60% of married women cheat, 90% feel zero guilt, 45% stay in marriage

July 17, 2014

Thoughts?

More women are cheating on their husbands – and doing it without remorse, sex researchers say.
A stunning 90 percent of adulterous wives told one Manhattan researcher they suffered “no guilt,” but rather felt “entitled” to the pleasure and excitement of their secret trysts, said Susan Shapiro Barash, a gender-studies professor and author.
“Women feel entitled because they’re not getting what they need in the marriage. That’s why women today have affairs,” said Barash, who interviewed 120 wandering women for her recent book on female infidelity, “A Passion for More: Wives Reveal the Affairs that Make or Break their Marriages.”
Based on her research, Barash contends that more than 60 percent of all married women will engage in at least one affair.
And many such women – despite socioeconomic differences – can empathize with someone like Kerry Kennedy Cuomo, Barash said.
In a breakup that rocked political and high-society circles, Kennedy Cuomo, 43, split two weeks ago from her husband of 13 years, Andrew Cuomo, over her alleged affair with randy restaurateur Bruce Colley, who is also married with children.
“These women would recognize her need – her desire to have more in her life than she had in her marriage,” said Barash, who interviewed everyone from bus dispatchers, cops and stay-at-home moms to high-powered financiers, doctors and lawyers for her study.
“For the women who choose it, it’s with great effort, so they really juggle the affair and somehow fit it in.”
Barash found her sexually active subjects by posting ads in YWCAs and asking women who responded to refer friends who were having affairs.
Some therapists don’t agree with Barash. They say many wandering women experience shame and regret – and seek help for adulterous urges.
“I have not witnessed a growing experience of ‘entitlement.’ Their conscience is bothering them,” said Kristen Harrington, a marriage counselor who treats couples for infidelity in upstate Kingston.
But other experts agreed that more women today are determined to dally and less sorry about straying.
“I don’t see women feeling a lot of guilt,” said Baltimore psychologist Shirley Glass, whose book, “Not Just Friends: Protect Your Relationship from Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal,” was published this year.
Like other daughters of sexually unfaithful fathers, Glass said, Kerry Kennedy Cuomo, the daughter of Robert Kennedy, could prefer that role rather than emulate mothers who serve as “martyrs” and “doormats.”
Women with careers and financial resources can take more risks, she added: “If their partners find out, they can take care of themselves.”
<snip>
“Women don’t just want a night of joy and pleasure,” she said. “No matter what the feminists say, women want love. They want emotional attachment and bonding.”
<snip>

Source: WHY WE CHEAT; WOMEN DOING IT MORE AND FEELING LESS GUILTY | New York Post

Edited July 17, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Quoting articles guidelines

July 17, 2014

I dont think its even about sex...I just think people in general are less committed to anything, less true to their word, and feel entitled- no matter what the circumstances/repercussions are..

Its an unfortunate scenario and I dont see anything on the horizon that is going to make this go the other way...People are all about doing what is best for them...period..

TFY

Edited July 17, 2014 by thefooloftheyear

July 17, 2014

Narcissism is on the rise.

July 17, 2014

I'll stick to dating. If a girl wants to cheat, fine. I'll move on without a messy divorce.

July 17, 2014

I think this is probably because of the deceitfulness that comes naturally to men and husbands. Men will lie about the littlest of things without a second thought. Men will lie about looking at pornography even when there's proof. Lying and deceit are ingrained in most men and because women don't particularly get as titillated as men watching porn, most porn is made for men to begin with, they get their titillation elsewhere. Women want to feel sexy, wanted, and lusted after, and when their men aren't providing this rush, they go elsewhere.

Somewhere in the relationship, a betrayal of trust happened from the man to the woman and the rebuilding of that trust never was fully fulfilled, the women don't feel remorse doing what men have done for ages. It's the liberation of women as they start to behave more and more like men.

Men are very threatened by this strength and will deny this is the case, it's the age old double standard.

July 17, 2014

I think this is probably because of the deceitfulness that comes naturally to men and husbands. Men will lie about the littlest of things without a second thought. Men will lie about looking at pornography even when there's proof. Lying and deceit are ingrained in most men and because women don't particularly get as titillated as men watching porn, most porn is made for men to begin with, they get their titillation elsewhere. Women want to feel sexy, wanted, and lusted after, and when their men aren't providing this rush, they go elsewhere.

Somewhere in the relationship, a betrayal of trust happened from the man to the woman and the rebuilding of that trust never was fully fulfilled, the women don't feel remorse doing what men have done for ages. It's the liberation of women as they start to behave more and more like men.

Men are very threatened by this strength and will deny this is the case, it's the age old double standard.

Women have done it for years too. It's just men get caught because women make bad people to cheat with. Women can keep them secret because OMs can follow orders and not get too emotionally involved.

July 17, 2014

In my situation, this was very true. My AP repeatedly said she felt no remorse and felt she was entitled to better sex because she wasn't getting it at home.

July 17, 2014

Marriage is effectively dead in western cultures if this a trend that continues.

July 17, 2014

I think this is probably because of the deceitfulness that comes naturally to men and husbands. Men will lie about the littlest of things without a second thought. Men will lie about looking at pornography even when there's proof. Lying and deceit are ingrained in most men and because women don't particularly get as titillated as men watching porn, most porn is made for men to begin with, they get their titillation elsewhere. Women want to feel sexy, wanted, and lusted after, and when their men aren't providing this rush, they go elsewhere.

Somewhere in the relationship, a betrayal of trust happened from the man to the woman and the rebuilding of that trust never was fully fulfilled, the women don't feel remorse doing what men have done for ages. It's the liberation of women as they start to behave more and more like men.

Men are very threatened by this strength and will deny this is the case, it's the age old double standard.

So its the mans fault when the woman cheats? Hang on, let me write that down.

July 17, 2014

I think this is probably because of the deceitfulness that comes naturally to men and husbands. Men will lie about the littlest of things without a second thought. Men will lie about looking at pornography even when there's proof. Lying and deceit are ingrained in most men and because women don't particularly get as titillated as men watching porn, most porn is made for men to begin with, they get their titillation elsewhere. Women want to feel sexy, wanted, and lusted after, and when their men aren't providing this rush, they go elsewhere.

Somewhere in the relationship, a betrayal of trust happened from the man to the woman and the rebuilding of that trust never was fully fulfilled, the women don't feel remorse doing what men have done for ages. It's the liberation of women as they start to behave more and more like men.

Men are very threatened by this strength and will deny this is the case, it's the age old double standard.

Wait, what? Am i reading correctly women should be able to cheat with a clear conscious because men have porn and cheating is just porn for women...?

Also, in any relationship partners hurt each other on way or another. It is inevitable being close to someone. Never justifies cheating. And to keep this gender free. I can't imagine anyone NOT feeling threatened by their spouses affair.

July 17, 2014

So its the mans fault when the woman cheats? Hang on, let me write that down.

And also the man's fault when the man cheats. Don't forget to write that down too Keenly. No way around it, our gender sucks and i want a refund

July 17, 2014

Article reads a bit sensationalist to me. Quick google search and I come up with mostly around 20-30% in married couples, with men and women cheating fairly evenly. Also, no reference to the number + the no guilt thing is anecdotal.

But I do agree with other posters that marriage as an institute is quickly going to the way of the dinosaurs. Not just cheating, but divorce rates being around 50% in general for 1st time marriages. Children unknowingly not being fathered by their biological father between 8-15% (which does suggest a higher than 20-30% cheating occurence) etc. It all kind of reads like walking into a minefield, that whole marriage thing.

Sod it. If I find a suitable partner I am going to try it anyway. Have to try anything at least once

July 17, 2014

"This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, 'I've done nothing wrong.'" (Proberbs 30:20)

July 17, 2014

Lots of women marry men who don't necessarily get their panties wet. Like he's a nice guy, Great provider, great father figure, but lust after him? Nah that's what the guy on the side is for

July 17, 2014

The thing is really that this has always been going on, it's just under greater scrutiny because in this age, nothing is really discreet anymore. People are much freer with their opinions and feelings than before. Women and men have always cheated as much as each other and showed the same level of deceit as the other gender. Sure, different reasons, but same outcome.

One good thing is that people will be less likely to force themselves into marriage if they know it's not for them. It may seem like it doesn't bode well for people who want to be married or are strictly monogamous, but while it may leave the pool a bit more empty, there will be no time-wasters!

July 17, 2014

There is something very wrong with someone that feels no remorse for doing such a thing. If someone wants out of a relationship, that's one thing, but to be a cake eater is another. Esspecially when your faithful partner is sitting at home oblivious of your actions. They are no better than murderers who feel no remorse for their actions.

Edited July 17, 2014 by marcjb

July 17, 2014

I think this is probably because of the deceitfulness that comes naturally to men and husbands. Men will lie about the littlest of things without a second thought. Men will lie about looking at pornography even when there's proof. Lying and deceit are ingrained in most men and because women don't particularly get as titillated as men watching porn, most porn is made for men to begin with, they get their titillation elsewhere. Women want to feel sexy, wanted, and lusted after, and when their men aren't providing this rush, they go elsewhere.

Somewhere in the relationship, a betrayal of trust happened from the man to the woman and the rebuilding of that trust never was fully fulfilled, the women don't feel remorse doing what men have done for ages. It's the liberation of women as they start to behave more and more like men.

Men are very threatened by this strength and will deny this is the case, it's the age old double standard.

Right. Women cheating on their husbands is obviously the husbands fault. I'm sure that is part of their rationalization, but cheating is always the fault of the cheater.

I think the rise of wives infidelity is the no fault divorce and more permissive culture. Wives know that, even if they cheat, they will walk away from the divorce with cash and prizes. The consequences of cheating are not particularly bad, why not do it? Itis a rational response.

July 17, 2014

If only those mad Japanese scientists would perfect those sexbots, they could cheat as much as their hearts desired.

On a more serious note, what's with all the female teachers? Even with front pages filled with mug shots, ( I mean don't get me wrong, I would have given my dog away for several such moments...but I digress.) they won't be deterred! The most recent incident involving a 12 year old boy? WTH man.

Edited July 17, 2014 by MoreCoffee

July 17, 2014

This statistic seems random.

And 120 interviewees hardly seems sufficient. Also Most likely from a similar category.

July 17, 2014

The article is totally skewed. For those who track statistics the general consensus is that woman cheat 30 to 60 percent of the time. So the author took the high end number and ran with it.

And the same statistics claim that men cheat a good 10 percent more than women.

July 17, 2014

Marriage is effectively dead in western cultures if this a trend that continues.

Thank God. That's a good thing. Marriage as a concept is extremely antiquated....it's a property deal from way back. It has no practical application in today's world, and let's face it, it causes far more problems than it solves.

Look at it objectively. People are forced through a legally binding contract to have a relationship. WTF? I can tell you from experience that an amazing committed relationship can be had and maintained without making it a legal arrangement. People make all kinds of TERRIBLE life decisions based of the pressure to marry. It's really ridiculous when you step back and look at it realistically vs romantically. It's just a not-well-thought-out grandeuristic gesture that far more often than not locks people into a life they really don't want to live. Which then sets up all kinds of devastating fall-out when it doesn't work.

And speaking of it not working....look, in the US, more than 50% of marriages fail. But that stat only speaks to those that officially legally fail. What about the COUNTLESS bad marriages where people live together miserably because they refuse to get divorced?

I'm going to go ahead and say 70-75% of marriages never should have happened in the first place. Let's try to get to a point societally where if two people get married, it's because they just really, really, really want to....and them let the rest of the rational people to live their lives the way they want to.

July 17, 2014

Why link a ten year old article?

July 17, 2014

Why link a ten year old article?

*x-files music plays in the backround*

Why not. Sexual standards are declining at a steady rate. By my own research and calculations is is now 100% of people who cheat and 100% who don't feel guilty! The math doesn't lie.

It is the end of civilization as we know it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Run for your lifes men. There is no more hope

July 17, 2014

I think the rise of wives infidelity is the no fault divorce and more permissive culture. Wives know that, even if they cheat, they will walk away from the divorce with cash and prizes. The consequences of cheating are not particularly bad, why not do it? Itis a rational response.

I think this statement is 100% true. Women get rewarded for hurting their husbands. With the family courts being bias against men a cheating wife suffers no repercussions for their actions. Feminist have destroyed marriage and family with no fault divorce and the bias against men. It is funny that feminist want equality on one hand, however feel entitled to what a man earns. If women are so independent today, then why must they cash out in a divorce? Why do they need alimony? Well as far as I am concerned women can cheat and do whatever they like, I have learned how to say "NO" to them. I say give modern women the men that they deserve, and that is NONE.

July 17, 2014

Thank God. That's a good thing. Marriage as a concept is extremely antiquated....it's a property deal from way back. It has no practical application in today's world, and let's face it, it causes far more problems than it solves.

Look at it objectively. People are forced through a legally binding contract to have a relationship. WTF? I can tell you from experience that an amazing committed relationship can be had and maintained without making it a legal arrangement. People make all kinds of TERRIBLE life decisions based of the pressure to marry. It's really ridiculous when you step back and look at it realistically vs romantically. It's just a not-well-thought-out grandeuristic gesture that far more often than not locks people into a life they really don't want to live. Which then sets up all kinds of devastating fall-out when it doesn't work.

And speaking of it not working....look, in the US, more than 50% of marriages fail. But that stat only speaks to those that officially legally fail. What about the COUNTLESS bad marriages where people live together miserably because they refuse to get divorced?

I'm going to go ahead and say 70-75% of marriages never should have happened in the first place. Let's try to get to a point societally where if two people get married, it's because they just really, really, really want to....and them let the rest of the rational people to live their lives the way they want to.

I don't get it.

We're at that point now.

No one in most western cultures at least is ever 'forced' to get married.

Live the way you want...if marriage isn't for you...don't marry.

Even 'rational' people can want to marry...as amazing as that sounds.

Why do you seem to take the tact that marriage was somehow required for anyone?

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60% of married women cheat, 90% feel zero guilt, 45% stay in marriage

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