

Or worshiping because not every word about him is a negative one?

 

He is my husband. I've made a promise before myself, him, and god to honor him. However my safety and sanity are more important than being involved in an unhealthy relationship indefinitely.

 

Can't expect someone of your experience to understand that.

 

You're right that I have limited experience.

 

But that doesn't mean that something is very off when in one thread you talked about moving cross-country to get away from him then in another you talk about how he's amazing in bed and that he does all these great things.

 

You keep going back and forth.

 

How is someone as inexperienced as I am supposed to interpret your actions?

 

You are just one of several women that I've been paying attention to. There are others who've been treated very badly and still they refuse to leave.

[GorillaTheater]

You're right that I have limited experience.

 

But that doesn't mean that something is very off when in one thread you talked about moving cross-country to get away from him then in another you talk about how he's amazing in bed and that he does all these great things.

 

You keep going back and forth.

 

How is someone as inexperienced as I am supposed to interpret your actions?

 

By understanding that "it's complicated" is more than a throw-away phrase on Facebook?

 

You're seeing inconsistency where there's none. A spouse can be amazing in some respects, and suck like a black hole in others.

[Candy_Pants]

You're right that I have limited experience.

 

But that doesn't mean that something is very off when in one thread you talked about moving cross-country to get away from him then in another you talk about how he's amazing in bed and that he does all these great things.

 

You keep going back and forth.

 

How is someone as inexperienced as I am supposed to interpret your actions?

 

Frankly I don't give a damn how you interpret my words.

 

But surely you must understand that not everything about anyone is all bad or all good.

 

Why, you yourself sing your ex's praises then call her a bitch.

[Bruce Leigh]

Wait a minute, lets back it up a bit.

 

Treat them mean, keep them keen sometimes gets results at the start of dating a particular person.

I had success with the tactic when i was younger, some women have used this tactic on me and it worked too.

 

Treating them like **** a few dates/months down the line is a huge no-no.

[Haydn]

Nothing is black and white. You said you never argued with your ex and there was no issues? But there were as it broke down?

 

 

You're right that I have limited experience.

 

But that doesn't mean that something is very off when in one thread you talked about moving cross-country to get away from him then in another you talk about how he's amazing in bed and that he does all these great things.

 

You keep going back and forth.

 

How is someone as inexperienced as I am supposed to interpret your actions?

 

You are just one of several women that I've been paying attention to. There are others who've been treated very badly and still they refuse to leave.

[somedude81]

Frankly I don't give a damn how you interpret my words.

Then why respond to my post at all?

 

But surely you must understand that not everything about anyone is all bad or all good.

 

Why, you yourself sing your ex's praises then call her a bitch.

 

I think she's a bitch because she dumped me. Nothing more.

[TigerLilly78]

You're right that I have limited experience.

 

But that doesn't mean that something is very off when in one thread you talked about moving cross-country to get away from him then in another you talk about how he's amazing in bed and that he does all these great things.

 

You keep going back and forth.

 

How is someone as inexperienced as I am supposed to interpret your actions?

 

You are just one of several women that I've been paying attention to. There are others who've been treated very badly and still they refuse to leave.

 

I also remember a guy on here whose GF was obliviously abusive yet he was still praising her and saying how "hot" she was and how he hated to end things. I also remember other men on here trying to encourage him to deal with her BS! so it goes both ways..

 

Marriage is a deep commitment in many ways and rather different to just dating imo anyways. As a survivor of domestic abuse I can attest that there can still be aspects of the abuser you like. Heck I still have a few good memories of mine far and few but they are there.

 

Dose that mean I would ever consider being around him again or letting him abuse me? Hell no..I think its tacky how Candy's situation has been picked apart I never saw this post in question but how she deals with her marital problems is her business she seams like a intelligent women and im sure she knows when to end things..

[somedude81]

I also remember a guy on here whose GF was obliviously abusive yet he was still praising her and saying how "hot" she was and how he hated to end things. I also remember other men on here trying to encourage him to deal with her BS! so it goes both ways..

If you're talking about the dude I think you are, it was his first GF and he lost his virginity to her.

 

It's understandable why he didn't want to let go of her.

 

Even then I don't think she was being abusive, he just didn't know how to deal with her.

Marriage is a deep commitment in many ways and rather different to just dating imo anyways. As a survivor of domestic abuse I can attest that there can still be aspects of the abuser you like. Heck I still have a few good memories of mine far and few but they are there.

 

Yes, but would you stay with an abuser?

 

My maternal grandfather horribly abused my grandmother and my mother when she was a child and teenager until the day she moved out and married my dad. Then my dad abused her. My mother was also moderately abusive to me when I was a child.

 

Because of those experiences I have a zero tolerance policy for abuse. I believe that relationships should be based on love and respect. And yet here I got dumped by my only GF when I only treated her great. Then I see women post on here who may not be physically abused but are being mentally and emotionally abused and they stay with the guy and actually defend him. To me that's insane.

[TigerLilly78]

If you're talking about the dude I think you are, it was his first GF and he lost his virginity to her.

 

It's understandable why he didn't want to let go of her.

 

Even then I don't think she was being abusive, he just didn't know how to deal with her.

 

 

Yes, but would you stay with an abuser?

 

My maternal grandfather horribly abused my grandmother and my mother when she was a child and teenager until the day she moved out and married my dad. Then my dad abused her. My mother was also moderately abusive to me when I was a child.

 

Because of those experiences I have a zero tolerance policy for abuse. I believe that relationships should be based on love and respect. And yet here I got dumped by my only GF when I only treated her great. Then I see women post on here who may not be physically abused but are being mentally and emotionally abused and they stay with the guy and actually defend him. To me that's insane.

 

If you take the time to read back thu his posts there is physical mental and emotional abuse it happens women abuse men so its ok if shes his 1st to then accept abuse? actually the majority of mens thoughts on that thread were well shes so hot so its worth dealing with her BS so im sorry but men are also guilty of accepting and dealing with womens BS as well even when there is abuse present..

 

No I will never allow anyone to abuse me again and ive learned from it every one deals with abuse in their own way and time. And nothing you or me say on a forum is going to alter that sad but true.Candy will move on or not in her own time but at least here she has a safe place to express her feelings..

 

Now far as your GF goes to me there is always 3 sides to any break up his hers and the truth im not saying it was entirely your fault but relationships ether prosper or fail together..so just blaming her and calling her a bitch is prob not the best way to learn from the experience..