GoodFaith Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 So my dream girl (good friend of 3+ yrs) since we met there has been a lot of sexual tension. recently it's been amplified and she has been throwing herself at me. we have been spending a lot of of one on one time together. She even asked me why I haven't made a move: to which I replied, "you have a boyfriend. I don't wanna play 2nd fiddle to him and be the "other man. I'm a good guy and I deserve to be #`1." She felt rejected and I felt torn. Part of me regrets turning her down but part of me feels I don't want to miss out on the opportunity to be with the woman I care about. I'm really torn.. She claims she wants to leave her bf (of 9 yrs) but is too afraid to hurt him. Looking for any constructive advice. This is tearing me apart. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 You did the right thing. What do you think you'd get if you got with someone who clearly let you know she is willing to cheat on her partner? That's right, you'd get a cheater. Like you said you're a good guy... you deserve someone who isn't prone to cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
learning_slowly Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 My advice is don't have an affair. If she really felt something, she would split up first. It will only get harder, the longer she leaves it. You are probably thinking about it, as it is on a plate, and you don't have to work for it. However we all have to make our own mistakes. Just be ready for the pain. But before you go ahead, read some of the d-day stories about affairs on here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoodFaith Posted July 16, 2014 Author Share Posted July 16, 2014 Yes, the temptation is beginning to wear on me... Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 What dilemma? If she *does* cheat on the guy she is with to be with you, why would you want a relationship with a girl you know is capable of lying and deceiving someone else? It doesn't say much about her if she is playing both of you... Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGypsy Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 She has absolutely no reason to feel hurt or rejected. If she really wanted a relationship with you, she'd make it happen. Don't let her guilt you. You did the right thing Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoodFaith Posted July 16, 2014 Author Share Posted July 16, 2014 Thanks. for the most part I agree with the dishonesty part. I just feel that an affair may be my only shot with her... I do feel good about being honest about my intent. I guess it's up to her to decide if she wants to pursue a relationshio with integrity. there is a possibility she just want's something hot and passionate- a fwb situation. But I cant lie to myself. Even as a man i have feeling and i should not ignore in pursuit of lust. its just so hard. Link to post Share on other sites
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