Platonic friends

[Bobby Dygytul]

How can i tell if a girl likes me as just a platonic friend or if she sees me as something more, without straight out asking her?

[Owl]

Many women are too shy to overtly tip their hand when they're attracted to someone. Of course there are others who aren't like this -- but if the girl in question had been more forward I'm sure you wouldn't have felt the need to post your question!

 

The short answer is you can't be certain what that sort of girl feels without raising the subject at some point. However, there are hints she might drop that could clue you in and make the asking a bit easier. Many women try to "make themselves as available as possible," dropping little hints and opening up windows of opportunity for YOU to initiate something. They might mention how they have no one to see a particular movie with, or how she likes the (((insert characteristic here)))-type of guy, when that characteristic is something you possess in abundance. You might notice that she breaks into a big goofy grin when she runs into you unexpectedly, or that she always seems to be putting a greater effort into her appearance when you two meet than you might otherwise expect from her, or from your other female friends. She might get physically closer to you than would otherwise be normal for her, sitting close enough to you that you're just barely touching -- even though there's plenty of room for her to sit farther away. The list goes on and on.

 

With some women, you could get the opposite sort of signals... but driven by the same feelings of attraction. She might get nervous when she runs into you unexpectedly, or try to avoid running into you altogether unless it's planned and she can prepare. I have a good friend who becomes very aloof when she's interested in a man, almost to the point of ignoring said man altogether. She knows she shouldn't, but she can't help herself. Shyness can be an awful curse at times.

 

The point is that everyone has their quirks, and unless one of the individuals involved is a bit more direct and tries to initiate something, you might never know what's up. This whole mating game can be very aggravating, but that's just how it is.

 

If you're good friends with this girl, and if you're interested in a relationship (you didn't say, so I don't know), it's okay to raise the subject tastefully. You may never know, otherwise. In my experience it's extremely uncommon for a female friend to be shocked or really uncomfortable unless the man in question puts down a relationship ultimatum or something comparably ridiculous. It's okay to tell her she has a lot of special qualities that you value, and if she wanted to go to the movies or something sometime -- just the two of you -- you would be open to that. Like I said, precious few women will be outraged by such a simple suggestion, particularly if she knows it's okay to say no and that it won't adversely affect your status as friends.

 

I hope that helps. I suspect you knew this already, but just wanted to hear it from someone else...

 

Cheers!

How can i tell if a girl likes me as just a platonic friend or if she sees me as something more, without straight out asking her?

[disneyprincess]

I definitely agree!

 

I am usually a vacillator between the types. I am very outgoing by nature, so I try to hold back from being overly anxious or monopolizing the conversation when I really like a guy.

 

Sometimes, I try to act cool or follow "The Rules" but usually my loud and bubbly personality ends up sticking out from this facade anyway.

 

Also sometimes girls do not think about guys as more than friends until something happens.

 

Really as hard as this sounds - the only way to find out is to ask, or else you can just put on your boots and prepare for some heavy research!

 

Goodluck!

Many women are too shy to overtly tip their hand when they're attracted to someone. Of course there are others who aren't like this -- but if the girl in question had been more forward I'm sure you wouldn't have felt the need to post your question! The short answer is you can't be certain what that sort of girl feels without raising the subject at some point. However, there are hints she might drop that could clue you in and make the asking a bit easier. Many women try to "make themselves as available as possible," dropping little hints and opening up windows of opportunity for YOU to initiate something. They might mention how they have no one to see a particular movie with, or how she likes the (((insert characteristic here)))-type of guy, when that characteristic is something you possess in abundance. You might notice that she breaks into a big goofy grin when she runs into you unexpectedly, or that she always seems to be putting a greater effort into her appearance when you two meet than you might otherwise expect from her, or from your other female friends. She might get physically closer to you than would otherwise be normal for her, sitting close enough to you that you're just barely touching -- even though there's plenty of room for her to sit farther away. The list goes on and on. With some women, you could get the opposite sort of signals... but driven by the same feelings of attraction. She might get nervous when she runs into you unexpectedly, or try to avoid running into you altogether unless it's planned and she can prepare . I have a good friend who becomes very aloof when she's interested in a man, almost to the point of ignoring said man altogether. She knows she shouldn't, but she can't help herself. Shyness can be an awful curse at times. The point is that everyone has their quirks, and unless one of the individuals involved is a bit more direct and tries to initiate something, you might never know what's up. This whole mating game can be very aggravating, but that's just how it is. If you're good friends with this girl, and if you're interested in a relationship (you didn't say, so I don't know), it's okay to raise the subject tastefully. You may never know, otherwise. In my experience it's extremely uncommon for a female friend to be shocked or really uncomfortable unless the man in question puts down a relationship ultimatum or something comparably ridiculous. It's okay to tell her she has a lot of special qualities that you value, and if she wanted to go to the movies or something sometime -- just the two of you -- you would be open to that. Like I said, precious few women will be outraged by such a simple suggestion, particularly if she knows it's okay to say no and that it won't adversely affect your status as friends. I hope that helps. I suspect you knew this already, but just wanted to hear it from someone else... Cheers!