shakepig Posted July 13, 2014 Share Posted July 13, 2014 (edited) I have been strict NC for 80 days, two days after he broke up with me for the second time. not a single beep. I can feel I'm moving on, except some moments I wonder if he would think of me and regret what he has done ( he had a fwb when having an exclusive relationship with me, gave me chlamydia, hid from me till I found out, apologized when I was ready to leave, but turned the table around soon after and dumped me to run away from the mess he created) I do feel self-pity about being treated this way and deeply regretted that I did crying and begging him to stay at the heat of the moment. How to completely let it go, forgive myself for being a fool ? ? gotta keep moving on.. is there any book and website I could read? Edited July 13, 2014 by shakepig 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author shakepig Posted July 18, 2014 Author Share Posted July 18, 2014 So in the past 4 months, I have been on strict NC, no fb, no text and no phone calls. Even managed not to bump into him when he lives right down the street ( not sure anymore, maybe he moved) There is no single beep or breadcrumb from his end. Guess he is over me by now.. and it is truly over.. I have been doing good, occasionally he still comes across my mind. I feel like I'm on the last stage of letting go and moving on.. the past week has been tough on me. Any one feeling the same? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostConfused123 Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 I was. It wad actually almost 4 months to the day my breadcrumb came. I ignored the first. Then another came. I caved. Now I'm back to beginning. If you get one, stay strong. I would be so much farther in my healing by now. Oh well. Live and learn. Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
LostConfused123 Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Oh to answer your question, yes. The 3 month was a real biotch for me. Very difficult. I'm sure the 4th one would have sucked too. Sorry you're feeling down. ((hugs!)) Link to post Share on other sites
Author shakepig Posted July 18, 2014 Author Share Posted July 18, 2014 Oh to answer your question, yes. The 3 month was a real biotch for me. Very difficult. I'm sure the 4th one would have sucked too. Sorry you're feeling down. ((hugs!)) I keep counting the days passing by. I've told him not to contact me during my grieving process. I appreciate him and hate him for respecting my wish at the same time.. sigh... Link to post Share on other sites
Author shakepig Posted July 18, 2014 Author Share Posted July 18, 2014 I was. It wad actually almost 4 months to the day my breadcrumb came. I ignored the first. Then another came. I caved. Now I'm back to beginning. If you get one, stay strong. I would be so much farther in my healing by now. Oh well. Live and learn. Best of luck! Do you mind if i ask what breadcrumb he sent to you? a simple "how have you been"? I doubt I would get one even if he misses me. He is a person with big pride. Link to post Share on other sites
LostConfused123 Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 I keep counting the days passing by. I've told him not to contact me during my grieving process. I appreciate him and hate him for respecting my wish at the same time.. sigh... Yes. You perfectly described (for me anyway) the way it feels. A part of me wanted the breadcrumbs but they also set me back. UGH!! Link to post Share on other sites
elseaacych Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 I know what you mean: For those of us who were cut off cold turkey, we want so desperately to feel like we mattered, and the easiest way we can feel that way is through breadcrumbs. However, we feel we want breadcrumbs because we want to think that we STILL matter. That present-tense of thinking is what is preventing us from moving on, and what prompts us to respond to breadcrumbs, because we still hope that we can reconcile. The only way you can take solace is that you know that at one point you were special, and there will always be a defining characteristic that makes your relationship stand out in a sea of memories to your ex, (Your "first", Your "most adventurous", your "longest") So you will be remembered, but it just isn't special anymore. There are other people out there that care about you deeply, and it is for those people, and yourself, that you want to get over your ex. Because when you do, you open your heart up to love again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DandelionGirl Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Hey, I know what you're going through! 3 months of NC here. I, too, begged and pleaded in the heat of the moment. What made me feel better (I also felt like a fool) is that I listened to the song "Everybody Plays the Fool" by The Main Ingredient. It's a really happy sounding song and for some reason it gave me peace. Maybe it was just my time to play the fool, y'know? Also, a book I really recommend is "The Miracle Morning" by Hal Elrod. The guy who wrote it really went through a lot. (His girlfriend left him while he was in the Emergency Room) It's about waking up early so you can focus on self-care and the future. I highly recommend it! It has helped me a bit so far even though sometimes I can still be a mess lol. Link to post Share on other sites
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